To ban SD from my en suite?!

[EasterEstherEgg]

I’m fuming!!

When I moved in with DH, an en suite was an essential on my list. I have DD12 and he has SS15 and SD17 and I don’t want to share my personal space with teenagers. They’re also not allowed in our bed.

Have come back from a work trip early to find SD getting out of my bath, with my shampoos, body lotions and creams laid out and my bloody dressing gown and slippers on and apparently she often does this when I’m away!

She - and DH and everyone else - are well aware my en suite is off limits. AIBU?

Yeah, you clearly hate them, best save them from you.

Whether it be a Ferrari or some products is irrelevant. The fact is, you had made it clear to your SD and her dad that you didn’t want the children to use your bathroom and she ignored that and crossed a line. It’s entitled behaviour and she’s intentionally pushing boundaries. Your husband needs to support you in addressing this behaviour before it spirals further.

It does sound that way doesn't it.

Ah, OP, I feel for you. I think a lot of people
focus on the “touching your things” as if that’s the one issue, but the bigger issue is that in a full house, the one space you ask to be off limits gets blatantly ignored.

This is so weird to me. We used to use friends' parents' en suites when staying at their houses. I find this recent strict privacy movement very unnatural.

SD was territory marking. Using your en suite, personal skincare and wearing your dressing gown and slippers is not about her wanting to emulate you @EasterEstherEgg, she is basically saying she’s the alpha female. The fact she’s flounced off to her mum’s is to avoid any consequences.
I bet if you wore her clothes or used her stuff she’d be raging!

Well, that’s a bit different then. Sounds like time to leave.

This

Gosh, you don’t want them using the room while you’re not at home? Genuinely, why not?

The only rule in ours is leave our ensuite tidy. They don’t always but I get them to come back and sort. I love sharing space - it’s what families do? I can’t imagine saying that a part of our house (and a functional one at that) was off limits to a child or teen. That feels weird.

using your best products - if my special stuff starts going down i move it out. Same with my razor. Otherwise I’m all for sharing.

why do you feel you need a whole bathroom entirely for you? Genuine question.

You have a very odd way of analysing teenage behaviour. Poor SD. She is a child. She is a product of whatever is happening around her.

my girls use my stuff and wear my dressing gown etc not in any way to emulate me (they would be horrified) but because it’s there. Kids are very simple souls - there’s a towel, I’ll use it.

you and the op sound like you don’t really like children.

Different homes, different rules.
I have no problem having my teenagers using my ensuite. They prefer to use their own products and dressing robe, but no biggie if they did.

And you are very naive. “She is a child” She’s 17 ffs. She knows exactly what she is doing.

She’s 17! Possibly a year away from university. If she tried this in student digs at with a flat mate’s stuff, she’d be soon be put right.

I would be cross (with dsd and dh) too. Waiting until you are away so that you won’t know is disrespectful.

It’s about the transgression of boundaries. Everyone needs to respect boundaries you have said no and they don’t care. It’s the rule in my house too with a blended family. No one uses our ensuite.

This! The way you talk about her is disgusting, you clearly hate her. Do her a favour and get out of her life. This is a sign she doesn't respect you. Good reason too! You clearly favourite your daughter. All of my children (including step) are my children!

Indeed it is eye opening .... but the OP says They’re also not allowed in our bed.

surely SD17 in parents bed is a threesome?

This situation is similar to Pithybeaker; she had her partner and his three children every other week taking the piss. They were messy and trashed her house and he gamed and ignored their behaviour and also did not do his share of chores. She called it quits ( he was incredulous) in a very civilised way and got him out. She’s now living peacefully with her son.
Sounds like you’ve reached the end of the road Op, a part time housekeeper/nanny would be less stressful.

You had my sympathy until you called the sc disrespectful pigs. She is rebelling because she knows you hate her. Leave with your preciously perfect Dd and never ever date a man with children again.

We have "only" one bathroom. I am glad I don't have a big house!

Possibly not if SD is coming in when OP is away and DH is letting her. Perhaps to lounge on their bed watching TV, sitting on the bed to apply OPs creams, etc

Blimey OP how dare you want some privacy in your own home? Tell her she can have anything of yours that she wants then take her out shopping and buy her loads of stuff as the cherry on top.
#BeKind #Boundariescangetinthebin #Kidsshouldbeallowedtodowhattheywant

I think you need a sit down meeting with her husband without the kids . He is your equal so needs to support you in discussing with his daughter that what she did was unacceptable. The last thing you need after a business trip is to come back to an untidy bedroom where I’m sure you wanted to unpack and relax for a moment . Your step daughter shouldn’t have been allowed to run back to her mothers before your husband had spoken to her about this and she should have offered a big apology

Absolutely- and then OP should start using SDs bathroom, bedroom, wearing her dressing gown, using her stuff. Clearly the girl just wants to be best mates with her step-mum…😉

Since the OP is the one paying for the roof over everyone’s heads, maybe the disrespectful pigs and their useless father can move out?