AIBU to think my daughter cannot afford this holiday abroad?

[ThisTealLeader]

Daughter (18) has booked a holiday with friends abroad, didn’t tell us the full amount and then lied about how much spending money she has. They are going bed and breakfast. She will have less than £200 spending money for a week’s holiday. She has used savings to pay for the holiday.
She is saying that her friend will be lending her money if she falls short, which she will I am sure.
My point is she is not being sensible with her money. She only works one day a week and so she cannot actually afford it and hasn’t thought it through.
I think she needs to cancel as it is irresponsible in my opinion to be going abroad with no backup. As far as I am aware she hasn’t booked travel insurance and is reluctant to do so as this will eat into her spending money.
Would like people’s thoughts on this?

what’s your financial situation? I am paying for my dd to go away with a friend as an after a levels treat, and obviously paid for travel insurance. I’m expecting her to fund spending money though.

It is but we wouldn't find it as enjoyable and thankfully we don't need to budget

Get her insurance as a minimum .
If you don’t want to it or don’t have additional money to give to her fine .. she will heed to manage , but please at least be responsible for any health emergencies that may crop up ,

She’s 18 so sort her travel insurance and give her a few quid for fun

Her first holiday with friends is a big deal

I remember living on eggy bread for a fortnight on my first girls holiday!

My dd took a lot of noodles on her first when she was 18

They learn stuff, they chill, they have a great experience - back her to do that and she will really appreciate it

In the kindest possible way, she needs to start learning how to be an adult, including pitching in at home.

Quite easily!? They are extortionate these days...i went to Portugal a few weeks ago and flew from Manchester...a meal, a couple of drinks will not be far of £50...water for the plane, a drink on the plane £50 gone...£200 for a holiday is very clearly not enough at all! Eating out, taxis, clubbing...it will last 2 days max.

We always paid for travel insurance for our children, more for peace of mind than anything else. We also warned them not to hire motorbikes/quads etc because they weren’t covered. Did they listen? Most of the time, except for one of them and when we saw the photos he was on his own after that. He’s still alive thankfully. Most insurance doesn’t cover for repatriation in case of illness/death and decent medical care for a few pounds.

As for your DD not affording it, give her a break, we’ve all learned from our mistakes when we were that age and I’d rather be the parent sending emergency money than telling them to cancel. You say yourself your DD is vulnerable, do the right thing, let her spread her wings but be there as her safety net.

So she saves it up when she gets back. Clearly she can save 🤷‍♀️

2 of mine travelled and I was happy to throw some £££ their way. Not a lot but I wanted them to travel so happy to help out. At the least, I'd purchase the travel insurance. Not sure why you wouldn't.

Hope she has a wonderful time, how exciting!!

As far as I am aware she hasn’t booked travel insurance and is reluctant to do so as this will eat into her spending money.
She would be very unwise not to get travel insurance.

Whatever you decide please don’t let her go without insurance. Saving £30 or so by not having it could run in to many thousands of £ if she is unlucky enough to have a medical emergency while she’s there.

If she doesn’t go and cancels she’ll lose all that’s she’s spent on the holiday. That would be a pretty shit thing to happen. I have an 18 yr old granddaughter. If I was in your shoes I’d sort out her insurance and explain to her how important it is and why she should have booked it when she booked the holiday.

Then I’d give her an extra £50 spending money and half way through the holiday I’d surprise her with another £50. She hopefully might have time to “earn” £50 doing chores before she goes away. Then if you can afford it wait till a few days in and surprise her with another £50.

It was savings from her trust fund, she didn’t save it. Everything she earns she spends.

Get her the travel insurance I know you shouldn't have to but its better then selling your house if something goes wrong.

Let her go without spoiling it for her. Can’t you gift her or loan her a bit? Don’t you want her to have a nice holiday?

It sounds like she’s going with sensible friends, it could be the making of her. Bung her £50 if you can and get her some travel insurance. She’ll have a great time (or 3 days of a great time and 3 days eating toast in their apartment, either way it’ll all be a learning experience).

I would help her out tbh rather than telling her to cancel.
In the scheme of things it would be a nice gesture from you and it lovely to go on holiday with her friends.
Why is she vulnerable?

When did you start teaching her about budgeting , savivgs and explaining finance to her? H

I get the feeling the OP doesn't want her to go at all.

Greek Islands - oh brings back memories of 1979 I spent a month on Paros. That is
how to make the best of being young.

Tell her that if she needs more spending money she must tell you - and that will be her Christmas present.

Insurance is non-negotiable - but also read the small print about what sports you can do - and that if you get drunk you are screwed.

why is she only working 1 day a week? If she’s in full time education I understand and would help her out with spending money for her holiday with friends. If she’s isn’t and just chooses to work only 1 day a week, she needs a reality check.

Pay for her insurance and let her have fun for the few short years if life with freedom and no responsibility

You might be right, OP, but she's 18 so you can't get involved, and she doesn't have to discuss it with you. If she has a credit card, she'll be OK.

OP you do NOT seem to be a supportive parent at all. Cut her some slack and of course give her the money she needs for this short holiday. You seem mean and rather spiteful.

One of mine is like this im pretty sure she's got bpd she certainly acts like it. Yeah I'd be worried to. Your saving grace will hopefully be her sensible friends

Well she’s not going to become sensible if you tell her not to go! Frankly, she’s 18, not 25. I’d pay the insurance and give her some money. Shame she doesn’t feel she can talk to you openly about her holiday.

Savings from her trust fund? It’s £200, plus a few hundreds for flights and Airbnb. What sort of trust fund has she got if that’s it all gone?

Well she is an adult so not much you can do. Advise her to take travel insurance as going without that would be stupid.

If she is sensible about the money she could make it last if all it mainly has to cover is food. It won’t obviously be fancy meals but since bf is paid for if she eats it a bit late and really tucks in she might be able to skip lunch or share a sandwich with friends etc. and then spend money on dinner. Again nothing very fancy but still possible. Give her all the advice but don’t try to stop her. It is her first trip with her mates. Maybe this will motivate her to work more and save more for the future.