Page 12 | To ask about totally inappropriate behaviour at wedding?

Notallthatx · 2026-07-06T11:50:50+00:00

Was at a seemingly lovely wedding at the weekend. Beautiful setting and lovely ceremony. One of my friends was chief bridesmaid and she had put so much effort into making the day perfect for the happy couple. But she started to drink a lot after the ceremony and by the end of dinner she was very tipsy and all over the singer from the wedding band. They had been playing some acoustic songs throughout the day and she kept making requests. It was obvious she fancied him. Later on, one of the other guys from the band was lovely and asked if I had seen their singer because they were setting up for their evening set. I mentioned that my friend was also missing so went to look for them together. We joked that maybe they had eloped or something. But nothing prepared me for what I was about to witness. Behind the outdoor toilets, my friend was down on her knees giving the singer from the band oral. I was mortified and the other guy from the band told me his friend had done this a few times. We are not even sure if they seen us and I’ve been too embarrassed to bring it up with my friend. On the up side, the other guy from the band was really sweet and we danced a bit later that night and swapped numbers. What is the craziest thing you’ve ever witnessed at a wedding?

Jane143 · 07/07/2026 07:58

Delladuck · 06/07/2026 19:22

Bride was 5'2 and a size 2 (ish)
Groom was 6'3 and a large bloke
I was standing on a balcony,looking down and saw him walk up to the bride,say something to her and turn to walk away
She ran up the garden and punched him so hard he went flying backwards
She walked away with a smirk on her face

At the same wedding a bloke who was dressed and smelt like a tramp was strutting around like he was someone
Her family where all fawning over him,it was clear who was the golden child in that family

A few days later,he was arrested for viewing 'child images' online
The whole family have stood by him saying he's innocent and 'set up'

Her ds was there acting like a thug (he would have been about 10 years old) while his mother and her family ignored him-he ended up in prison for murder years later

She threw a tantrum because not enough people where watching them have their first dance-she laid on the floor and screamed then chased us through the hotel to throw cupcakes at us as we went to leave

The food was unbelievably stale-nobody could eat it

The couple are still together,she's a controlling cow who has chased all his friends away and he's too scared to walk away and leave their child with her (even though he'd get 50/50,he's too scared of her)

At my brothers wedding my mother threw tantrum after tantrum because none of it was going her way

She hadn't paid a penny but she's a narcissist so I knew she'd do her best to ruin it

Shed had no say in things like the dress ('the bride looks a right state'),the food ('foul'),she'd had no say in the guest list ('I wanted my sisters here!' we where nc with them at the time as she'd fallen out with them) told me i looked 'fucking awful' and 'you'd better not have a drink' (she thinks women shouldnt drink booze) and sly digs at everything the b&g had chosen

Then a guest had a falling out with the best man and they had a punch up

I was just glad I'd fucked off home by that point

Sounds like Eastenders episode!

Original poster

Notallthatx · 07/07/2026 08:00

Radicalrach · 07/07/2026 06:21

You’re the type of person to start a thread on AIBU about your “totally inappropriate” “good friend” desperately trying (in vain) to get posters to basically bad mouth her.

He will soon enough see through you.

How old are you?

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My goodness, such vitriol to someone you do not know. Like how you deliberately pulled those quotes out of context to try and distort the intention.

He will only see a really lovely person and probably why we hit it off. We have a date planned now for this Friday and I’m sure it will go well. There is even talk of my friend and his, the singer joining us. I’m 32.

OP posts:

Radicalrach · 07/07/2026 08:38

Notallthatx · 07/07/2026 08:00

My goodness, such vitriol to someone you do not know. Like how you deliberately pulled those quotes out of context to try and distort the intention.

He will only see a really lovely person and probably why we hit it off. We have a date planned now for this Friday and I’m sure it will go well. There is even talk of my friend and his, the singer joining us. I’m 32.

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Says you 😆

the person who starts a thread about thinking their “good friend” and been “totally inappropriate” and hates fact that most of us tell you that you’re being daft and judgey. And desperately try to change our minds so we bitch about your “good friend”!!

