To call off girl’s holiday on the day?

[whereismyhisband]

I’m due to go on a girl’s holiday for a week with a friend, an all inclusive to Cape Verde.

This friend had warned me that she’s somewhat of an anxious traveller, but that it would be fine.

Our flight is at 4:45pm. Our airline has said be there a maximum of three hours early.

The airport is half an hour from my house and my job is 15 minutes in the other direction from my job.

I am working until 12, so that I only needed to take a half day of leave.

She has been texting me since 6am asking if I’m sure I want to work today, and asking if we should leave for the airport at 10! I can’t deal with this today, I have a lot to do before I finish at work and don’t see the need for it. I’ve never traveled with her before and to be honest if I’d known she was like this I’d not have booked it. AIBU to just not go?

Despite my flying phobia, I'd rather fly alone than with someone as critical as the OP.

Maybe the OP is just dealing with her own feelings about this stressful situation by posting here.

Why is that any worse than what her friend is doing? In fact I think it’s not on par. She’s not causing anyone else anxiety by doing so.

Super productive morning at work then a handy vortex that got you home before you'd even left work
I I reckon there's a three thread thriller coming here
forget snapped and farted and the Sistine chapel
so last year

You live 15 minutes from work. You finished at 11:50 so shouldn't have been home until at least 12:05. But you were home and showered by 12:03.

I'd have been anxious too if my friend said they were working till 12 then driving going home to shower before driving to the airport - there are lots of things that could delay this. Fine if you know if you can do it and aren't the type to get waylaid but can't you see how it cause someone else to worry you might be late? I have panics about getting stuck in traffic or a massive security line and missing my flight so am like this before travel but have a lovely relaxed holiday when I'm there.

Unless maybe it's somewhere with a disease outbreak and poor healthcare facilities - do be cautious!

Sometimes it’s all down to luck anyway. I kept having this discussion with a friend, I always go to the airport far earlier than needed, whereas he arrives, sprints through the airport and makes it just so the minute before the close the gate. He never missed a flight. I did.

It sounds like the friend would not be capable of traveling alone. She expects OP to be the receptacle for all of her anxiety.

Great that you have time to keep MN updated on this exciting endeavour, OP 🫶

Did you actually do any work at work today OP? Seems you were posting to this thread the whole time!

And you're a fully grown adult with seemingly zero empathy, understanding or tolerance for the anxieties of others and the inability to effectively communicate your concerns.

Give me the choice of an anxious traveller or an un-feeling shite who moans behind friend's backs rather than speaking up and, well, I am not picking you!

It's a bit of a short-lived OP. End of the saga is 3.45pm one way or the other...

OP doesn’t even know the time of her flight! I think the friend is a useful assistance!

While your friend might be ‘hysterical’ you are clearly desperate for attention.

Why are you going on holiday with someone you obviously dislike so much?

Would anyone else be secretly delighted if OP gets stuck in unexpected roadworks and doesn’t make it on time?

Your friend thinks she's going on holiday with a 'friend'!
But you're no friend, so I think you should cancel for her sake!!

Come on, there are those of us who can set off to a different country at 18 and live with a family they’ve never met before for a year, and there are those of us who don’t like going to the pub on their own. She’s clearly in the latter camp - you know this.

Just push back and tell her when you’ll be there and that you need to concentrate on work now. And then don’t answer any more messages.

You're this ditzy, no wonder she's anxious you'll miss the flight.

in future stick to going alone & you can be as late as you like & as dismissive as you like.

I couldn’t do with this! I’d be tempted to tell her I’m running late as all her interruptions this morning meant I still had work to do. Sounds like you’re going to be her airport emotional support human 😭

No, she thinks OP is her mummy and emotional support animal.

Nothing but empathy for her anxiety but she needs to manage it rather than expecting a friend to do so for her.

I think this would do my head in too. Just tell her you’re going to turn your phone off as you’re at work. Set a meeting time and place at the airport and don’t turn your phone on until you’re just about to leave the house.

I started with some sympathy for her as I am well travelled, travel by plane around 12+ times a year and I am an anxious travelled until I am in the air which was only made worse when we missed a flight 3 years ago due to an accident that gridlocked us and we couldn't make it.

When I went away with friends last year it was worse than with my family internally. They were all very chill and I felt like I lost control as I am used to being the one in charge as I sort out all my family ones amd get to the airport with a stupid amount of time to spare but it was my own issue and although they could sense I was stressed I tried to keep it to a minimum.

I am like this is life. I have ADHD and instead of typical time blindness I get over anxious about lateness and stuff. I am at least half an hour early to work every day. Hour early for important interviews. Always because of the "what ifs".

However 100 messages, plus calls plus crying is another level. I hope she is like me and once take off has happened then will be ok. Personally I am never as bad on the way home. I hope it turns more positive and at least you know now for future bookings!

That would have taken 2 messages to clear up. Not 100 and a 15 minute call.

Good heavens you both seem like drama queens. A match made in heaven/hell?

it’s absurdly dramatic to be so stressed about the airport and travelling that she’s called you so many times but it’s also absurdly dramatic to cancel the whole thing over this. Just tell her your phone is going off while you’re at work and you’ll see her there, put it on silent and crack on with your day. No need for your dramatics either.

and who are these people who keep arranging to go on holiday with 'friends' they don't appear to know well or be honest with?

As a PP who suffers from anxiety herself has pointed out, being anxious is one thing, but dumping it on other people in this way, harassing them and trying to control their own movements, is completely out of line. You are allowed to be anxious, but ruining someone else's holiday with your response to your own anxiety is another kettle of fish.