How can I divide my estate fairly between daughters and grandchildren?

[Ilikesundays]

Would really appreciate your views! I’m in my 80s and have three dds and 7 gcs. All are over 20. Two dds are married: one has 3 DCs and one has 4. Youngest dd is unmarried and has no children. I want to make my will and be fair to all of them. I was thinking of leaving all my property (f/h house, no mortgage in London + fairly substantial savings) to the gcs + the unmarried dd and nothing to the two married DDs. But on reflection this seems very harsh and unfair to them . How would you manage it? They are all working, bar two gcs who are still studying p/g.

Not always

I’ve just been helping my parents with their wills, and doing my own too. My advise is to engage a will writer who is registered with a will writing professional body or code of practise.

we have set up wills and trusts (for them and also done the same with my husband). My parents wanted to make sure that any monies they left us was then in trust to the GC should we die (and not go to spouses etc). So it’s in trust to our children.

they also placed in clauses around my parents outliving us (so going to our respective children). My sister has 3, I have one (my husband has another 2 - which is partly why we also have trusts set up to protect his children should he die first).

the daughter without children, you could place any monies left over into trust across all GC. Anyway my main advise is to seek professional helps. Ultimately it’s your choice, and you can leave it all to a donkey sanctuary should you wish! But a good will writing service will help you navigate your worries.

you could opt for splitting 4 ways, and the 4th be an equal split between GC, with the rest to go to them later on in trust (just a thought).

Then the daughter would have to split her money. It could go on forever with this way of thinking

I agree that that's fairest. I don't think it's your job to decide who is most deserving, it's your job to treat all your children fairly.

If you'd asked me a few years ago I'd have said to divide between the three daughters with a token amount to grandchildren. But things are so much harder for young people these days and likely to get even more so in future. I would therefore consider a bigger chunk to grandchildren. Or if you can afford it now perhaps paying a bit into an ISA or SIPP for grandchildren as it could make a huge difference to them due to compound interest.

Choose an amount you would like to leave for the grandchildren . Make sure your will allows for any additional grandchildren that may arrive after your will is signed. Then the remainder is to be divided into three .

I'm 74. My house was in a trust before my husband died. 30% to each daughter and 10% to the 6 grandchildren. Same with any cash or savings. When my husband died I changed my will. I couldnt change the trust, but any cash or savings left goes to just the grandchildren. They all are fully aware that I intend to spend a lot of it on myself and any repairs to the house so depending on how long I love there might not be much left. I'm lucky that they all know and are all happy with that arrangement. I am happy to give out gifts of varying amounts now and then anyway.

There are lots of different kinds of "equally" and each of your daughters is an individual who has made her own choices.

If I were you I would be leaving one third to each daughter and ket it trickle down to grandchildren as needed - the childless daughter has just as much right to inheritance as her sisters but will probably have her nieces and nephews as her heirs if she remains childless.

If you don't want to do that then a 4 way split with each DD getting 25% and each geandchild getting an equal share of the last 25% is ok.

The idea of splitting it into 10 equal parts is unfair in my opinion. The childless daughter gets 10% and the family of thr daughter with 4 kids gets 50%. That doesn't sound right to me. But it's your money and your choice.

How long I Live not love. But that counts too. 😂

Leave equal amounts to all 3 daughters its the only fair way

Do you not like your married daughters? Have they done something (other than getting married) to upset you? What is the reason you are choosing to disown them in your will?

Leave equally to your 3 DDs. If they wish to share with their children they can do so from their share and a deed of variation.

anything else creates hurt and resentment.

also make sure you are doing what you can to plan for IHT.

You could leave a small amount for each grandchild. Or perhaps a “thing”.

In your position, I would either:
split equally between the 3 DDs only, or
spilt into quarters with equal parts going to 3DDs and then the final quarter divided amongst GC

Could you talk to them and see what they want?

My dad has spoken to us and has split his estate between siblings but as I’m financially comfortable my share is going straight to GC. My brother has more need for money so his share is being split between him and his daughter.

No surprises and everyone is happy.

Equally to your daughters. It is the cleanest, clearest way. They can then decide whether they support their children/your grandchildren. Once you start getting into micromanaging and trying to make it all fair, you are bound to create tensions since people spend their income differently/make different decisions - most of which you won't know much about.

Maybe leave a cash gift to each of the grandchildren.

I would leave specific sums to each of the Gdcs, and split the rest 3 ways.

Thats what we’ve done in our wills, anyway, and what my DM did some years ago - she had 4 dcs, 2 with 2 dcs each, 1 with one, one with none.

So set sums to all Gdcs, the rest split 4 ways.

@Ilikesundays my mum allocated 10% of her estate to be split equally amongst grandchildren. The rest she split equally between her children. One of her children (my sibling) doesn’t have kids… and felt no animosity about this arrangement. She was glad her nieces and nephews had help towards uni costs or for a house deposit.. and she received the same as her own siblings.

The other way to do it is to just split it equally between all of your daughters. And let them decide what they want to pass on. Don’t base it on who has got what job now and who is married or not… circumstances change.

As there is a substantial amount of money. How about £1,000 to each GC that survives you, un-named to allow for one to arrive soon .
But equal sums to each DD. If a DD predeceases you then her share goes to her issue. Her children then get the trickle down money. But each is the same as if their parent had lived.

Split between the children only

If your daughters inherit and want to spread the money to their children they can either give from their share, as my dad did, or vary the will (with the agreement of the other executers) to avoid inheritance tax implications of dying within 7 years.
I am glad you will share evenly between your daughters. This is the absolute right thing to do.

Split equally between your children and leave a small gift (eg £500 each) to grand kids

I don't think you can divide on the basis of their current financial circumstances without causing damage. What if things change? And what if successful DD considers that low-earning DD has made a conscious choice which had other upsides for her (more time with kids for eg) and which high-earning DD has missed out on?

The money is, or will perceived to be, symbolic of your equal love for all your children, not a levelling up mechanism (unless one is disabled perhaps).

I do think that it's much fairer to divide primarily between the DD's, with a small amount to each GC perhaps.

Our wills leave our estate equally to our 3 DD's, and it's their responsibility to pass to our grandchildren as our younger 2 don't have DC yet and it didn't seem fair to just leave to the ones we had when we wrote the wills. We may revise it once our grandchildren are adults.

Do you think that your daughters will be equally generous/fair to their children?

My Grandpa died leaving half his estate each of his two children (my Dad and my aunt). His will said they they could decide as a when they shared it on with their own children. My aunt gave each of her children (my cousins) £20k each “from Grandpa”. My dad decided to keep every penny to himself and not give any to my siblings and I. It caused a lot of upset and resentment between the cousins (and my Dad!)……… so you might want to avoid a similar scenario.

My Grandparents on the other side left a set sum to each Grandchild £10k and then the remaining estate was split equally between the three children. Seems much fairer to me.

Don’t make any will that will cause upset or resentment between your kids and grandkids.

I think the problem with that is if the OP ever goes into care and much of her capital is used. The specified amount to GC could take all that's left leaving her DDs with nothing.