To call off girl’s holiday on the day?

[whereismyhisband]

I’m due to go on a girl’s holiday for a week with a friend, an all inclusive to Cape Verde.

This friend had warned me that she’s somewhat of an anxious traveller, but that it would be fine.

Our flight is at 4:45pm. Our airline has said be there a maximum of three hours early.

The airport is half an hour from my house and my job is 15 minutes in the other direction from my job.

I am working until 12, so that I only needed to take a half day of leave.

She has been texting me since 6am asking if I’m sure I want to work today, and asking if we should leave for the airport at 10! I can’t deal with this today, I have a lot to do before I finish at work and don’t see the need for it. I’ve never traveled with her before and to be honest if I’d known she was like this I’d not have booked it. AIBU to just not go?

Sounds like she might be right to be a little bit anxious if you both don’t know the flight time 😂

What? I got the time mixed up. Still not a big deal because it’s plenty of time.

I agree that 100 messages is ridiculous (if this isn't an exaggeration), but not actually knowing the right time for a flight when you're traveling with somebody with travel anxiety isn't great.

I don't have travel anxiety but equally am not filled with confidence at your mistake or how relaxed you are about it.

Tell her your plans, then mute chat and ignore until you’re done working. Cancelling would be a huge overreaction

I would too. Not sure I'd be brave enough to actually pull the plug but I'd certainly want to. Especially if I got my holiday days back to use another time. I consider myself a really nice and kind person (but maybe I'm not) but this sounds like pure insanity and a recipe for an awful trip. You'd have to be ok with losing the friendship though. If you are really not going to go, you need to first set a very firm boundary and make it clear you may consider not going if she oversteps again, and then you'd be within your reasons to cancel.

@ThatCyanCat that and continuing to narrate the saga on mn instead of getting on with the huge amount of work she had to do

This

100 messages is ridiculous.

Cancelling on the day is ridiculous.

Are you sure you and this woman are friends? It doesnt sound much like it.

Total over reaction on your part.

No, but I'd respond a few times ("What if there's a long security line?" "Then we'll pay £50 to change our flights to the next available one." "What if we lose our passports?" "Then we won't go on holiday, no-one will die.") and then say, "I'm at work now, try and relax and I'll see you at 1pm. It's just a holiday." and mute the conversation.

If she's doing it for attention, she'll stop once it doesn't get attention, if she's genuinely anxious then she'll have to find a different strategy.

I definitely wouldn't go into panic mode and try to cancel a holiday which is hours away. In all likelihood, once they've arrived at the airport, the friend will be absolutely fine.

Are you still going then . I think you’re going to be in a rush tbh . Hope there’s no hiccups at n way to airport or at the airport . Ya never know !

You got the departure time wrong by an hour. If this is your general attitude it’s no wonder your fellow traveller (won’t say friend as you’re no friend to her) is feeling anxious. It seems to me that you are almost goading her by being super-casual about the trip whereas it’s clearly a big thing for her.

Try not to get sucked into her drama - the more you feed it the worse it will get.
100 text messages is nuts and the distraction she's causing (and will continue to cause on holiday) could mean you actually do miss things, simply due to her!
IMO she needs professional help, this is not normal at all.

Good luck, I think you're going to need it!

There’s something about the repeated use of hysteria/hysterical to describe an anxious woman that just feels… well off.

Funnily enough it’s quite distracting when someone is having a toddler level meltdown to your phone!

How else would you describe it? It is hysterical

Good to see you still have time to be posting on MN though 🙄

Mute your phone if it bothers you that much...

1. You really didn't need to be in work if you had time to spend all morning updating mumsnet.
2. Next time you start a thread like this make sure you check out the times of flights to Cape Verde (or whichever destination it is next time), posters are going to check things like this and unfortunately it makes your post seem less believable if you make mistakes like that.
3. It's no wonder she's "hysterical" (awful word by the way), if you don't even know what time the flight is.

I don't usually reply to threads like these as the problems are insignificant and will work themselves out given time. But! You really really remind me of an old friend I had in my twenties, whose no nonsense, sort yourself out approach mirrors yours and was equally brutal. In my case I was constantly castigated for not being independent enough, to stop being childish, to grow up etc when my overriding anxiety made everyday life extremely hard to cope with. Do you know how that made a younger me feel? An utter failure: for being too weak, not enough, deficient, lacking capacity, dehumanized, a non entity waste of space. The knock on effect of such a lack of empathy from a so called friend helped contribute to a lifetime of depression and a severe anxiety disorder. My friend just couldn't fathom that we're not all built in the same mould with endless supplies of resilience and confidence to carry us through. That if she found something easy to do, then why couldn't I? My point being, find some compassion for your friend. Yes, it may be annoying and ridiculous to you but you don't know what's going on in her head and how her anxiety is manifesting in different facets of her life. Be her strength. Offer support. And in return, I'm sure she's probably brilliant at organisation and time management; things you'll appreciate when abroad and trying to navigate excursions and the like.

I love that you think she was OTT to be reminding you and yet you had actually got the flight time wrong!

they both sound like a complete nightmare 😂

The OP so arrogant and superior, and so busy at work, but somehow finds the time to read hundred of messages and post on here.

and the friend who is allowed to be anxious but is an adult and can keep it to herself instead of making a scene.

Equally both as bad, I feel sorry for people sitting around them on the plane who will have to keep hearing them ranting at each other.

Seems like you are as dramatic as she is.
Enjoy your holiday.

I was on your side OP but you've spent your entire very busy 3 hours shift on Mumsnet?

I think you're cutting it tight. Are you doing it on purpose to prove a point?

I think you’re just as performative as your friend is 🤣

I love a good minute-by-minute unfolding saga on MN though. It’s more dramatic than the Eastenders Christmas special!

Hope you’ve managed to get all your work done on your super busy morning (in between your MN updates and reading your 100+ messages from your friend.

Looking forward to the upcoming updates of how you had to leave work late, how you got stuck in lots of traffic, how you got locked in a toilet and had to be rescued and you didn’t know if you’d make it to the airport in time etc etc etc - followed by letting us know how your hysterical friend had collapsed at the gate because the trauma of waiting for you and not knowing if you’d turn up or not was too much for her and so you went on holiday alone and had a great time!