How can I divide my estate fairly between daughters and grandchildren?

[Ilikesundays]

Would really appreciate your views! I’m in my 80s and have three dds and 7 gcs. All are over 20. Two dds are married: one has 3 DCs and one has 4. Youngest dd is unmarried and has no children. I want to make my will and be fair to all of them. I was thinking of leaving all my property (f/h house, no mortgage in London + fairly substantial savings) to the gcs + the unmarried dd and nothing to the two married DDs. But on reflection this seems very harsh and unfair to them . How would you manage it? They are all working, bar two gcs who are still studying p/g.

This is the only fair way

This is fair and what I would do.

@Ilikesundays I would bequeath a set sum of money to each of the grandchildren, and the rest of the estate to be divided equally between your children.

Their circumstances (married/unmarried/working/studying) are irrelevant. Anything other than equal distribution between siblings is unfair and runs the risk of having a negative impact on the future of their relationships with each other.

I would divide equally between your 3 DDs after giving nominal amounts to all 7 GC.

My mil just did 80% equally between her two children and one stepson and remaining 20% between 11 grandchildren. Don’t start thinking oh this one’s married this one has more kids - divide it equally between your children and if you want to put a share for the grandkids do that

I’d divide everything equally between your three daughters. If you want to leave some to your grandchildren I would take that money out of their mother’s share.

If you die without a will, your estate would be equally divided between your daughters.

If you give more to your daughters with children, your other daughter will hate you and feel you are punishing her for not having children. This will apply even if you give the grandchildren £100 each and then split the rest between the daughters.

Just divide it three ways.

Or don't, but don't tell them what they're getting because it will create resentment.

Of course, you'll be dead so you won't know and won't care.

Leave equally in your will between all DC only not DGC but gift a bit extra beforehand to your unmarried DD to help her out.

This. Anything else and you punish you DD that didn’t have children.

I wouldn’t leave the GC anything in your position. Leave it equally to your children.

Split assets equally.

Why should she?! Why not spend it all and enjoy it?

I think the fairest would be to divide it between your daughters, three ways.
Given that your grandmother already skipped your daughters in her will and your grandchildren have already inherited something (an unusual situation), it seems even more unfair to leave two of your DDs out entirely when there is clearly plenty of money in the family.

I agree with this also. And I have done something very similar.

I think the fairest thing would be to split most of the estate between your three daughters, with a decent cash amount to each grandchild. Alternatively you could leave them the house to be sold and divided between your three daughters and divide the cash between the 7 gc.

It is usually best to divide money equally between your children because the ones that don’t get any money inevitably feel they were loved less. If you decide not to do that, you should be sure to discuss it with each child before your death so they understand your good reasons for that decision.

I would split it equally between your three children and leave it up to them whether they pass some/all onto their children. Or like some above said, a quarter to each daughter with the last quarter divided equally between the grandchildren. Circumstances can change so trying to be fair never ends up being fair and it can divide everyone. I’d just split equally between your three daughters.

Leave equally to your children and give a token to your grandchildren. Your children will use what they need, then pass on what they can to their own children

I’d split it equally between the three daughters. The ones with children can do a deed of variation if they want to pass it straight on to their own children.

Please, please do not disinherit your children in favour of your grandchildren. It will sow seeds of resentment that the family will never recover from. Leave your estate to your three daughters and let them pass it down as they see fit - there’s a good reason that this is the default pattern of inheritance for those who die intestate.

Absolutely this. It is equal. Leaving money to Grandchildren is difficult for loads of reasons (not least because they are sometimes not adult enough to cope with it, and they run through the windfall within months). I would add that punishing a child with no inheritance because they are "more sorted" is cruel, did you love them less? did you not want them to be sorted ? I think that you can sometimes leave a personal thing or a small amount of money to the child that maybe needs it the most or has done the most for you, or you just have an a stronger relationship with, but yeah, three ways and let them sort how they distribute from then on. It is hard to work out what to do for the best, but please do it. xx

The choice to have three children was yours, and the choice for them to have children was not yours.

I agree with splitting it equally between your three children, the only reason I would deviate from this is eg if one was a millionaire, but would discuss with them first.

It is up to the three daughters to spend it or leave it to their own children.

Divide equally between your 3 daughters but leave small gifts to all your grandchildren.

I'm not expecting anything from my last surviving grandparent. I would assume everything would be spilt equally between her 3 children. She has 8 grandchildren of all ages; I am the second oldest at 39, my youngest cousin is 8. The only reason i got something from my other grandmother was cos my Dad is dead, so my Aunt got half and my brother and i each got a quarter which would have been my Dad's half. Nana is nearly 90 and not in the best of health but it never occurred to me to find what was in her will. I will be grateful if she leaves me something but i wouldn't love her less if she doesn't. I do wonder about the house, it probably worth a tidy sum but she has partner (not my grandad) who lives with her and I do not know if he would have a claim to the house.

Just between your kids. No arguments.

It needs to be split as equally as possible between your 3 daughters. Completely fair. Then the ones with kids can either pass some to their own children at the time or it’ll just form part of their own estate.