To be annoyed at disruption in a theatre show?

[shouldwejust]

I appreciate that this is a nuanced topic, and that there possibly isn’t a right answer.

Recently I went to watch a show in the theatre that I had been looking forward to for months. The tickets were my birthday present and something I can’t usually afford, so definitely a one off treat.

Throughout the whole show, a man who had severe disabilities was shouting out and yelling. He didn’t stop at all and continuously made very loud and disruptive noises.

It completely took me out of the show, meant I struggled to concentrate and was just annoyed!

I fully appreciate that everyone in society has a right to enjoy things, and perhaps this man was looking forward to the show just as much as me! But, I don’t think that it’s fair that he disrupted the show for the entire rest of the audience who had also paid a lot to be there.

I don’t know what the solution is to be perfectly honest. That his carer removed him when he was being disruptive? That he attended one of the “autism friendly” screenings that are expected to have more disruption?

When I said this to my partner he was shocked and said that basically we should just accept that our show was ruined for his enjoyment, as that is being inclusive. I don’t feel that inclusivity should come at the cost of everyone else?

I appreciate that I may be told I am being unreasonable here but I’d like to hear other people’s opinions here

I’d be furious if there was someone without control of themselves ruining what I paid for with my hard earned money. I don’t want raving drunk people in the theatre either. Theatre audiences will dwindle to nothing if they are rowdy. Absurd. Where’s the respect for the arts and the respect for everyone who has paid to see something in peace? What an incredibly selfish entitled thing to do, to disrupt people’s experience and not just simple avoid doing so!

But what is your solution to this if you think OP is so awful?

I'm surprised more comments haven't mentioned the performers. It would have been completely understandable if it had affected their performance. They're literally trying to stay in character, and remember hours of lines. It's amazing someone shouting throughout the performance didn't completely distract them and cause them to slip up. There are also more and more theatre performances now featuring disabled and autistic performers who are even more likely to be thrown by something like this.

I think its amazing theatre is becoming more Inclusive (both for audiences and performers) but we have to work on solutions (maybe more relaxed performances?) and there still needs to be boundaries.

Everyone else here can still do those things though.

Why would you not be able to do something because a disabled person is there ?

This is why they have the autism friendly shows. I don’t blame you for being angry, I’d have been absolutely raging as well. I understand it wasn’t his fault but his carers were wrong for not realising that this man’s rights to enjoy the show didn’t override the rights of everyone else to enjoy the show.

If your child was punched at school by someone with behavioural difficulties, would he just accept it?

It's all very well telling the OP to ask for a refund, but that's not a solution that works at scale. Suppose everyone else in the audience who was affected followed the same advice? The theatre could lose most of the night's takings.

A few runs like that, and then suddenly theatres would find a way to avoid selling tickets to people with any kind of disability. So let's be careful what we wish for.

I think the answer is more relaxed performances, but are they viable to run?

Maybe we should just lock away
daft exaggeration weakens your argument

all people with disabilities
You can't lump together all disabilities. Each one, for each person, is different.

so we don’t ruin the enjoyment of people lucky enough to be born without any?
If a person's disability means they make loud and disruptive noises throughout a theatre performance, they are not just ruining it for non-disabled people, they are also ruining it for people with various other disabilities, such as wheelchair users who don't have a learning disability, blind or partially sighted people who rely on listening more, partially deaf people who can't cope with ongoing background noises, people with autism who can't cope with sudden loud noises, etc. etc.

Someone who makes continual loud noises should not be in a standard theatre performance. It really is that simple.

I’d want my money back

There's no shame in asking for disabled people to be removed from places if they bother you?

What if someone who knows they have epilepsy has a fit in front of you and requires medical attention? Would you be pissed off with them for daring to set foot out of the house too? Someone with a service dog shouldn't be allowed anywhere in case someone else has allergies? Someone in a wheelchair in case they are too slow for you? Where does it end if you're advocating for that?

