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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to be disappointed in this anniversary gift? Probably going to sound like an ungrateful cow here

135 replies

Caffeinepleasenow · 27/06/2026 16:04

It's our anniversary this weekend. DH isn't great at gift giving and prefers for me to tell him exactly what I want, which is fine by me. I pointed out the exact running shoes that I wanted in the shop a couple of weeks ago and sent him a picture of them too.

This afternoon he gave me some perfume, that he'd bought while out running errands with our toddler. He said they didn't have the shoes I wanted anymore. It's nice perfume, but not something I particularly wanted. I have mentioned some perfumes that I liked, after getting some samples, so maybe he thought any would do.

What's slightly weirder is that it's the exact same perfume that he saw me buy for my mum's birthday a couple of months ago.

It just feels very low effort. I would've preferred he order the shoes I liked online, or asked which perfume I liked again.

AIBU to be slightly disappointed?

OP posts:
aliceyyyy2654 · 29/06/2026 07:34

Miranda65 · 27/06/2026 16:07

I have been married for decades. I don't think I've ever been given "an anniversary gift"..... is it a thing?
People on here usually moan that their spouse has completely forgotten, so I think you're doing pretty well.

Do you live in the world?

Lexy2345 · 29/06/2026 07:38

DH and I always exchange gifts on anniversaries, 43 years later, hoping to get to gold.

Reallyneedsaholiday · 29/06/2026 16:24

What did you buy HIM?
in my experience, anniversaries tend to equal a bunch of flowers and maybe a “date night”.

eta that you bought him “socks” 😳
tbh, I think you’d have to be going some, to get lower effort than socks.

nomas · 29/06/2026 16:30

As he’s not getting any better, just detach effort for him too. No more thoughtful birthday, Christmas or Father’s Day gifts.

Get him some Lynx and a Card Factory 20p card.

Skybluepinky · 29/06/2026 16:32

Never had an anniversary present, if I want trainers I buy them myself.

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 29/06/2026 16:54

SweetnsourNZ · 27/06/2026 16:14

Yes. There is even a list of traditional materials the gifts should be made of such as 1st anniversary paper, 50th anniversary gold.

What year is running shoes? 😉

Caffeinepleasenow · 29/06/2026 17:14

Reallyneedsaholiday · 29/06/2026 16:24

What did you buy HIM?
in my experience, anniversaries tend to equal a bunch of flowers and maybe a “date night”.

eta that you bought him “socks” 😳
tbh, I think you’d have to be going some, to get lower effort than socks.

Edited

Well, tbf I did also say that I got him things for his hobby. And you don't know the love that this man has for high quality socks 😂

OP posts:
Bigreddog25 · 29/06/2026 19:26

BlueRedCat · 29/06/2026 07:32

Not really. We have been married for 25 years. There is nothing either of us need at this point. We simply would be buying each other things for the sake of buying them. I refuse to buy my husband socks! The romance is well and truly dead at that point! I wouldn’t even buy him trainers as he can buy his own trainers if he needs them.

If I see something my DH would love I’d just buy it for him . What I won’t do is go- it’s his birthday and then spend hours combing through the internet trying to find something that really he doesn’t want/need so I can just buy it for him. We choose to spend the money doing special things together. If you can find many many things to get your partner yearly that is fab. We like literally ran out of regular ideas about the 10 year mark. Our house is already full of clutter we don’t need.

Edited

It's so bizarre when people say they don't buy each other gifts but instead do special things together. Do you think people that buy gifts don't do special things together as well? 😂

And no i don't buy my husband things he doesn't want or need either- that would be a terrible idea.

BlueRedCat · 29/06/2026 19:39

Bigreddog25 · 29/06/2026 19:26

It's so bizarre when people say they don't buy each other gifts but instead do special things together. Do you think people that buy gifts don't do special things together as well? 😂

And no i don't buy my husband things he doesn't want or need either- that would be a terrible idea.

Edited

No but it’s lovely if you are rich and can afford to buy expensive presents and go away for nights in hotels and things. A lot of people can’t - we just prefer to use the funds on things we can do together. Doesn’t stop those than can afford it to do both.

ForUmberFinch · 29/06/2026 20:36

Speaking as a young widow, be grateful your hubby is still here. Yes he maybe missed the mark but he tried.

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