To call off girl’s holiday on the day?

[whereismyhisband]

I’m due to go on a girl’s holiday for a week with a friend, an all inclusive to Cape Verde.

This friend had warned me that she’s somewhat of an anxious traveller, but that it would be fine.

Our flight is at 4:45pm. Our airline has said be there a maximum of three hours early.

The airport is half an hour from my house and my job is 15 minutes in the other direction from my job.

I am working until 12, so that I only needed to take a half day of leave.

She has been texting me since 6am asking if I’m sure I want to work today, and asking if we should leave for the airport at 10! I can’t deal with this today, I have a lot to do before I finish at work and don’t see the need for it. I’ve never traveled with her before and to be honest if I’d known she was like this I’d not have booked it. AIBU to just not go?

In what world have you done a half day at work this morning OP? 🤔

You know you're going to miss the flight?

she needs to manage it rather than expecting a friend to do so for her.

I think this is the crux of it. The friend expects the OP to be her emotional crutch and to respond to an insane number of texts and communications for reassurance, instead of getting on headspace, or watching some AMSR video, or whatever she needs to do to stop spiralling.

I fear you may be right.
Strap in for a cross between a Final Destination plotline and a poetry recital (when all the MN resident Pam Ayres start scribbling their witty musings usually on thread 2).

It's possible. I genuinely do have a phobia but have flown alone a lot. Terror isn't hugely helped by others anyway.

I'm responding to the OPs denial of the existence of an anxiety disorder. No obviously the OP isn't responsible for managing her friends health condition any more than she's required to manage another paraplegic friend's health condition. But I imagine that a visible physical disability wouldn't be dismissed as hysteria. The OPs attitude is horrific.

Invested!
My daughter, 19, has just had this with her friend. First time flying together. She had the friends multiple texts plus the forwarded parents texts plus the background knowledge that her friends parents would be apple tracking them all holiday.
She found it weird, then felt responsible, then frustrated before full down post holiday angry de brief.

Yes, this, surely? She’s not relying on you for a lift there, is she?

You are run off your feet at work and yet you've got time to post on Mumsnet ???

And I’ve made it 😎 ridiculously early, barely any queue for bag drop and a nice long wait in departures awaits, because that’s what everyone wants huh!

Exactly, if OP is going to roll her eyes at her friend for not acting like an adult, then she needs to look in the mirror and accept she too isn't acting like an adult and simply telling her friend shes at work now, cant reply, and muting her, rather than being a massive drama queen and considering cancelling the trip.

Youre a fully grown adult, so use your big grown up words OP, its not difficult.

You are being unreasonable. In this scenario I feel sorry for.your friend as you seem to lack empathy. Are you aware that grown adults can have anxieties and fears? It is not abnormal. You don't sound like a very nice friend. I wouldn't want to go on holiday with you.

I do dislike people using the term 'they're an adult' - so because you're an adult you should be expected to deal with everything life throws at you, big or small and not have any reactions or anxieties?

More than a little unfair when we all have something that others would regard as unreasonable - be it a fear of spiders, lightning or travelling through airports!

Of course 100 messages is ridiculous but your general attitude isn't kind to your friend.

I just don’t think this level of anxiety is reasonable, nor should it be indulged. She is flapping over absolutely nothing.

It is so bizarre this thread is someone’s idea of fun. It’s working though I guess.

This is a huge ick for me OP so I get it. If she wants to get there hours before then crack on but anyone suggesting you should alter your plans for her are being unreasonable. She manages her own anxiety.

Excellent you can keep us updated with all the nonsense!

Maybe doesn't wash legs just lets water run

But who are you to decide what level someone's anxiety is acceptable? I'm sure she doesn't enjoy feeling like she does.

The maths isn't mathsing on this one

How is she now you've arrived?

Has your friend calmed down at all now, OP? Or acknowledged that she was fussing about nothing?

Yes I was wondering where OP got their time machine that enabled them to do a 15 minute journey and have a shower all within 14 minutes

It’s a shame she’s not super chilled knowing she’s flying with a seasoned traveller. I flew for the first time in years last year and we went with DH friend who is a frequent traveller and while I was worried about the flight I had zero worries about getting there checking in etc as I was of the opinion that the friends does this al the time he knows what he’s doing I’ll just follow his lead!