I am also thinking of changing my will

[Changedname12345]

I have 2 adult DC 1 far away in another country the other relatively nearby. I had an accident that has immobilised me for the next few months. I have organised the main help that I need to stay at home but I am feeling very isolated. My nearby DC has not visited me or helped me. I am very hurt. More recently I have got abusive and offensive emails from the nearby one. I have lovely supportive emails from the 1 faraway. I am very hurt. WIBU to change my will to remove the nearby 1? I love both DC very much and do a lot for them. But this feels like an unforgivable situation.

4 hour operation. Which was never going to be as successful as it was. I’m glad you are an expert though

This thread just makes me prouder of my brother. Thank you for that.

The gangrene in his heel, the operation to amputate, the adjustment to a wheelchair, 6 weeks in hospital away from his home town, living downstairs completely at the moment while he awaits prosthetic appointments, phantom feelings.

Never once has he even come close to speaking to me as you have spoken to people tonight on here.

I am so pleased for you and your brother. Xx

And yes. I will recover. Please god. Sometime.

You’ve got multi millions in the bank and you’re not using it on the best care available but sitting here being pissy to strangers on Mumsnet?

How’s that working out for you then?

I will just do my best to survive and be independent. I’ve bought in ankle scooters. They’re like brilliant. I can do what I need. I’m quite independent.

You sound like my neighbour, who often uses cutting her son out of her will as a form of control. The one who lives on the other side of the world is perfect, the one who lives nearby is of course a problem and she often tells me that she’ll just cut him out of her will whenever he’s done something that’s annoyed her.

Considering she’s fallen out with all her other neighbours (we’re newish to the street so no drama with us), and is very much a character, I highly doubt she’s innocent in all this.

If you didn’t mention the broken ankle, I would actually think you’re her. But that has shown me I highly doubt your son is the one who has overreacted here.

Only thing bothers me is that I’ve upset my wee adult son. That’s really were this started. Nice thing is that this thread encouraged me to contact him and properly apologise. So that’s good. I might update when he gets back to me. But I feel this thread has helped me.

I am really not like your neighbour.

I have absolutely the best care available and I will be fine.

I never used cutting people your my will as a thing. I never would

I used it in this thread. I found this thread very helpful. I have contacted my son.

If I had 20 million I'd be paying for hired help but I guess we are all different. I live in a very desirable village in a extremely expensive area but I'd struggle to have 20 million tied up one property. Spend your money making your life easier or it going to the tax man surely?

Also one sure way to piss off my kids, if wanted to do so, would be to blow the estate and piss my money up the wall. Win win

Get a stairlift fitted and hire or buy a powerchair to get around your mansion. There’s so many products on the market to help you whilst in recovery and you’re not short of a bob or two to indulge in these. Spend time researching rather than demanding your son’s attention for a broken ankle.

If you’re less demanding of his time he’ll likely want to visit and help you more. And no! Never remove a child from your Will. That’s vindictive and hurtful. Remember you brought your children into the world at least have the decency to always treat them equally. They don’t owe you anything, it’s not a reciprocal relationship.

You have literally no clue what you are talking about

You’ve literally started a thread about doing that very thing…

You also have no clue. I have what I need. Ankle Scooters upstairs and down are what I need. Don’t need bloody stair lift. But thank you.

It’s clear from the way you’re speaking to people here that you are the unreasonable one. Benefit of the doubt – you’re in pain or dosed up on painkillers and that’s what’s making you behave this way.

If you have what you need why are you moaning about your DC and potentially cutting him out of your Will?

You don’t owe them anything but equally they don’t owe you anything either.
Neither are around you or attentive.
Our children are only on loan to us, some stay back but it’s not guaranteed.
The aggressive email is unacceptable. I wouldn’t make any rash decisions yet, could you sell your home and pay for the best care. Then you can get even with both of them.

I hope you will recover from your operation and get some help.

I am so sorry your relationship with your son is difficult and hope you will find some way forward.

And at the end of the day, who you leave your money to, is your business.

and yes. It is my fault. It is how I started this day. Very depressed. Feeling madly bad about my son and all he had said. I started this thread and I changed my mind. Does that mean I’ve a ‘personality disorder’ as pp said? No it means I listen to people and accept that I am not perfect or even nearly. It has actually helped me I really can resolve this with my son. I never change my will the was just a thread title based on someone else’s title. You have all helped me. In my absolutely horrendous circumstances that I will deal with.

"If I were as rich as you I could afford to buy some manners"

Wisdom from a Disney film 🤣 Good night OP, I hope your son forgives you and you feel better tomorrow. But If you usually behave like this when you're not in pain/dosed up to the eyeballs, really do consider getting some MH support. I wasn't taking a pop shot by asking if you have a PD. I was asking because I have experience of people who do

Change your will my friend, why reward abuse. He is an adult. Your will is your life’s work and it’s a gift. I can only advise as me, if I was me, I would give my gift to the loving and deserving child, I would not reward abuse.

Good luck with building bridges with your son. I suggest you start telling him how well you’re coping using your knee scooters etc… rather than filling his head with your woes. He may pop round if you’re upbeat.