How can I divide my estate fairly between daughters and grandchildren?

[Ilikesundays]

Would really appreciate your views! I’m in my 80s and have three dds and 7 gcs. All are over 20. Two dds are married: one has 3 DCs and one has 4. Youngest dd is unmarried and has no children. I want to make my will and be fair to all of them. I was thinking of leaving all my property (f/h house, no mortgage in London + fairly substantial savings) to the gcs + the unmarried dd and nothing to the two married DDs. But on reflection this seems very harsh and unfair to them . How would you manage it? They are all working, bar two gcs who are still studying p/g.

This! I don’t understand people who leave money to grandchildren, surely by splitting it equally between your own children they will then leave it to their children anyway?

Dear heavens, why would you leave nothing to two daughters? How would you have felt if your mother had done that to you?

In my family people split their estates equally between their children, nothing to great/ grandchildren. It's the only way to be fair and not cause resentment.

You need to completely disregard the financial situations of your children. People can lose jobs or become ill for example and lose their well-off lifestyles. Or people who might not own a home by middle-age because they were lazy and pissed around their whole life shouldn't be rewarded for their lack of effort. Or people's marriages can break down causing changes in financial circumstances. Just examples of what can happen.

For that type of reason do an equal split between your 3 daughters and let them decide if they want to give any to their own children. Otherwise you could be causing all sorts of problems.

People can become very angry and resentful if they perceive even the tiniest bit of favouritism in a Will, I've seen it happen many times.

You divide equally between your three daughters.

1/3 to each daughter, from each of the daughters with GC's share, you could pass some down a generation further. You could also include a letter of wishes that you would support their varying the will (doable if all agree) to move further down a future generation. It would be better to gift what you can now and hopefully reduce the IHT due later.

If the third daughter remains without dependents, it's highly likely her money will go to her nieces/nephews anyway, or the dog's home.

I think best to everything it to your three daughters. It's up to them how they want to help their children. Don't give yourself a headache trying to dish it out!

But could there be more GC to come? Better to say generically'equal shares between...' and what you want to happen if one of them predeceases you.

A small bequest to each grandchild and the rest equally between your own children.

I have no children and plan to leave my estate to my 3 nephews but would still expect to receive the same equal inheritance as my sister.

All of this is irrelevant. People make different choices and have different priorities. Don’t make trouble with your children after your death. Divide your estate equally between them. I’d you wish to give a gift to each grandchild so be it. After individual gifts the main part of the estate is divided between your children.

Token amount to each grandchild. Maybe £1k or so depending on total estate. Everything else divided equally between the daughters.

I would divide into 4. A quarter each to your daughters and the remaining 25% between however many grandchildren. there are at your demise.

Do not attempt to differentiate between your daughters by income or apparent success as you will create endless bitterness and resentment. My parents gave 2/3 of their estate to my sister because the had "given" them grandchildren and I had elected to be child free. To this day there is still a coldness between my sister and I.

I have four children and my sibling doesn't have any. I think (and hope) that my parents inheritance plans are to split their estate evenly between my sibling and I. They may choose to leave token amounts to my children, but I would hope they wouldn't use my sibling's infertility as a reason to consider them less in need or deserving of money our family generationally speaking has worked hard to accumulate. Neither of us need or count on any inheritance, but I do feel that an even split would be most fair, if it isn't all eaten up in care costs or our parents decide to have a wild few years splurging - which we'd both be glad they did after many years of focusing on others.

I was thinking exactly this

I would leave it equally shared between my three daughters

Leave it equally to your 3 DD. If you start leaving bequests to your DGC what do you do if any of them have children while you're still alive? You could then be drawn into trying to guess how many great grandchildren will eventually succeed you.

I'd divide most of it equally amongst my daughters with a token amount for each grandchild.

I would divide equally between my children.

How much we talking?

Could you for instance, 30k to each grandkids (house deposit?) and the rest between all 3 daughters?

Potentially you could give the grand kids their money before hand if you have cash, so you get a chance to see them use/enjoy it. New car, holiday, burden off.

And just let your daughters split the house.

But don't leave it as 1/3, it's horrible to think of these things I know, but it will make for a crappy situation after you've gone.

Leave it equally between your daughters and let those with children give to their kids as they wish.

If you bypass your children you are leaving them with a message that you don’t trust them to act in the best interests of their children, your GC. It doesn’t sound like that is the case here.
Why wouldn’t you trust your DD to pass it on to your GC as and when needed?
You also need to leave equal to childless DD without kids and trust her to leave to nieces and nephews, or do you not trust her either?

We have divided it in half, 50% split been our kids and then the remaining 50% to be left to the grandkids including stepkids by marriage.

If any of our children die before us, their share then goes to their kids in equal shares. In your case, if your daughter without kids died 1st, her share would be split between her siblings.

We also set up the grandkids money in trust to be given/used by them once they reach 18 for education, a home or marriage.

Leave it divided between your children, with a token to grandchildren if you like. Your
chilldren can give their shares to their own children if they choose.

Your suggestion is a bad one.

Equally to all 3 daughters. Anything else would be outrageously unfair for all sorts of reasons. Not least it is the parents who should decide when their children have access to chunks of money. You could completely disrupt all sorts of parenting and care

I think what you plan to do is fine. I presume your daughters who are mothers, don't need the money, and the money will be more helpful for your grandchildren.

Equal shares between your children, they can then pass it on to your grandchildren as and when they see fit.

Fairest way.