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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

How can I divide my estate fairly between daughters and grandchildren?

433 replies

Ilikesundays · 03/07/2026 22:15

Would really appreciate your views! I’m in my 80s and have three dds and 7 gcs. All are over 20. Two dds are married: one has 3 DCs and one has 4. Youngest dd is unmarried and has no children. I want to make my will and be fair to all of them. I was thinking of leaving all my property (f/h house, no mortgage in London + fairly substantial savings) to the gcs + the unmarried dd and nothing to the two married DDs. But on reflection this seems very harsh and unfair to them . How would you manage it? They are all working, bar two gcs who are still studying p/g.

OP posts:
MyDeftDuck · Today 11:19

Personally, I’d divide it between them equally regardless of marital status and relationship. There’s nothing like a will reading to split a family

PoliteGreyDreamer · Today 11:20

Dunnocantthinkofone · 03/07/2026 22:33

My parents have a percentage to be divided between any current and future grandchildren. I think 10%
Rest to be shared equally between their children (me and brother)

How do you share it equally between future grandchildren? Your brother could be making babies into his 90s.

SapatSea · Today 11:21

split the bulk equally between your 3 daughters and make a bequest to the grandchildren.

Jardenalia · Today 11:21

Splitting equally between the DDs is what I would do/ am doing. My will also addresses what happens if - perish the thought - a DD predeceases me

musicandmen · Today 11:22

My mum and dad have done £10k to each GC and the rest spilt equally between me and my siblings.

ACR7 · Today 11:23

I think I would just leave equally to my children and they can give what they want to their own children.

Manthide · Today 11:24

My late db was unmarried and had no dc. I have 4dc. Our parents would have divided their estate equally between us and left me to give to my dc. They have just made a will and everything goes to each other, then me and if I die before them equally to my 4dc.

BumpyaDaisyevna · Today 11:25

I would leave each gc a littlegift of money - depends on size of your estate but eg £2k ish each - enough to buy something nice - and split the rest three ways between your DD s

pb97 · Today 11:25

FullLondonEye · 03/07/2026 22:17

Divide equally between all. Trying to decide what would be equitable instead of equal will only end up alienating some.

I would say the exact opposite.

My three rules are

  1. Each according to their need
  2. The ones who are closest get the most
  3. Think long term

In essence, if someone is already well off then giving them more won't help them very much, but it will help the ones who have the least much more.

If you're closer to one, for example if one of them helps you with the shopping every week, then it's perfectly OK to treat them a little more favourable.

With expensive items like a house, it may be better to put it in a managed trust that rents it out in exchange for a long term income that can be split up between the family for decades. It will give them some security rather than a big cash bonus that they might just spend right away. If things get desperate for one of them in the future they could always move in themselves. Property pays for itself thrice over if you think long term.

tartyflette · Today 11:27

I think leave a token, exactly specified amount to each of the existing grandchildren, say £1000, or whatever you think is appropriate, with the remainder split equally between your three daughters.
That way you are remembering your grandchildren in your will but are leaving the bulk of your estate to your children .
The fact that some have children and others do not is not really relevant, especially as the situation could change. Be fair to your own kids first.

NotAtMyAge · Today 11:29

The only fair way is to leave it equally divided between your 3 daughters. Anything else risks leaving behind you a potential legacy of family disagreement and resentment. You could leave a small gift to each grandchild as a token of love.

KarmenPQZ · Today 11:35

It’s tricky because what if I’m current DD with no children of her own now, is 8 months pregnant when you die. It’s always going to create a bit of a rift I think if someone hasn’t completed their family. You’re best dividing it just between your direct kids and discuss with them in advance why you’re doing this.

Dolphinnoises · Today 11:38

I would divide your estate between your three children equally, but talk to your DC with children and ask them if they would like any of their share to go directly to their DC to avoid double inheritance tax

C8H10N4O2 · Today 11:39

Ilikesundays · Today 02:50

That’s what I’m going to do. That seems to be the consensus of your suggestions and the fairest way to do it. Thank you!

Discuss with your solicitor before finalising.

Assuming the relationships between the sisters are good, I imagine it is likely that the youngest will ultimately leave any estate to the nieces/nephews?

Discuss with the DDs if they would rather their portion was passed directly to the DGC - it can be a sensible move.

There is no “right” in this - you know the family, its your money to distribute how you see fit. There is nothing wrong with giving extra help to the DC in greater need if you think it useful - nobody has a “right” to anyone else’s estate. However I would avoid surprises.

LavenderSkies · Today 11:39

While it’s entirely up to you how you divide your estate, I think I’d be leaving it to my 3 DD to split evenly. If you’d like to leave a token something to your grandchildren then do so, but the bulk of the estate should go to your DDs.

My MIL recently passed. She had 4 children - 1 is quite well off, 2 are comfortable, and the 4th is okay but is also a single parent (so covers everything by herself). MIL has split her estate equally between all 4, excluding the $10k she has left to each grandchild (she currently has 10 but worded her will to cover any grandchildren born up until her estate is dispersed). My mum, on the other hand, has left nothing to her grandchildren and requested her estate be split between myself and my 2 siblings. If we want to give anything to our kids, that’s our prerogative.

olympicsrock · Today 11:40

I’d give each of the grandchildren a small amount , under £10 K. I would split the rest equally between your children . Don’t penalize the daughter without children.
Some would just split 3 ways .

IfItsNotOneThingItsYourMother · Today 11:40

Leave between your 3 daughters with instructions on what should happen to their 1/3 should any pre-decease you.

TheCraftySquid · Today 11:43

Leave equal share to your daughters and leave it to them to worry about their kids. It gets far too complicated to start considering grandkids. If you really want to include the grandkids and leave them something, get some specialist advice.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · Today 11:43

If you leave everything to your daughters, they can decide to vary the will (with the executors’ agreement) to pass on some of it immediately to the GC in a tax efficient way.

BeaPerry · Today 11:44

maddiemookins16mum · 03/07/2026 22:18

Leave equal amounts to all three daughters. It’s up to them what they give the GC.

This ⬆️

PrincessHoneysuckle · Today 11:45

My grandparents gave equal to children and grandchildren

Grammarnut · Today 11:46

Leave equal shares to your DDs. Give a tax free sum to DGC, who can inherit from their mothers in the case of the DDs with DC. Childless DD does whatever she wishes, and she may choose (but does not have to, Battersea Dogs' Home always needs money and has good lawyers) to leave some or all of her remaining inheritance to DN&DNs, either sex, both sexes as she chooses. Don't try to organise a future you won't see.

Tinkerwebbo · Today 11:46

Wowzers no, not in this way. Have worked on cases like this. Most to daughters. Then some cash to each g child. You could also give slightly more to unmarried childless daughter if perhaps you want to pay forward for a wedding or other baby items etc (if you did the same for the others). Up to them in the future to then pass down.

Dancingintherain09 · Today 11:54

My DP and DPIL have left nothing to grandchildren. Their thinking is they will inherit from their parents or their parents can share their share if they wish.
My husband is one of 5 with all of the siblings having 3-4 children each and some of the grandchildren having children themselves.
The fairest way is ti split it evenly between children only as they then can chose to help their children from their share if they so wish.
Then the grandchildren will eventually inherit from their parents.

Summerluvin1 · Today 11:55

Please dont complicate it. Leave the money to all 3 daughters, none to the GCs unless u want to maybe give them £5k or £10k each or something but dont cause upset and divide your children because youll be dead and itll be talk about how unfair u were and them the resentment will come. Sorry to be harsh.