Original poster

Notallthatx · 07/07/2026 09:07

Radicalrach · 07/07/2026 08:38

Says you 😆

the person who starts a thread about thinking their “good friend” and been “totally inappropriate” and hates fact that most of us tell you that you’re being daft and judgey. And desperately try to change our minds so we bitch about your “good friend”!!

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Not sure if you’re aware but a person can be a good friend and engage in inappropriate behaviour. Happens all the time and being a good friend doesn’t provide an exemption.

If you’re comfortable with getting on your knees and blowing a guy in broad daylight at a wedding then that’s your decision and standard. No need to be nasty because I think that’s highly inappropriate behaviour.

OP posts:

CosySocksBasket · 07/07/2026 09:15

At our wedding one of the ushers went off with one of our friends and then also spent the night with her. This usher was going through a messy divorce and was in a relationship with the woman he cheated on his wife with. The next morning at breakfast he was gushing about finding his true love….in front of our friend who he’d just spent the night with. She didn’t know about any of it. He’s since married the OW and had kids with her so hoping he’s changed his ways.

HoppingPavlova · 07/07/2026 09:17

Yeah, it’s completely inappropriate. But here, you will get everyone telling you how cool she is, and how all women should be doing this as some sort of act of liberation, and what’s wrong with you if you don’t. So, take what you want from that. I’m sticking with completely inappropriate. If that had of been a woman, or man, at my wedding, would have been the last I had anything to do with them as I view it as inappropriate and disrespectful.

Original poster

Notallthatx · 07/07/2026 09:28

HoppingPavlova · 07/07/2026 09:17

Yeah, it’s completely inappropriate. But here, you will get everyone telling you how cool she is, and how all women should be doing this as some sort of act of liberation, and what’s wrong with you if you don’t. So, take what you want from that. I’m sticking with completely inappropriate. If that had of been a woman, or man, at my wedding, would have been the last I had anything to do with them as I view it as inappropriate and disrespectful.

Thanks for understanding and totally agree.

OP posts:

Maybeinameeting · 07/07/2026 10:43

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

CoffeeCantata · 07/07/2026 10:58

HoppingPavlova · 07/07/2026 09:17

Yeah, it’s completely inappropriate. But here, you will get everyone telling you how cool she is, and how all women should be doing this as some sort of act of liberation, and what’s wrong with you if you don’t. So, take what you want from that. I’m sticking with completely inappropriate. If that had of been a woman, or man, at my wedding, would have been the last I had anything to do with them as I view it as inappropriate and disrespectful.

Another 'agree' for this.

I've only ever been to sedate, old-fashioned weddings but I've read so much on MN about uncouth and selfish behaviour on someone else's special day.

It's always 'me, me, me'. Er - no - the wedding isn't about you!! Behave for a couple of hours, if you possibly can. Make an assignation for another date.

Ballotine · 07/07/2026 10:58

HoppingPavlova · 07/07/2026 09:17

Yeah, it’s completely inappropriate. But here, you will get everyone telling you how cool she is, and how all women should be doing this as some sort of act of liberation, and what’s wrong with you if you don’t. So, take what you want from that. I’m sticking with completely inappropriate. If that had of been a woman, or man, at my wedding, would have been the last I had anything to do with them as I view it as inappropriate and disrespectful.

I don’t think it’s particularly cool or ‘liberated’ (whatever you might mean by that), just the kind of ordinary enough, untidy, potentially mildly regrettable thing someone might do when drunk and tired and finally off-duty after a long day. I do, however, think it’s hilarious that you would cut off a good friend for having sex in the grounds at your wedding.

thegrandoleduchess · 07/07/2026 11:14

@Ballotine " just the kind of ordinary enough, untidy, potentially mildly regrettable thing someone might do when drunk and tired and finally off-duty after a long day."

What a load of old codswallop.

Some people in that situation go and have a lie down and/or watch TV.

If they are that drunk and tired where would they get the energy from to mess about?

"I do, however, think it’s hilarious that you would cut off a good friend for having sex in the grounds at your wedding."