I believe in inclusivity, to an extent. I love hiking. Some of the trickier trails have sections that are completely undoable by people who are not fit and able-bodied. Should ramps/lifts be installed there? Of course not. Back in school, we had a rugby team that did competitions nationwide. Should that team be open to anyone who wants to join even if they lack the ability? No, it shouldn't.

It's unfortunate but not all places and experiences in life are accessible to everyone. Like PP said, there are some shows which are friendlier to people with such disabilities. That's inclusivity and something that should be applauded.

I think that if everyone asked for a refund it would pass on a very valid message to the theatre tbh

There's a huge difference between thinking a person with disabilities that will affect a large section of the audience shouldn't attend the theatre and thinking people with disabilities should be locked up.
Disability advocates need to request more relaxed showings if there aren't enough and look for events where shouting out won't detrimentally affect too many people.

I appreciate people suggesting a refund, but as it was a gift it wouldn’t be me who got the refund anyway! I also don’t really think that’s the point, I was really looking forward to a show I probably won’t get much chance to see again, so money back wouldn’t really help :/

I get it. I went to see Derren Brown a few years ago and there was a guy making lots of noises throughout. Derren had to stop the show and ask them to leave as he couldn’t concentrate and it was messing things up.
I’ve also experienced it at a musical. Similar sort of thing, lots of noise. There was a really poignant, silent suicide scene and the atmosphere was ruined.

Just to add that this is a show with ‘relaxed performances’ (I just checked as well!) so there definitely are other options out there that would be more suitable so that everyone can enjoy the show

I have managed arts venues and theatres for over 20 years. Not every venue or production sadly can offer "relaxed performances" which is the correct terminology. They are becoming more frequent but I wouldn't say that are common by any stretch.

These often have reduced lighting effects, house lights on half, so that people with assorted disabilities who can't cope with bright lights, louder noises, or make involuntary outbursts can attend without carers worrying about disturbing other patrons.

As you say relaxed performances were available, this patron and their carer(s) really should have booked for one of those. Under these circumstances, you should ask for, and receive, a refund.

Don't be obtuse. People will not be willing to shell out money on theatre tickets if they had highly disruptive experiences like OP's before. So yes, it does stop other people eventually

I meant if it was me I’d ask for a refund. I’d email the theatre and tell them the performance was ruined and could they explain their policy on this. What about the cast? Frustrating for them

To use your examples, a person having a seizure would clearly leave the show or would be taken to receive medical treatment etc. and if a person with allergies was next to a service dog then they would 100% ask to be moved so they could enjoy the show as much as the person with the disability 🤷🏻‍♀️

Your responses are histrionic. Try to state your case without resorting to hyperbole and you’ll see you don’t have a case, which is why you’re being histrionic instead.

This is one of those threads where the OP will dismiss any and all reasonable solutions. the only answer acceptable to them is that people with a disability should be excluded if they are unable to act like people without a disability.

then it is on all of us to request more of these performances, surely? Potentially, if audience members request refunds, theatres will be keener than ever to offer relaxed performances.
Having said that, I love a weekday matinee and at my local theatre it is hard to find one of those that is'nt a production with adaptations for people with "learning disabilities or autism( heightened house lights, lower sound volumes, and dedicated chill-out/quiet spaces) and chilled performances for those with dementia or neurodiverse needs, as well as babes in arms"
or BSL interpreted. So far each of these I have attended have still been most enjoyable.
Are you sure you didn't inadvertently book an adapted production?

My neighbour and friend has a severely disabled autistic son who is 22.
She is an excellent parent.
Difference is between her and you, she knows what is appropriate for all concerned and what is and isn’t acceptable for all concerned, not just her son.
Perhaps it’s not everyone else who is awful, as you have stated on here.
It would help if you checked your attitude.

Thank you for this, it clearly wasn’t just me who was bothered as as you point out it would disrupt others with different disabilities too. So why is inclusivity the benefit of one person to the detriment of all others?

But where does it end the opposite way too? How much noise in this example would be acceptable before the person should be removed?