AIBU to expect neighbours to accept our approved house rebuild plans?

[WarmLimeLurker]

DH and I recently bought what we hope will be our forever home. We were only able to do so because of inheritance DH inherited from his late father, and I'd inherited from my grandfather years ago. I'd kept my inheritance invested for around 12 years, and together we were able to buy the property outright.

The house itself wasn't why we bought it. We bought it because we absolutely loved the location, knowing from day one that we'd be replacing the existing house with a home that would suit our family for the long term. We have three young children (6, 3 and 15 months), so we're still living in our London flat while the project gets underway.

We spent over a year working through the planning process. The plans were amended, neighbours had the opportunity to comment, objections were considered, and the council ultimately granted planning permission.
Now we're preparing to start, a handful of neighbours have become quite vocal. We've been told we're ruining the street, that the house is too large, and that we should rethink the project altogether.

I completely appreciate that living next to a building site isn't ideal, and we'll do everything we reasonably can to minimise disruption. What I'm struggling with is the feeling that, even though we've followed every rule and obtained permission, some people seem to think we shouldn't build at all.
Part of me also wonders whether some of the resentment is because we're currently based in London. There have been a few comments along the lines of "London people coming here and changing everything."

The irony is that this area is home for me. I grew up here, went to school here, my parents still live here, my grandparents are here, and this is exactly where I always hoped we'd eventually settle to raise our own children. We're not buying it as an investment or a developer's project we genuinely intend to live there for many years.

DH says we should stop worrying about what people think and just focus on our family. I can't help feeling uneasy that we're starting off on the wrong foot with the neighbours, but equally I don't think we should feel guilty for building a home that's been properly approved.

AIBU to think that once planning permission has been been granted, people should accept the decision and let us get on with building our forever home?

What about the cheeky couple telling him what to do with his own property? Real cheeky. Maybe they pushed him too far and got what they deserved.

Welsh water use workers from Liverpool. They don't have employees it's sub contract work.

A lot of our local trades work in cities during the week. Friends son is in a caravan four nights a week in Portsmouth. Using large plant.

Another local company source, cut and fit, marble, granite, concrete worktops in London. The lads wouldn't find enough work in Wales.

A lot of construction workers travel these days.

Out of curiosity, have you designed something that is "inkeeping" with the rest of the area, or have you gone for something completely different/ultra modern etc? Endless building would drive me mad, but I accept folk are perfectly entitled to do it. I would be extra mad if after all the building disruption the end result was an eyesore amongst the rest of the homes......

Know someone who was in a similar situation. Years down the line, when the friend needed weekly chemo, the neighbours who had originally objected to the building plans would bring over homemade dinner for the whole family. Be a good neighbour and the atmosphere should improve over time.

Maybe the neighbours should have had a whip round and bought the house if it is so precious to them.

I do not think they’re those sorts of people if even if they’re not too pleased but time will tell and I could be wrong. I just can’t picture them doing that I think more or less maybe just not interacting when us is their go to method.

I know within the area another family did completely demolish their house from scratch, people weren’t happy at all during the process according to my mum. It has been 2 yrs now and they seem well settled.

A different scenario though the husband wasn’t rude to one of the couples so I guess my case is different. We can only hope there’s no more issues during this process and it’s as smooth as possible.

I’m planning to making try and speak to our direct neighbours and introduce myself and see if they interact they might not want to but worth a try.

DH has spoken to our direct neighbours today when he was over there and it’s a family with young children, they seem to not have issues with our plan and are looking forward to having neighbours, and they joked (the neighbours) maybe our sons will be friends so I don’t think there is bad blood at least not now but maybe it’s just politeness either way I do not think they’ll make our lives hell from the sounds of it BUT time will tell.

It’s not modern in that sense and not completely different, it won’t stick out.

It’ll stick out because it’s new but not because the aesthetics are odd. We are not going for a glass house at all.

What was the neighbour asking to scale back? Obviously it wasn't the tree house as that wasn't part of the submitted plan...

Will it impact on any of your neighbours in any way shape or form?

You have not acted high and mighty at all. You have been reflective and more than generous compared to some of the comments that have been thrown your way. I would not engage with some of the more spiteful comments. This place is full of people just having a dig for the fun of it.

So you were complaining that the neighbours haven't accepted the outcomes of the planning process - but it sounds like your husband hasn't either - still being angry and upset because he had to change some things. Isn't that pretty hypocritical of you?

What a nasty post. You have interpreted the OP’s comments on the thread in the worst possible way, which says something about you, I guess.

I commented up thread because I tried to go back to my home location after 24 years away. I didn't fit as a teenager and I don't fit now. Just bare that in mind. London mind sets are very different (I work there).
I do think you have a DH problem and I would be worried what sort of behaviour your DH is modelling to your children.

If you live in a community, you've got to expect building work. If you're not happy with that, move to the middle of nowhere.

So are you knocking the house down and rebuilding?

OK? 😂

I feel a little sad for you, because your DH’s behaviour has tainted a positive, exciting opportunity for you as a family.

If you’re really considerate around the building work, and you go on a peace building mission with the neighbours it might help relations. Getting on with them is especially important if it’s intended as your forever home.

And if any other architects are reading this, it’s much easier to buy a building plot without a liveable structure on it. Demolishing viable housing is terrible for the environment.

OP, I would consider whether it is worth your energy engaging with these kinds of posts. You really don’t need to justify anything to the more mean-spirited people here.

Well, people aren't obligated to just accept the decision. They can choose to dislike you ( because that is the only thing they can do).

It sounds like the neighbours aren't going to be friendly. But plenty of people wouldn't be bothered by this anyway.

Is that what you would do as a neighbour in this situation then?

Oh for heavens sake we all impact on each other in suburbia. You have to move to isolated hamlets with walls, high hedges and trees not to impact on each other.

I hope you're ok @WarmLimeLurker , being unexpectedly pregnant as well as all this is a lot. Take care of yourself won't you? 💐

No. I am just a decent person who works in mental health and hates pile-ons. And I am a pretty good judge of character. Would you prefer it if everybody attacked the OP?

The stuff that they are complaining about is different to what my husband is upset about. The aspects of of it that he upset about (unreleased) were not within the planning application so the people within the area did not have access to that information.

But yes I will agree we’re hypocritical. Again I am not here to argue or go into every single detail within what has happened. I explained that we were aware of the aspects that would not be allowed, he was just being bratty as he has clients in the USA where things are different…. But we are not in the states. DH is just being a prick about everything as he has all these ideas but not every idea would ever get approved and he knows that/has always known.