AIBU to expect neighbours to accept our approved house rebuild plans?

[WarmLimeLurker]

DH and I recently bought what we hope will be our forever home. We were only able to do so because of inheritance DH inherited from his late father, and I'd inherited from my grandfather years ago. I'd kept my inheritance invested for around 12 years, and together we were able to buy the property outright.

The house itself wasn't why we bought it. We bought it because we absolutely loved the location, knowing from day one that we'd be replacing the existing house with a home that would suit our family for the long term. We have three young children (6, 3 and 15 months), so we're still living in our London flat while the project gets underway.

We spent over a year working through the planning process. The plans were amended, neighbours had the opportunity to comment, objections were considered, and the council ultimately granted planning permission.
Now we're preparing to start, a handful of neighbours have become quite vocal. We've been told we're ruining the street, that the house is too large, and that we should rethink the project altogether.

I completely appreciate that living next to a building site isn't ideal, and we'll do everything we reasonably can to minimise disruption. What I'm struggling with is the feeling that, even though we've followed every rule and obtained permission, some people seem to think we shouldn't build at all.
Part of me also wonders whether some of the resentment is because we're currently based in London. There have been a few comments along the lines of "London people coming here and changing everything."

The irony is that this area is home for me. I grew up here, went to school here, my parents still live here, my grandparents are here, and this is exactly where I always hoped we'd eventually settle to raise our own children. We're not buying it as an investment or a developer's project we genuinely intend to live there for many years.

DH says we should stop worrying about what people think and just focus on our family. I can't help feeling uneasy that we're starting off on the wrong foot with the neighbours, but equally I don't think we should feel guilty for building a home that's been properly approved.

AIBU to think that once planning permission has been been granted, people should accept the decision and let us get on with building our forever home?

The neighbours are speaking to you, contractors and on a fb group?

Thats quite extreme. Are you building aome kind of 'grand designs' house? What exactly has made you so unpopular?

Yes, there’s a cottage in our village which honestly I think should have been razed and started again - it’s taking a long time and I think they’ll end up with all sorts of maintenance issues and compromises on insulation etc.

There’s a lot of old housing stock in this country which is getting well past its ‘best before’ date.

On different builds by neighbours, we also had our guttering bent and broken by NDN’s scaffold poles, parking trucks on the pavement across my path (to throw slates into from the roof) so I had to lift my pram over the wall, two separate builders brought toddlers with them who either played in the road or back garden so constantly shouts of “Milly! Don’t touch that - I told you it’s dangerous”. The clincher for me was when I was in my back garden and heard this shouted conversation between two builders on scaffolding and roof “we need another brickie” “John’s cheapest” “John the nonce? Is he out of prison then?” “Just out, desperate for work so undercutting” “He didn’t do long for that then, I’m shocked”. Wish I hadn’t heard that! My mum’s neighbour built so far to the boundary that the guttering is over her boundary and they ruined her lovely garden having to build from her side! Coming and going right outside her kitchen doors for weeks.
There’s been lots of building and improvements on our street which have been fine/tolerable but the common thing about the examples above is that the occupants weren’t living there when they happened. After a year of OP’s house presumably being empty (talks about drawing up all the plans) I think a major build with owners off-site gives more concerns to neighbours than if living there - which is probably why OP feels she’s being collared every time she visits the “site”.

But OP what did you expect? Legally you're allowed, but other families have to literally live for months on end by a full on building site - demolishing, rebuilding...the noise, dust and disruption is going to be genuinely miserable. And you won't suffer a day as you'll he in a flat miles away!

Doesnt matter you told the sellers your plans - they dont care...theyre moving!! If the house is similar to others there, it might also feel to neighbours like you dont think their house design is up to scratch as youre demolishing yours.

So of course continue as you're allowed, but you need to be realistic. Nobody is going to like you for this - you wouldn't either in your neighbours shoes.

You’ve done everything by the book and people have short memories.

As long as you keep your cool, once it’s all done, they will calm down.

Maybe a few judicious gifts will help smooth the path. Chocolates or something.

And if there is dusty work, you could offer to have their drives/cars cleaned from time to time.

Just crack on who needs to care about the neighbours you don't need a community around you you'll be fine in your McMansion

The neighbours would probably like it less if you were living in a caravan in the garden while the work went on - you’ve got to live somewhere for the interim.

But I think it would at least make the neighbours have a little bit of respect for them if they were living on site rather than living in comfort away from all the disruption and just wafting in from time to time to inspect the work.

Agree with this!

But that's what planners want - they don't want people replicating the old they want new, here when you apply for permission to build an extension you must have it as new style council do not want you to replicate the old. They want to be able to distinguish what is the old building and what is the new. We have a detached Georgian style house, we applied for permission to add two wings one either side of the house in Georgian style, we were turned down, another reason was it was too wide, we worked with our architect and the planners to see what we were allowed and what we were allowed was a square glass box at the back, now i love it its great space, useable space and the glass patio gives great light, we have an over hang outside the patio which has helped big time keeping the room cool during this heatwave. I am glad now we were turned down for the old plan
Also knocking down house is not taken lightly, planners will have reviewed the old structure and if its deemed that house is not suitable to retrofit to allow current building regs then your allowed to knock it down

I think you're worrying overly. Stop looking at the FB page, those are always full of cranks and loons and people with nothing better to do than complaining constantly. They don't reflect the other people in your neighborhood who are not bothered.

Just chill.

