AIBU to expect neighbours to accept our approved house rebuild plans?

[WarmLimeLurker]

DH and I recently bought what we hope will be our forever home. We were only able to do so because of inheritance DH inherited from his late father, and I'd inherited from my grandfather years ago. I'd kept my inheritance invested for around 12 years, and together we were able to buy the property outright.

The house itself wasn't why we bought it. We bought it because we absolutely loved the location, knowing from day one that we'd be replacing the existing house with a home that would suit our family for the long term. We have three young children (6, 3 and 15 months), so we're still living in our London flat while the project gets underway.

We spent over a year working through the planning process. The plans were amended, neighbours had the opportunity to comment, objections were considered, and the council ultimately granted planning permission.
Now we're preparing to start, a handful of neighbours have become quite vocal. We've been told we're ruining the street, that the house is too large, and that we should rethink the project altogether.

I completely appreciate that living next to a building site isn't ideal, and we'll do everything we reasonably can to minimise disruption. What I'm struggling with is the feeling that, even though we've followed every rule and obtained permission, some people seem to think we shouldn't build at all.
Part of me also wonders whether some of the resentment is because we're currently based in London. There have been a few comments along the lines of "London people coming here and changing everything."

The irony is that this area is home for me. I grew up here, went to school here, my parents still live here, my grandparents are here, and this is exactly where I always hoped we'd eventually settle to raise our own children. We're not buying it as an investment or a developer's project we genuinely intend to live there for many years.

DH says we should stop worrying about what people think and just focus on our family. I can't help feeling uneasy that we're starting off on the wrong foot with the neighbours, but equally I don't think we should feel guilty for building a home that's been properly approved.

AIBU to think that once planning permission has been been granted, people should accept the decision and let us get on with building our forever home?

All you can do now is make sure that your builders do not take the piss with the neighbours - and if you're not living there and seeing what's going on it can happen really easily. So clear start/end times, no parking over drives/blocking in. No damage to neighbour's gardens etc. Not adding to the building noise with blaring music. And adhering to the local council's building regulations regarding weekends and bank holidays.

My neighbour's builders were a total pain the arse: constantly blocking me in, damaged my brand new car on three separate occasions, cut my electricity off twice (they got fined for this by the electric supplier as they cut through a major cable and then stupidly did it again a week later...), did not adhere to council building regulations at all, kept trying to store building supplies and equipment on top of my lovely plants in my front garden, blaring music. Because the neighbours weren't on site, I was the one dealing with the problems all the time. It was months and months of genuine frustration and it really felt like harassment.

Building noise can't be helped, but adding to the neighbours' misery by having inconsiderate builders will ensure years of frosty relations.

The house isn’t that far from London it’s within the commuter belt to Waterloo/Clapham etc it’s an easy fast train journey, so we’ve been going back and forth quite a bit already to meet contractors and go through the plans in person.

My parents also live in the area, so we’re very familiar with it and already spend a lot of time there as my parents do look after our eldest on certain days.

A lot of the local discussion seems to be happening on Facebook groups, and it’s fair to say the reactions have been… mixed. The majority of the more vocal comments do seem to be from older, long-term residents, and there’s been quite a bit of focus on our age as well (DH and I are both in our mid-thirties to mate 30s, 35 and 37),some have taken offence to our ages, which has felt slightly odd.

For us, this is our first proper home, and the intention has always been to create something that works for our family and the way we live. We’re not trying to build something flashy or out of keeping with the area we’ve worked carefully with the design and planning process throughout.

We’re both architects so this isn’t something we’ve approached lightly. The design has been developed properly with consideration for planning guidance and the surrounding context. It’s not about changing the character of the area just building a home that fits our needs.

One lady did come up and speak to us face to face just the other day when the contractors were round so yes… the funny thing is she’s known me since I was a toddler, she knows my parents etc

Adds context if you don’t agree that’s fine you don’t have to engage with the post ? I can add whatever context I’d like surely. Does it break the rules?

What was wrong with the original house? And bemused you and they seem focused on age being an issue? What do you term as older? If you’re in late 30s they can hardly be thinking that you’re youngsters with a party house!
@WarmLimeLurker are you frequently telling them “w re LONDON ARCHITECTS we know things “ ?

All the details about inheritances and forever homes are irrelevant. You’ve followed the process and will, presumably, be considerate of neighbours during the build process. Don’t give the rest of it a second thought.

If you are both architects, you must have anticipated this? It happens all the time?

@WarmLimeLurker so because she's known you since you were a toddler she should be behaving like an indulgent elderly aunt and beaming approval on you? You're put out that she actually has contrary opinions to your view of her as someone whose persona is simply that of a person who's known you since you were a toddler? Not as a person in their own right who has views as to what might actually disrupt their life?
You're not coming across as very empathetic to your neighbours and you're still not answering questions about the build.

Are you listening to what they’re saying? Are their objections to do with the design, for example? A bright, box-like modern house in a row of elegant Georgian homes, for example?
What makes them think it will ruin the street?

I think you are of course perfectly within your rights to build what you like - you have permission for it. But if the design isn’t in keeping with its location, I understand neighbour concerns and would suggest you do what you can to mitigate them if you don’t want to put people’s backs up before you even move in.

I lived next to somebody who did this. Completely inconsiderate massive house when there was plenty of space not to go right up to the boundaries and overlooking our house and garden so that we went from complete privacy to no privacy. Yes they got it through planning with the help of some backhanders but that didn't make it any better. We moved as we couldn't bear the sight of them or their monstrosity. And no they weren't Londoners. Nor was it the building work that was the problem, it was the end result.

You can't stop people complaining.

Knowing you since you were a toddler is irrelevant. As is inheritance.

Indeed.
Op may just find it takes a bit longer to make friends when she moves in.
My lovely neighbours have become such a big part of why I love where I live. All the perfect architecture in the world can't replace a community

Op you are going to have to be incredibly well in control of the build process and regularly check with your neighbours to make sure you get feedback and address any issues swiftly

I find it hard to believe two architects were so blithely unaware they might end up with very unfriendly neighbours

Once the build is finished all this will blow over surprisingly quickly, particularly as new people move into the road who will never have known anything different. Your only issue may be that effectively you've opened the door to more people doing the same thing so there may be ongoing building work in the area.

How long is it going to take to finish the work?

It really doesn’t. How you bought the house does not add any relevant details to help us understand the current issues with your neighbours.
Saying “well you don’t have to engage” is a pretty immature response.

Are you turning a petite and characterful 1930's house into a disgusting grey rendered monstrosity? We're 'Down from London' as well and have done work on our house that has lasted a year on and off, unavoidably had lots of trade vans parked on our busy residential road. We lived in during the work with our kids and it was tough. Our work is sympathetic to our house and in keeping with the rest of the street. Neighbours been very kind and tolerant. People know building work must be done on homes. What they don't like is owners not even trying to mitigate the disruption, and tasteless builds.

How big is the house op?

Its bloody awful when someone buys a modest house similar to neighbouring homes, then knocks it down to put a huge house on the plot. A young couple did this in our village - took a nice 180sqm existing house and replaced it with a huge 300 sqm one that looks really out of keeping with ths neighbours. They pissed everyone off and people bore a grudge for years.

How long do you expect the work to take? Are you totally demolishing what is there and rebuilding from scratch?

Have a party?
I refused to speak to the neighbours so I'm not sure that's going to work!