I am also thinking of changing my will

[Changedname12345]

I have 2 adult DC 1 far away in another country the other relatively nearby. I had an accident that has immobilised me for the next few months. I have organised the main help that I need to stay at home but I am feeling very isolated. My nearby DC has not visited me or helped me. I am very hurt. More recently I have got abusive and offensive emails from the nearby one. I have lovely supportive emails from the 1 faraway. I am very hurt. WIBU to change my will to remove the nearby 1? I love both DC very much and do a lot for them. But this feels like an unforgivable situation.

Never a truer word was spoken

you were right to diagnose. I think cptsd is a psychological disorder. Combine that with an in injury that makes you disabled for 3 months. I’m not in good way. But will make sure my lovely son is not affected by that.

I am sure it is true in many cases.

The child who lives further away is often the loving child, because they live far away from the parent, see them very occasionally and therefore don’t need to handle the stress and drama that comes with having a difficult parent. They are therefore very much the golden child.

And because the parent doesn’t seem them often, they are on their best behaviour when they do visit.

The child nearby is the one who often has to deal with the stress and drama from such a parent, whilst also trying to maintain their own life and perhaps their own family and that’s putting aside whether the parent has any caring needs or support.

So if anything, it’s the child who lives nearby that deserves it all!

I am not changing my bloody will..

Do you have any friends or social support close by, @Changedname12345? You seem wildly inconsistent. If this thread is for real, I hope you're not completely alone.

There is literally no stress or drama. I don’t see either of them very often. It is just that i have had a badly broken ankle. 4 hour surgery lots of metal plates. Not able to put weight on it for months. Anyhow!

I am absolutely and completely alone. I had a friend brought me home from hospital day after serious surgery. I have a lovely brother and sil but sil had serious health issues at same time. I have been completely on my own. I have ankle scooters upstairs and down. I can deal. Just eats great it just brings me what i need.

where is the inconsistency?

Ok, so you're alone. Are you on a lot of pain meds? Do you have a history of psychological issues - you're being wildly inconsistent in your replies.

You have had a traumatic experience, you're alone. You're angry your children aren't there, there's clearly some bad blood with your son, he's sending abusive emails, you're blocking him then unblocking him. That's no way for adults to behave. If your replies on here are representative of your general style of communication, I can understand why he's not there.

There's no shame in hiring in some temporary help. There are no prizes at the end of the day for stoicism that's to your own detriment.

Sorry to hear you're in pain OP. I think that's really bad of your son not to help in your hour of need, even if you're not particularly close to a parent I definitely think you should help family if you can.
I wouldn't write him out of the will, maybe see if you can fix the relationship to see if you can form a closer bond in the future and hire in help to help for now. Hope you feel better soon..

You're on your own, very isolated, what your son did is unforgivable. You're blocking, you're unblocking. It's forgivable. You're changing your will, you're not changing your will. You're incapacitated, you're not incapacitated. You're flat on your back, you can manage with ankle scooters. You're lashing out a posters who are telling you about the burden of being a carer (trying to show you empathy). You're awful to a poster who asks if you have a personality disorder and then tell her she was right to diagnose...

Honestly, I hope this is pain and fright and meds and you're not like this all the time.

Just how strong are your pain meds? Because you are all over the place. Go to sleep and see how things are in the morning, hopefully DC has unblocked you.

Ah OP, it sounds really tough for you. It’s okay to get angry and react when someone especially your DC is abusive towards you.
I am glad that you are feeling better, a bit of help would go a long way from him so you’re not entirely wrong. Is there any services you can access while you are not well? Even a neighbour.
Leave DS for a few days.

If you're story is true yes you should apologize but what should give him a pass for his rude behaviour as well and now he's your "wee adult son" comes across as a spoilt petulant beat tbh and the whole dynamic is weird.

He wouldn't call because he doesn't do the whole, only Whatsapp and now email after blocked each other, some serious level of immaturity or trauma going on. And why is your other child who is abroad sending emails? Should he or she be calling his or her mother, video calls etc, what's with the emails?

the normal thing to do if someone gives you excuses is to say yeah its ok dont worry im fine. and then you go cry in private about how your kid arent there for you. but you chose to do that thing...that thing certain parents do... where you say oh no its fine but I cant deal with you and im going to be the victim now and shut off our conversation because poor little old me cant cope with the 'abuse'. youre tough enough to be fit healthy play golf etc. youre tough enough to start immediately planning to cut him out of you will. you dont just say 'my son and I have a terrible relationship and im so sad about it'...nope. you immediately start comparing him to his brother and saying he is the problem. I feel for your son. he's no doubt been the perp and you the victim for years...shame you cant remember what it is you did to make him feel like he doesnt want to come and see his own mother when shes incapacitated.

There is loads of people that would help me. I just want my son to unblock me. I have taken the blame. So that’s good.

as far as many of the other comments - it is very difficult to move. Yes I’m wizzing about on ankle scooters. I got to think twice before moving anywhere. So sorry if that is inconsistent.

you have no clue. Obviously you have your own issues. Just go deal with those.

NI people call everything wee.

Wow

Yes wow. Nothing you said applies to me. Must just apply to you. Start your own thread.

Ditto!
Is this a gender thing? It seems many sons just bow out especially when parents become elderly.

OP, rather than worrying about your will. Can you use the inheritance to improve your own circumstances and care?

Again, if this an example of your communication style, I think it's becoming obvious why you are alone. And that's what I mean about the inconsistency. One minute you're wanting to smooth everything over and the next you're being unforgivably rude to strangers trying to offer you an ear at a moment you obviously need it.

Being unforgiveable rude to you???

When???