People don't like change so in that sense its unreasonable to just assume they should. That said, change is inevitable and you've done everything correctly so toughen up and crack on.

When houses are being refurbished it improves the whole street ie. Making the street more attractive especially in a stagning market.

location location location: much better to the thr ugliest house on a thought after street;
but when you are a native of the area - which @WarmLimeLurker is - it s fair to assume she has the location.

once you have it, more houses being refurbished better for the entire area.

simple. Whether is translates into house prices… possibly, but when competition is fierce the nicer streets win everytime so
if a house is for sale refurbished on a thought after street it will go first.

You’ve missed the point. It’s about being nice to other people. Same as you don’t have to open a door for others, or say thank you if they pass you something, but it just makes the world a more pleasant place if you do.

so in this case…

yes. They are allowed to do this building work.

but. Recognise that this is horrible for all their neighbours and take steps to mitigate that. Go round to each one, apologise, offer something in return, employ builders who don’t f and blind and have house music blaring at 7am, consider neighbours lives eg delay a start for whatever reason.

just consideration for others and acknowledge the noise you are creating.

If your question is about the neighbours coming to terms with your rebuild and fully embracing it then yes, YABU.

You’re entitled by law to build your house. You can’t control how others feel about it. I predict you’ll build the home, feel unwelcome and move on to a new project (because professionally you’ll want to). The neighbours will be left with your legacy.

Are you sure this isn’t the plot of a Channel 5 drama?

You knew people objected at the planning stage so it makes sense they'll then vocalise they're unhappy.

But you just have to do the build in the most considerate way possible. No noise too early or late.

When you do move in be super friendly and welcoming and hopefully they'll grow to like you and accept your home.

You're right in that it could well be prejudice against London people coming along and making a big disruption. But obviously you know it's not nice for people to have to live near the knocking down of and building of a whole house.

Have you spoken to people directly? Met up with them, gone through plans, compromised on anything? Not just because you didnt get planning permission, but to make small tweaks - eg because Mr Smith doesnt want his patio overlooked, or Mrs Jones doesnt want your extraction system so close to her bedroom window or whatever it is.
If not, you should do that pdq. Its likely tgat small compromises will make a big difference to your neighbours

Of course you're being unreasonable. Whilst no one should be rude to you, they don't have to accept anything and they're allowed to voice their concerns and displeasure. Following the process is meaningless. Councils will allow anything and as long as the backhanders are big enough, a shocking amount of poor building practices are allowed to go on.

It doesn't sound like you appreciate what living next to a building site is at all. It's all about you. Your wants, your needs, what you've done, why everyone should just shut up and get over it. Building is a fucking nightmare for neighbours, none of which you will shoulder because you'll happily be living in your London flat.

What exactly will you be doing to 'minimise disruption'? Will you be on site every single day, to make sure:

• the builders don't start early/finish late
• the builders don't cut people's water/gas/electricity off with no notice
• the builders don't blast music at top volume the entire day
• the builders don't use your land as a tip to chuck their daily rubbish on (which will then blow around the street)
• collect, wash and deliver the laundry for all your neighbours because they can't use their gardens for anything due to the constant dust caused by your building
• provide the neighbours with alternative places to work/care for sick relatives or children that's away from the constant noise and dust from your building
• the builders actually comply with building regulations rather than cutting corners
• provide the neighbours with financial compensation for the 6 months the build is going to go over time
• you repair without argument the damage your building causes to your neighbours' properties?

That's just some of what living next to a building site is like. Do you really wonder why they dislike your plans?

Are you replacing a period property with a modern monstrosity? If you're building one of those awful houses with grey plastic windows, rendering, massive gates & a soleless garden then yabu. If it's something in keeping with the other houses then crack on.

OP people hate change and love to moan. I wouldnt be wild about living next to a building site, just ignore the complaining

You've followed the planning process and been granted permission. You can build your house.

That doesn't mean the neighbours have to like it. You'll have to put up with their resentment, but gradually over time, that reaction will mitigate or people will move away.

Having said that, there was a house built in the last place I lived, that was so ugly, and inappropriate and the owner was so arrogant, after 5 years I don't think anyone spoke to them. Their electric gates stayed firmly shut, they didn't use the village shop and their dcs didn't go to the local school. Maybe they were happy with that situation.

You make really good points - the irony being if OP and partner end up wfh! Especially if “to suit our needs” means two light-filled offices.

MNers hate people who do building work OP so you’re not going to get a balanced view on here. ‘They might forget in a generation or two’ is such hyperbole.

I do agree with some of what you've said. I'm probably a bit more sympathetic than my husband, he wants his way and he will have it y any means necessary (legally) . He's very much of the mindset that planning has been approved, this is his dream house, and he just wants to get on with it. He will be there some of the days, making sure things are going to plan.

As for the neighbours, they might forget about it in time or they might dislike us forever. That's their right, we are not demanding they like us. All we can do is be respectful, keep disruption to a minimum where we can, and be considerate throughout the build. We certainly won't be moving in and causing problems afterwards.

I completely appreciate that living next to a building site is unpleasant. I don't think anyone would choose it. We're not pretending it won't be disruptive.

We're also not complete outsiders moving into a place where we know nobody. I grew up here, worked at the local pub collecting glasses at 14 etc, we have family here, friends here, and my husband has long standing ties to the area as well.

We hope once the work is finished, we'll just become part of the community like anyone else, we are already involved in the community. I know not everyone will agree with what we're doing and that's absolutely their right.