People can "cut off" other people for any reason they like. Nothing "hilarious" about it.

KilkennyCats · 07/07/2026 11:19

The band member wasn’t “finally off duty after a long day”.
He was due back on stage for another set! Probably had someone else lined up for when he was actually off duty.

CoffeeCantata · 07/07/2026 11:20

Ballotine · 07/07/2026 10:58

I don’t think it’s particularly cool or ‘liberated’ (whatever you might mean by that), just the kind of ordinary enough, untidy, potentially mildly regrettable thing someone might do when drunk and tired and finally off-duty after a long day. I do, however, think it’s hilarious that you would cut off a good friend for having sex in the grounds at your wedding.

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I'm trying hard to imagine one of my 'good friends' having sex in the grounds at a wedding.

Call me old-fashioned, prim, pearl-clutchy etc...but I never had THAT sort of friend!!!😂 If they had done that, I'd be looking askance at them for seflishness, lack of self-control, self-centredness and basically, dreadful taste.

Judgemental much? You betcha, and proud.

CoffeeCantata · 07/07/2026 11:20

Ballotine · 07/07/2026 10:58

I don’t think it’s particularly cool or ‘liberated’ (whatever you might mean by that), just the kind of ordinary enough, untidy, potentially mildly regrettable thing someone might do when drunk and tired and finally off-duty after a long day. I do, however, think it’s hilarious that you would cut off a good friend for having sex in the grounds at your wedding.

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I'm trying hard to imagine one of my 'good friends' having sex in the grounds at a wedding.

Call me old-fashioned, prim, pearl-clutchy etc...but I never had THAT sort of friend!!!😂 If they had done that, I'd be looking askance at them for seflishness, lack of self-control, self-centredness and basically, dreadful taste.

Judgemental much? You betcha, and proud.

CoffeeCantata · 07/07/2026 11:20

Ballotine · 07/07/2026 10:58

I don’t think it’s particularly cool or ‘liberated’ (whatever you might mean by that), just the kind of ordinary enough, untidy, potentially mildly regrettable thing someone might do when drunk and tired and finally off-duty after a long day. I do, however, think it’s hilarious that you would cut off a good friend for having sex in the grounds at your wedding.

Show quote history

I'm trying hard to imagine one of my 'good friends' having sex in the grounds at a wedding.

Call me old-fashioned, prim, pearl-clutchy etc...but I never had THAT sort of friend!!!😂 If they had done that, I'd be looking askance at them for seflishness, lack of self-control, self-centredness and basically, dreadful taste.

Judgemental much? You betcha, and proud.

CoffeeCantata · 07/07/2026 11:21

Ballotine · 07/07/2026 10:58

I don’t think it’s particularly cool or ‘liberated’ (whatever you might mean by that), just the kind of ordinary enough, untidy, potentially mildly regrettable thing someone might do when drunk and tired and finally off-duty after a long day. I do, however, think it’s hilarious that you would cut off a good friend for having sex in the grounds at your wedding.

Show quote history

I'm trying hard to imagine one of my 'good friends' having sex in the grounds at a wedding.

Call me old-fashioned, prim, pearl-clutchy etc...but I never had THAT sort of friend!!!😂 If they had done that, I'd be looking askance at them for seflishness, lack of self-control, self-centredness and basically, dreadful taste.

Judgemental much? You betcha, and proud.

Ballotine · 07/07/2026 11:26

CoffeeCantata · 07/07/2026 11:20

I'm trying hard to imagine one of my 'good friends' having sex in the grounds at a wedding.

Call me old-fashioned, prim, pearl-clutchy etc...but I never had THAT sort of friend!!!😂 If they had done that, I'd be looking askance at them for seflishness, lack of self-control, self-centredness and basically, dreadful taste.

Judgemental much? You betcha, and proud.

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Whereas I don’t know that any of my good friends have, because I wasn’t going searching for them after they went missing with the wedding band singer, but I’d be surprised if some hadn’t. I mean, lots of people used to get up to far more extreme stuff at university balls, and while I never went to any of the Piers Gaveston Society balls or events, a fair few people I know did.

