I am also thinking of changing my will

[Changedname12345]

I have 2 adult DC 1 far away in another country the other relatively nearby. I had an accident that has immobilised me for the next few months. I have organised the main help that I need to stay at home but I am feeling very isolated. My nearby DC has not visited me or helped me. I am very hurt. More recently I have got abusive and offensive emails from the nearby one. I have lovely supportive emails from the 1 faraway. I am very hurt. WIBU to change my will to remove the nearby 1? I love both DC very much and do a lot for them. But this feels like an unforgivable situation.

You know nothing about my finances Janet.

But thank you to any supportive posters and those that were less supportive have been useful as well.

I have sent an apologetic message to my son in the hope that we can get back on track and put this behind us. I have taken on board some advice from here and will try to be less reactionary even in very difficult circumstances.

Now I am really gone. x

Son is 32.

And I am in agony.

I absolutely know I can manage.

Spend some of your 20m on therapy and private treatment to help your pain levels

I am absolutely going to focus on using my physical strength to get up the bloody stairs. So F off. Being madly rich isn’t everything :-)

Suddenly being immobilised is difficult for anyone.

You’re a nasty person. I will do what I need.

Blocking someone is childish- just don’t look at the messages and turn your phone onto silent until you’re ready to read them.

It can be. You can afford to have a stairlift fitted. Or even a lift - small ones exist now. There maybe other equipment to help. And private medicine would give you fast access to any appropriate pain treatments out there.

This. Excellent reply. I have endured many years of being on an expected 'caring rota' without ever being asked how I felt. I loved that parent dearly. Now the other is ailing. I absolutely hate the thought of yet another person being needy. I'm not an unkind person but I'm empathied out. I now hate being a carer.

I’ve already accepted that. It’s something that I got from this thread.. I hate that I have upset my adult child. I have apologised properly to him. I hate to have upset him.

I’m Michael…

Would love to hear the sons version of this story.

None of this is relevant

Im not. I cared for my father who had dementia for two years. It was 24/7 for some of that time.

Im currently helping my brother temporarily who has had an amputation until he gets a prothesis.

I’m sure you will make it up. It’s hard when you’re in a lot of pain- your tolerance for everything is diminished.

I hope you recover quickly, and manage to sort things out 💐.

None of this mirrors my situation. But I wish you well. Xx

Firstly I would get some help in. I found a great carer for my husband on carers.com. Alternatively you may even be eligible for free NHS care for a few weeks. Contact your GP surgery or the hospital where you had treatment.
Secondly I wouldn't blame you in the slightest if you changed your will. See what happens after your message. If you do you need to write a letter to your son explaining your actions, might help with any backlash. I suspect he's concerned may be expected to provide help when his sibling is far away. Hope you're feeling better soon.

I know. But you called me nasty.

Im.not.

What I am is not in pain. I can see that your money can be used to try and make your life easier, and maybe a little less painful.

Dear god. I am 65. I am fit and healthy. I do not need care. I am temporarily immobilised with ankle injury and serious operation for that. I am absolutely sure my kids will help. In any case I plan to get back out running golfing swimming cycling. I am not in grave yet.

The poster who suggested you purchase care whilst you're in need of it has a point. Many people of wealth are miserly in life and expect everyone to run around after them with the prospect of a possible inheritance being dangled. If you need care, and have the funds, get care. If you want a good relationship with both of your children, stop assuming that because one lives closer that they are obliged to do things the other will not.

An ankle injury is hardly flat on your back immobilised. You sound extremely dramatic, keep changing your mind all the time. Maybe have a think why your DS is acting this way…

@Guidanceplease20 @Madreamigajefa2 I am absolutely able to cope on my own thank god. When I can’t I will deal with that. It’s not to do with money it is to do with independence’. Maybe you don’t understand that.

Ankle injuries vary. If you have broken all 3 ankle bones with one completely in smithereens. It’s not only painful but difficult to fix. I was lucky they are apparently able to fix it. It will take 18 months.