To be shocked that my good friend, 37, is seeing a 66 year old lady?

[darksideofthetoon]

Had a few beers with a good friend recently and got a bit tipsy and we got into his dating life. He told me that he’s been seeing a 66 year old grandmother. He is only 37 for reference. They met via online dating.

To be clear, there is nothing wrong with this but I’m just a bit shocked to be honest. He says that they enjoy each other’s company and there is no intention of it developing into anything more.

My friend has always dated younger women and not short of female attention at all.

It’s all good right?

@darksideofthetoon it sounds like they are friends with benefits which is fine if it's nothing more serious and both are on the same page.

I would judge if it was a serious relationship.
I think large age gaps tend to significantly benefit one person - usually the older one who has built up more wealth/ life skills / power than the younger one.
I am particularly concerned if the younger one is in their teens or 20s - obviously this isn't the case for your mate - so live and let live

Depends on what age they divorce. I’m 50 and like most of my mid-life divorced friends, have no desire to remarry. Men benefit far more from marriage in most cases and in situations where a woman has assets and no plans for more children, marriage is almost always more of a risk to her security than a benefit.

The man in my life with whom I was most compatible, in every way, was decades older than I. I will miss him always.

YABU. Your friend is almost 40 years old, not a young adult.

Where did you get that from? I'm divorced it's pretty much last on the list of things left to do on the planet at this point! Once bitten, twice shy.

Just mind your own business. If you don't have a problem with it, why on earth are you "shocked" and wringing your hands on Mumsnet?

Ha he’s probably learning a lot from her also she must be very energetic for a man that age to keep going back.

Joan Collins husband is over 30 years younger than her and they've been happily together since 2000.

When she was asked about the age gap she replied, 'If he dies, he dies'.

A very charming way of telling everyone it's none of their business.

Statistics rather than just you!

I’d assume he’s living out a fetish.

YABU to be shocked. Not all that unusual.

lol yeah it is, give over with the folks pretending many women staring down the barrel of 7o are fucking blokes in their 30s 😂

Yes, I'd be surprised that a man of 37 would be interested in seeing a woman in her mid 60s. If the sexes were reversed, it would still be a big gap, but this feels more surprising because most men seem to pursue women who are younger or at least not much older than they are. I'd find it less unusual if one were 27 and the other 46. Not that your life is over in your 60s, but most people decline in energy and objective physical attractiveness, at a certain point, and that makes a big age gap more unlikely unless fame and fortune are part of the appeal.

It's none of your business, of course, but he chose to tell you and you can't help having an opinion (which you'll keep to yourself if you're wise).

But why do you give a fuck?
I am 56 and recently had sex with a 28 year old.
i don’t want to repeat it (he does) but to me it was a bit of fun, nothing more.
Your friend is enjoying the moment, we are a long time dead!

It would be a bit too big of an age gap for me but I don’t think it’s that shocking. My BIL is 32 and married to a woman in her late 50s. They’re very happy together.

My friend is 66 and dating a 37yr old man :o

Based on what data?

Each to their own and you’ve said she’s very attractive and maybe has a good body too so might look and feel a lot younger than her years!

Not sure I’d be interested in 66 yr old cock but I could definitely see myself hooking up with a man in his late 50s if he was hot

For some men the fact that there isn't going to be a accidental pregnancy, is a bonus.
In terms of just sex, most ok looking older women get messages from men in ther 20s.

Sugar mummy?

Mumsnet drives me insane sometimes. If this thread was about a 37 year old woman and a 66 year old man there would be uproar but apparently it’s fine when it’s the other way around 🙄

Many men will have sex with any woman that offers it up. Seeing that person regularly is a different thing, this is where the genders differ. It’s not about pregnancy it’s about getting sex. This case is different as they are actively seeing each other.

Nah, my friend is a very high earner and she’s financially sorted. It’s definitely nothing to do with money.

He’s 37, not 15. I‘m sure he’s perfectly capable of deciding who he wants to date. It’s not like he won’t be aware of the potential difficulties so presumably he’s weighed them and decided it’s worth it.

And before anyone asks: yes, it would be the same if the genders were reversed.

Yikes! I could date someone who’s 106 😱

Well TBF that’s probably because of the risk of the younger woman becoming trapped by a pregnancy and ending up caring for kids and a senior citizen, or wasting the tail end of her childbearing years on someone who obviously likes a younger model.

But you actually also do see mixed opinions on those threads. Some people will see it as fine as long as they are both consenting adults.

I am personally wary of age gaps in long term relationships as there was a 13 year gap between me and my ex (him older) and even that presented problems as time went on. But if it’s just a casual relationship and everyone is fully on board with that, it’s hard to see any issue.