Sartre · 07/07/2026 11:32

Agree that it’s gross OP. Mumsnet is a weird environment and thread outcomes can really surprise you, this one has for me. Was she not staying overnight as a bridesmaid in the hotel? If so, why not invite him back there later on? I think it’s pretty gross to take a member of the band behind the bike sheds so to speak for a quick BJ, not even like they were locked in a cubicle! Literally anyone could have found them, as you did… As you say as well, at least a child didn’t find them. It’s grim behaviour.

thegrandoleduchess · 07/07/2026 11:35

@Ballotine "lots of people used to get up to far more extreme stuff at university balls"

Maybe, I never went to any so I don't know.

But a Uni Ball isn't a special celebration of someone's new life with their chosen Life Partner, it's not personal. It's well, just a Ball and anyone can go if they buy a ticket.

Ballotine · 07/07/2026 11:44

thegrandoleduchess · 07/07/2026 11:35

@Ballotine "lots of people used to get up to far more extreme stuff at university balls"

Maybe, I never went to any so I don't know.

But a Uni Ball isn't a special celebration of someone's new life with their chosen Life Partner, it's not personal. It's well, just a Ball and anyone can go if they buy a ticket.

And a wedding is just a party if you’re not the bride or groom.

We’ve all gone to lots and lots of them. In one summer (2005?) , I think I went to eight weddings.

They’re often a very long day, and people get drunk from too much hanging around with drink and insufficient canapés waiting for the wedding party to take photographs between the ceremony and the meal. By the end of dinner, a lot of people are the worse for wear so you get ‘post-nightclub 3 am’ behaviour at about 8 o’clock in broad daylight.

The OP’s friend, as chief bridesmaid, had also possibly been up since the crack of dawn. There’s a current thread from a bridesmaid bemoaning having to be up at 6.30 for the first makeup slot at 7 am. Tiredness and drink don’t always mean the choices you’d tell your granny about

TFImBackIn · 07/07/2026 11:48

Moveoverdarlin · 06/07/2026 21:56

It’s a turn-on. It’s fun. It’s naughty. Women like that thrill just as much as men. Well some do. A lot of the Emily Bishop types on here seem to only have sex in their M&S nighties in the confines of their 1940s bedrooms.

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Yes but you never ever hear of a man going down on a woman in a situation like this, where there's nothing in it for him. You don't have to be Emily Bishop to think sex acts should be reciprocal.

Ballotine · 07/07/2026 11:51

TFImBackIn · 07/07/2026 11:48

Yes but you never ever hear of a man going down on a woman in a situation like this, where there's nothing in it for him. You don't have to be Emily Bishop to think sex acts should be reciprocal.

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Well, we have no idea what might have happened next had the OP and the other band member not bustled around the back of the Portaloos.

LeedsLoiner · 07/07/2026 11:55

Comtesse · 06/07/2026 15:13

One of the female guests got smashed and started a huge screaming row with her now ex after banging on lots of hotel doors at 5am. Taken away in handcuffs at 6am. That was quite the scandal….

Given the confusion around "getting a ride on a dock" can you clear up what sort of "banging" was going on ? 😁

thegrandoleduchess · 07/07/2026 11:56

@Ballotine "And a wedding is just a party if you’re not the bride or groom."

I disagree.

Guests are there to support the bride and groom and to make sure they have a happy day.

Weddings have become far too involved, stressful, expensive, long-winded, tiring and complicated because the Wedding Industry just wants to make money and people want to outdo each other.
This causes some people to loose sight of what a wedding is really all about.

According to figures I've found, the average cost of a wedding UK is £20,000, I had to sit down when I read that.😮

LeedsLoiner · 07/07/2026 11:58

Ballotine · 06/07/2026 15:31

I don't think 'classy' sex is a thing. I once had sex in a bunker on a golf course beside a hotel I was attending a wedding at. I mean, I don't recommend it...

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I trust that you raked it afterwards... care of the course and all that...