To call off girl’s holiday on the day?

[whereismyhisband]

I’m due to go on a girl’s holiday for a week with a friend, an all inclusive to Cape Verde.

This friend had warned me that she’s somewhat of an anxious traveller, but that it would be fine.

Our flight is at 4:45pm. Our airline has said be there a maximum of three hours early.

The airport is half an hour from my house and my job is 15 minutes in the other direction from my job.

I am working until 12, so that I only needed to take a half day of leave.

She has been texting me since 6am asking if I’m sure I want to work today, and asking if we should leave for the airport at 10! I can’t deal with this today, I have a lot to do before I finish at work and don’t see the need for it. I’ve never traveled with her before and to be honest if I’d known she was like this I’d not have booked it. AIBU to just not go?

Oh God.

Would you have been so chilled if he didn't actually know when the flight was?

31 posts dripping with contempt. I don't find that reasonable, either.

Don't be so intolerant.

Just tell her when you are arriving at the airport. Reassure her it will be fine timewise.

Of course YABU to cancel the whole thing after a request to get to the airport a few hours earlier. You don't even have to do it.

@whereismyhisband Second thoughts yet?
Are you sharing a room? Because that really would send me to collect my bags and run screaming from the airport all the way home.
Nobody needs to send more than 100 texts about a flight - how many has she managed so far?
If you go to the loo, does she text you?

Honestly. For MY mental health, I'd be so very tempted to send her on her own. From the second the plane takes off, until you land back in the UK after a "holiday" hah, some fucking holiday she will be wanging on about getting home or passports or parking charges or the plane being late.

🍸🍹 You'll need it!

She’s your friend, it might be annoying but try to be a bit more understanding. Yes, you travel multiple times a year but she doesn’t and she’s feeling anxious. You can stick to your plans and tell her you’re not leaving any earlier, but just try and reassure her a bit. No need to cancel the holiday!

That message would send her into a total tailspin. Just do as other suggested and say you will be there at 1pm then turn your phone off. Don't add to the drama. Not going would be very cruel

People really need to start reading OP's updates - they're already at the airport with PLENTY of time to spare!

Anxiety is not a "reasonable" mental health condition by it's very nature. It is not something those of us with anxiety can easily control - therapy and medication can help certainly but it's not something we choose.

It's the same as a phobia - logically I know the thing I am phobic about is not going to hurt me but I CAN'T HELP IT.

You are incredibly ill-informed about anxiety and sound like you are massively lacking in tolerance and empathy for your friend who likely cannot control her thoughts, worries and actions.

I do dislike people using the term 'they're an adult' - so because you're an adult you should be expected to deal with everything life throws at you, big or small and not have any reactions or anxieties?

Of course adults are allowed to have all sorts of anxieties, even quite big ones. What adults shouldn't do is run to "mummy" (or another adult they are expecting to fill the place of mummy) and expect their surrogate mummy to spend hours soothing and comforting them, over quite minor issues, the way one might do with a toddler. In fact, no - if someone spent a whole morning soothing a toddler tantrum, most people on here would be ranting (justifiably) about how you're setting the child up for problems later on. And yet a fully grown adult is allowed to try and commandeer all that time and attention from another adult - rather than doing something sensible, like making her own way to the airport at a time that suits her, practising meditation and deep breathing, or taking some medication (prescription or OTC) - and everyone is saying it's fine??

Also, from getting out of the shower, she dressed, got ready, left, did a 30m drive, parked at a car park which is about 10m walk, found the correct bag drop to see there are no queues and reported back to us in 39 minutes.

Okay...

Time to take her to Spoons.

Today 12:42
And I’ve made it 😎 ridiculously early, barely any queue for bag drop and a nice long wait in departures awaits, because that’s what everyone wants huh!

of course you are - 39 mins after getting out the shower

so there you are

wet hair no make up wrapped in a towel

and you managed the 30 min car ? journey and dealing with the car

all in 39 mins

and you did all that since leaving at 11.50 am

And then by 12.42 she’s driven another half an hour, parked, walked/taken the shuttle to the terminal and got through bag drop. Nope. Not buying the maths.

You sound like a very intolerant ‘friend’. Cancelling an entire holiday at the last minute because she’s angsty about getting to the airport on time is very dramatic.

Who says I needed to wash my hair? I did all that last night. I just needed a quick freshen up, and into my clothes that I’d laid out last night.

Found a park in no time and teleported to the bag drop!

All this attention is just supplying energy to an OP who might well intend to text unpelasantly about her friend at the same time they are 'enjoying' their holiday. Friend sounds like a scapegoat. This is a variant of bullying with all of us complicit in the cyberbully gang. Why would anyone be so two faced?

Yes very unreasonable and I sympathise with your friend.
I always like to leave plenty of time because I hate the thought of the stress if something happens to delay me. It's always better to have loads of time to spare than it is to have to run through the airport before check in closes.
I would never work the morning before going on holiday either. But once I'm on the plane everything is fine

I also have quite a bad phobia towards something frequently encountered in daily life, and I wouldn't dream of spending an entire morning hassling another adult about it. If I can get someone to remove the source of the phobia quickly and easily, I do. But if no one else is around, I sort myself out. It's called taking responsibility.

You don’t come across well. I feel more sorry for her holidaying with you than the other way round.

Given that you didn't even get the flight time right I can see exactly why your "friend" was anxious about it.

Its amazing what Proper Adults can achive

Wow. I never comment on these but from the OP I thought definitely YABU. Then I read your constant stream of nasty, arrogant comments (whilst you were meant to be snowed under at work) and the way you speak about your friend. I don't think I've ever seen someone be so vile and unkind about their friend. Someone who you are clearly close enough to go on this trip with in the first place. I dread to imagine what you're like to be around as a friend or partner.

I hope she sees the light after this holiday and she doesn't waste her time and money going away with someone who speaks about her in this way behind her back.

Biggest YABU I've ever given.