To call off girl’s holiday on the day?

[whereismyhisband]

I’m due to go on a girl’s holiday for a week with a friend, an all inclusive to Cape Verde.

This friend had warned me that she’s somewhat of an anxious traveller, but that it would be fine.

Our flight is at 4:45pm. Our airline has said be there a maximum of three hours early.

The airport is half an hour from my house and my job is 15 minutes in the other direction from my job.

I am working until 12, so that I only needed to take a half day of leave.

She has been texting me since 6am asking if I’m sure I want to work today, and asking if we should leave for the airport at 10! I can’t deal with this today, I have a lot to do before I finish at work and don’t see the need for it. I’ve never traveled with her before and to be honest if I’d known she was like this I’d not have booked it. AIBU to just not go?

Probably too late, but a big part of the issue here is that you are freaking out rather than, as the more experienced traveller, clearly setting the expectations and tone for the holiday with your friend. Agree on the preliminaries ahead of time; if this means you travel to the airport separately because she wants to be there six hours ahead and you want to rock up at the last minute, great - say you'll meet her at the gate at x time and DO that. If she's barraging you with texts, reply ONCE saying that you're going into a work meeting and you'll see her at the airport at 2 and then don't respond unless there's some change or complication that actually needs your attention. ON the holiday, be clear the FIRST time it comes up if you want to spend separate time, split up for the day and meet for dinner, etc. If you want to go somewhere and she's hesitant, say she's welcome to come but go on your own if she says no. Don't be rude to her, and do make some allowances for the fact that she's less experienced than you and may naturally be looking for reassurance and guidance. Compromise, but when something's important to you be clear and firm with her right away rather than raging to others afterwards. (And consider not calling her "hysterical" over and over; it's repetitive and often comes across as misogynistic.)

You’d be massively unreasonable to cancel. You surely knew this about her before you booked to go away?

Just tell her what time you are getting to the airport and let her get there earlier if she wants to!

remind her that you’re a frequent traveller and know what you’re doing!

And she kept posting quite frequently all through her "work" and after somehow getting home, showering, getting dressed, driving and then arriving at the airport, parking, and finding her way to the baggage drop off point in a flash of light.

I wouldn't cancel, but Christ, she sounds like a nightmare. Her anxiety would make me anxious and pissed off. Just mute her messages and ignore her until you get home from work.

Frankly, you both sound hard work.

OPs got home, showered, back at the airport and through baggage drop off!

Amazing!

Indeed. I wonder what her job is.

Airport security I reckon!

What an utterly pointless comment

😂😂

Why?

Cool story bro

Op - your just doing airports wrong. We love to get there with plenty of time to spare, have a mooch around the shops then check into the lounge for a meal & some relaxed drinks. Early to the airport is great

You can’t cancel now - that would be so unkind! And just as ‘hysterical’ and over the top as your friend is being.

10 is VERY early, but your preferred time of 2pm would be a risky business. I know you say you fly frequently but have you been in the last month or so? Things ARE taking longer. I’d consider the airline’s 3 hour advice - it’s not worth starting the holiday full of adrenaline after a big rush!

Not that I’m buying this, but I’ve found traffic to be sooooo much faster earlier in the day. If she usually takes 15 mins to get home leaving at 5pm, she might have left early and got home in 5 mins. I used to do a route going through my town centre. If I left 5 mins early I would get to my destination 30 mins early. But if I left 5 mins later, I might be 5 mins late for my class. So I had to leave 5 mins early and sit there for 30 mins every week or I might only just get there on time or even be late. So weird! It was a class that started at 5pm.

Plus read all those texts and answer the phone. Quite a morning.

Have a lovely holiday OP! Hopefully your friend is a bit more relaxed now n you can both have a great, stress-free week away. 😎🍹☀️

I do agree that OP would be silly to cancel the whole holiday, but then again she is probably (and not without good reason) wondering if the whole holiday is going to be like this.

Which car park are you parking at?! I think Car Park 5/6 maybe but the multi storey and valet can be like 3 mins? We get the train though as straight to the airport then :)

I’d go but be prepared to jump ship. I can’t believe that anyone would think this is reasonable and you’re wrong- I think it would be a very different story if you’d had put a friend of your daughter had sent over 100 text before 9 am about it! Or you’ve been inundated with people who have no idea how to function. I’d have silenced the ‘friend’ on my phone and focused on work that I’m paid to do, but then my phone’s always on silent as I have to for my job and I ‘forget’ in real life to switch it off it every day.

The way you have spoken about her here it seems you have lost all respect and whatever affection you had for her. That won't go away and is going to be the end of your friendship. Why drag it out? Just text her to say you are cancelling because her behaviour today has made you dislike her and that you want no more contact with her. Send her a link to this thread, so she knows exactly how you feel. Sure she will be upset and will probably not go and lose all her money, but that's not your problem, right? But I think once she's read this thread and it all sinks in she will thank her lucky stars that she missed out on a holiday with you.

Hope you have separate rooms!

Anxiety is one thing but there is no need to send someone 100 texts, that's just unhinged. Send ChatGPT 100 messages instead, if you must pester.

You don’t have to “put up with it”.

Be assertive to her and tell her what time you will be meeting her. Then go and meet her.

I honestly can’t see what the issue is.

😂😂

The issue is the friend might be not just anxious but actually mad and pestering OP like this all holiday, and it's the OP's holiday too. I'd go but would be prepared to ditch her.