Invited the wrong child by mistake

[Oopsididitnotagain]

What to do-if anything?

Dd is having a party at a play place, ten children including herself, allowed. It was hard for her to narrow down her invites as she likes so many in the class and also has family friends to include.
I asked the class representative to please send me a list of the children & parents names & numbers. I made a group invite and sent via WhatsApp. One mum has replied to say her child can come-a boy Dd likes, but isn’t particularly close to, all the other children are girls, aside from one family friend, another boy. It was obviously a mixed up number, I thought I was sending the invite to one of her best friends.

Dd is disappointed and I think the mum was a little surprised too 🫣

Would you do anything?

Yep i would too. I'd phone the mum of the boy, say the numbers had got mixed up and that he is welcome but the rest are girls and give the mum the option of working out what you do.
if he does want to come, i would try and save or borrow for the 11th place.
hope it all works out for you 🙏

I really wouldn’t do this. It’s so so weird. And word might get out. I would stump up the extra cash for the close friend to come too. Definitely can’t uninvite a child.

OP in this case I think I’d ring the boy’s mum and explain. I think it’s okay as all the others invited from the class are girls…if it were a mixed set of invites I wouldn’t dream of doing it, but in the circumstances I think it might be for the best. I think the boy might be uncomfortable/confused about attending if there are no other boys from his class there. Obviously if he still wants to go you shouldn’t uninvite him but you should at least give his mum a heads up.
I have 3 boys who all attended a mixed primary fwiw.

But he isn't the only boy there is another boy and why should it make any difference anyway?
He has been invited his mum said he would love to go.
It would be wrong now for OP to phone his mum and ask again if he really wants to go.
I don't know why it matters that there will be more girls than boys there. They are 7and 8. They should be encouraged to play together anyway.

Well, of course I would treat him well when he arrives, make him welcome and invite the other kid you meant to invite as well.

I mean, that's literally the only option a decent person has - to continue as though you meant to invite him. And I do mean literally. There are no other decent options.

And don't let it slip at all that he was an accidental invite either.

Not sure it’s ‘decent’ to make a little boy uncomfortable attending a party?
Mine would all have hated this at 8.
They’d have much preferred not to have attended.

Equally he may absolutely not be at all bothered. The op has already said the other boy attending would have no issues being the only boy at the party so no reason to think the boy from school would be any different.

Some boys may hate it but it's odd to assume he would be uncomfortable. he clearly wants to attend the party so obviously has no issue playing with girls.

You are replying to a discussion you have invented. What your children would have hated is not relevant. He's agreed to come, so he wants to come.

So long as he knows he'll be the only boy there is no need to invent a fable about how he'll feel.

My kids are well rounded and enjoy the company of others and all through primary they, a boy and a girl, were friendly with both sexes. My daughter invited several boys to her school parties every year up until she was a teenager, and all the little children do what little children do and played together with no invented drama.

But that's not relevant anyway, since we're not talking about my children, or yours.

If he didn't want to come he'd have said no. So that's that.

But he doesn’t know all the other invitations from the class have gone to girls, does he?
He and his mum probably assume a mix of boys and girls from the class are invited.

Completely agree with this. It’s quite likely Ben won’t want to come if none of his boy mates are there, then the problem is solved. You do need to tell the mum though and give her the heads up. And definitely say Ben is still welcome.

And then the fairies came and the magical kingdom was sparkly with fairy dust.

We can just invent stories that match what we'd prefer to believe all day if you like.

He's been asked, he said yes, if he doesn't want to go he can decline.

So that's that.

We always had mixed sex parties too.

He didn’t know that everyone else invited from his class was a girl when he accepted the invitation.
That is an issue.

Absolutely this. And the nonsense about it being too expensive to invite the other friend🙄

OP you have one option only, if you don't want to look like an absolute c you next Tuesday. You treat the boy well as your guest. And if you really want to do the right thing just invite the friend you meant to invite as well.

Obviously, the boy will already know it's all girls coming as kids do talk, and you can mention that casually in passing to the other mum to be sure in case he's a rare case of a boy of that age who'd have a problem hanging with girls for the party.

But most kids of that age have no issues at all playing with the opposite sex.

He's accepted the invitation do NOT try to negotiate a way out of it you will look like an absolute cow.

Nah, it's not. He knows now.

Also, rainbow sparkly unicorns will be there and the King of the land will be bringing munchkins playing pan pipes, so there's that.

Why does it matter if all the others are girls from his class. It's not bothering the other boy invited? It's a party he will still have fun I'm sure even if the only classmates in attendance are female. He has accepted the invite so obviously would like to attend.

This person has a bizarre notion that little girls and boys don't like playing together and should be sex segregated - because that's what she encouraged in her own kids.

Does he?

OP was wondering at 5pm whether or not she should give his mum a heads up about it…

Yep. He does.

You see, anyone can invent a fable that works for them.

Your posts are not relevant, I've explained why you're wrong, please stop quoting me.

Never mind the whole wrong invitation thing...is it commonplace for the class representative to hand out children and parents names and phone numbers? A privacy breach I would have thought.

As I already said upthread, my kids went to a mixed-sex school and we had always mixed-sex birthday parties, so I don’t know where you came up with the notion that I encouraged otherwise.

However, an 8 year boy will be unlikely to want to attend a party with 9 girls and no other boy from his class. He may well feel uncomfortable at the party. They tend to gravitate towards their own sex at this age.

I think that's the point of class reps collecting contact numbers, so people can communicate? Hopefully the only ones she's giving out are people who have agreed to have the numbers collected. Otherwise, yep, that could be an issue.

I did point out that your responses aren't relevant and asked you to stop quoting me, particularly after you inserted the "my children would have hated this" line which was so irrelevant.

The fact that you are now retroactively adding more invented details to make yourself sound wise and fair is kind of funny, but also not relevant.

So please stop responding to me, because I've already explained to you why you're wrong.

I’m speaking on topic and I really don’t think I’m wrong. OP can choose take my advice or not.

But you were speaking at me specifically and repeatedly, and I had already explained to you why you were wrong, which is why I asked you not to do that.

Of course you can keep babbling away in here if you like, just leave me out of it, thanks. Thanks for not quoting me, but as you responded directly to me despite not tagging me, you intended for me to see it and I did of course reply back to you.

So let's just move on with no further interaction.

Op has said the other boy is a family friend , not a child from the school . The child may not want to attend once he realises he is the only boy from the class. Equally, he might not care and still want to go.

My child has been in this scenario himself. One of his closest friends is a girl, she invited him to her party but he would have been the only boy going. My son didnt want to go for this reason- his choice as I never force him to attend parties.