How can I divide my estate fairly between daughters and grandchildren?

[Ilikesundays]

Would really appreciate your views! I’m in my 80s and have three dds and 7 gcs. All are over 20. Two dds are married: one has 3 DCs and one has 4. Youngest dd is unmarried and has no children. I want to make my will and be fair to all of them. I was thinking of leaving all my property (f/h house, no mortgage in London + fairly substantial savings) to the gcs + the unmarried dd and nothing to the two married DDs. But on reflection this seems very harsh and unfair to them . How would you manage it? They are all working, bar two gcs who are still studying p/g.

As so many PPs have said - split it equally between your 3 DDs. Don't for goodness sake do what my DM did as it has irreparably wrecked my family. She left 25% to me (married but child free), 25% to my "D"B & 25% each to his DC.

Doh! I meant I’d divide it in 4. A quarter to each DD and a quarter divided between all grandchildren with provision should more appear prior to your death.

Say a token amount to each grandchild. (Say, 0.5%).
Each DD gets that amount and their mother gets an additional amount for future DC up to 4.
The rest is split in 3.
So DD1 gets 1/3 and the dc get £4K between them.
DD2 gets 1/3 and an additional £1k plus £1k for each dc.
DD3 gets 1/3 plus an additional £4K for future DC.

That’s about as fair as you can be, and the token amount per child can be larger or smaller. For absolute security I’d do the token amount as a percentage. Each GC gets 1%, DD2 gets an additionally 1%, DD2 an additional 4%. That way if there’s less money than anticipated , there’ll still be some for the DDs.

Otherwise, all the cash goes on bequests and there’s nothing left for the ‘main’ beneficiaries.

Yes equally between three dds the bulk and a token amount to GC sounds the most fair.

I would sell the property and downsize. Anything left divided equally between your children. Then survive 7 years. Any extra funds use to regularly gift or pay for things for the grandchildren, not enough to negatively impact your life but enough to reduce your estate.

My parents will between two children with one having two children and the other none is 40% to the one with no children, 30% for the other child then 15% to each grandchild.

Obviously that was a lot easier to split with a smaller group.

Leave 1/3 to unmarried daughter. Ask married daughters if they want their share or would prefer it to go straight to their kids. If they intend to pass it on to the gcs anyway when they die rather than use it, it could be taxed twice- once when you die and once when your daughters die. If your estate really is substantial then consider setting up a Trust. Seek legal advice.

Op is 80s, existing GC are all over 20 which suggests that the DDs are roughly 50s? Unlikely that child-free DD is going to drop triplets (though not entirely guaranteed...)

I would split in 4. One share to each dd and remaining share to split equally between DGC

Or whatever proportion suits. You can't give to one DD and not the others without leaving behind an awful family rift (unless there's a massive drip feed that married dds have assets way above unmarried one?

Just divide between your children. It’s up to them to make further provision for their own children.

Split three ways between your daughters. Your daughters then decide what to do with their inheritance.

Leave to the 3 daughters only then it’s up to them if they want to give some to their children.

Leave most of the estate to your DDs divided equally, say 90 percent and divide the remaining 10 percent between your GC.

Child-free daughter is 49 and unlikely now to have children of her own. Should have explained perhaps that eldest dd has very small income and her dh earns a reasonable but not massive salary. She’s the mother of 4. The middle dd earns a very good salary and her dh has a very large salary but they spend what they earn and have a massive mortgage. The youngest has her own business and does ok though not taking much out of the business (she has high overheads). The gcs who are working are just starting out and not earning very much. They have nearly all left home and are living independently or with partners.

It's your money to do as you wish but my personal views are that you split inheritance equally between your DC only. They then pass on their inheritance to their children when the time comes as so forth.
Never split it based on their individual needs or by the number of children they have. It just builds resentment and unnecessary tension if more money ends up on one siblings side more than another's.
People's financial situations can change dramatically over the years without warning too. At present, you might think one DC needs more help than another but who knows what the future might bring.

My mum has this issue. There are 2 daughters. I have 2 children. Other daughter has one child. When discussing this, my sister felt leaving something to the grandchildren wouldn't be fair as my family would get more money than hers. She thinks it should just be split between the daughters and what we choose to do with it is up to us.

But, I think it would be nice for mum to leave something to the grandchildren. It hasn't been sorted as far as I know.

Equally between all is only fair way.. Personally i'd leave bigger 'chunks' to your actual children though, and smaller amounts to grand children. I mean it will make its way to them anyway eventually...

Just leave to your children. Your grandchildren will inherit from their parents. Saves arguments and no, I wouldn't treat your children differently, it's a kick in the teeth.

Split with each daughter getting a third.

If the youngest daughter does not end having children, then it is likely her share will end up with the grandchildren anyway down the track.

Leave it to your daughters. Make very clear you are content for them to vary the will to leave it to their children instead if they prefer.

Dived equally between your 3 dds. Your dd's with children can do a deed of variation to pass some on to their dc if they want to.

Anything other than a fair division is going to lead to hurt feelings and a sense of favouritism.

Leave it to your three daughters equally to each. They can pass it on to their children as they wish, if they have them. Your DD without children will quite possibly let her sisters' children inherit from her too.

You are over complicating this, don’t discriminate against your children based on their breeding decisions (OR disappointments), or their choice of partner.
You cannot predict the future either - who will stay with/cheat divorce, have more DCs?
You have 3 kids, leave them an equal share otherwise you risk causing resentment and arguments, jealousy etc once you are gone.
Don’t make that your legacy

Following your update i’d still leave it equally between your three daughters. Perhaps the youngest daughter wanted children? Let the daughters sort out their own children with inheritance. You look after yours and they look after theirs.
This way will cause the least problems in the future. Money changes people.

I have two AC, one with DC and one without. They will get exactly half each as this might be perceived as a measure of my love for them. They know I’m laughably anal about fairness so I believe they trust me. I would feel I penalised the AC without children if I gave them a measure.
My MiL fell foul of specifying an amount for DGC, as it couldn’t be assumed after care home fees how much would be left for her DC. Just to warn you.

Divide three ways between your three daughters. If one of them wants to give their share to their children, a deed of variation is easy and cheap to arrange.