AIBU to ask my friend to leave after criticising my diet?

[Dogingarden]

I have a friend staying with me at the moment because it's just been my birthday.

I have been having treatment for breast cancer and have had no appetite for several weeks. Today I had a craving for pizza and have eaten a large pizza and some chips. I've also eaten most of a bar of green and blacks chocolate today too, along with some other bits.

Friend isn't very impressed and has said several times I need to eat healthy food. She's very much into healthy eating and is very disciplined about what she eats.

I've explained that my consultant says to eat whatever I fancy when I fancy and not worry about what I'm eating as long as I'm getting calories. I have long nearly two stone from chemo side effects, for context.

Friend disagreed with this and said I shouldn't be eating "processed crap" because it's just going to make the cancer worse.

I'm extremely upset by her attitude and what she's said. She's gone up to bed and I'm sitting in the garden with my dog feeling awful. She's meant to be staying until wed but I'm going to ask her to leave in the morning.

Wibu?

@ScrollingLeavesyou've not read the thread have you!

Thanks for making my point for me.

Also, did you actually think you needed to write oncology (cancer)? In this context did you think I might not know what oncology means? Also you misspelled Addenbrooke's. Ask me how I know.

Christ on a bleeding cracker.

@ScrollingLeaves - @Dogingarden has lost 2 stone and is very underweight, and her oncologist has said that what matters right now is that she gets calories however she can. That matters more right now than whether her diet is healthy or not - if she is not getting enough calories, and carries on losing weight, this will negatively impact her recovery and may affect how much of the chemo medication she can be given.

She has said that she normally eats a very healthy diet, but at the moment, pizza and chocolate are the things she can stomach. Her choice, at this moment is not pizza and chocolate vs healthy food, it is pizza and chocolate vs nothing, no food, nada. In this scenario, any food, every less healthy food is better than no food.

Is there any mention of what is meant by improving hospital food for children with cancer? I'm assuming healthier foods?

Most children just wouldn't eat it in that case.

Yeah. I know what you mean!

by the way, OP YA definitely NBU . She does like a bit of a zealot and wellness bore. She means well! Get her to go shopping and fill your freezer up!

yeah I wouldn't trust her not to come back with "healthy" frozen crap!

Grade A trolling 😆

@Dogingarden hope you're OK now x

People are so easily offended, I'd just say tough I'm eating it and move on.

I would hate to upset her if she's that awful when she's being 'caring'

Hi OP... no need to update but was thinking about you and hoping that today is a better day for you than yesterday.

PS. Dark Walnut whips. just saying.

But how is it trolling?? Please explain because I need to understand.

I get why some people were offended by my first post, as someone pointed out that it was too matter-of-fact and lacked the human touch and didn't take into account a person's feelings.

But what was wrong with my suggesting the two Radio 4 discussion programmes? I thought you might find them interesting and enlightening.

I thought your response to the answers to your original post were very thoughtful and gracious, @FoxyLocksie.

Yeah tell her to go home the last thing you need is criticisms at a time in your life when you're feeling vulnerable.. you have evety right to eat what you feel like .. as a friend she should be putting her feet up with you and getting the pizza & chocs out xx

Because you obviously haven't read or understood the OP - she is seriously underweight as a result of the cancer and her doctor has told her to eat whatever she can to get some calories in her. She can't stomach most food right now.
The post is about her judgey AF 'friend' who berated her for not eating clean, despite the fact she is following doctors orders.
Then you come along with your links to radio programmes to side with her judgey AF friend that she should be eating better and probably got cancer in the first place by eating a goddam pizza
Is it clear now??

I don’t know either. In fact of course it isn’t trolling.

I have also suggested that programme twice and I am a cancer survivor ( for the moment) which is why I paid special attention.

This whole thread is bizarre. It sounds as though the friend was tactless in the moment, but well meaning over all.

Agree, when my DM was terminally ill with cancer, a relative noticed she'd lost a lot of weight (she was frail, and in her 80's), and said she'd soon be able to get in a size 10, which would be a much healthier size for her to be...said relative was about a size 8, and saw anything other than super skinny as a character flaw.😠

oh god there are two of em

and now 3

The programme was specifically about cancer doctors not giving the right orders.

This was said by a cancer doctor who has undertaken special studies.

As for putting on weight, there are all sorts of foods to choose from for putting in weight.

In any case there are also cancer prevention helping foods that could, when she feels able, be added to what OP fancies.

Indeed.

Do you think telling somebody undergoing active cancer treatment that “they just made their cancer worse” (by eating a fucking pizza) is the action of a caring friend?

It is the action of a sanctimonious cunt.

Pizza is going to make your cancer worse

what a piece of work. Tell her to go

I'm in the same boat ( and have been for 25 years-outdoing all bets) . Nothing like terminal illness to bring out the Cancer specialist in some people. The preachy advice is done out of love though difficult to handle with grace. As your oncologist will have said, while you're in the throes of treatment ( radio and chemo are appetite killers as you know) eat whatever appeals -there won't be much ! I have/had much the same diet as you - too many nasty carbs and sugar..and still do ! I compromise by buying high quality treats (goumet pizza Vs frozen for e.g.) avoiding cheap sugary stuff and saturated fats. Do start reading the packaging and just tweak your diet as you go. More fruit and veg is always the aim.

She ws referring to you!