Disillusioned when earning 150k

[Littlezonedout]

I know these threads cause trouble, but this is how I feel. I can’t help but wonder when does the merry go round stop. It is worth it waking up crack of dawn, kids to breakfast club, nursery, after school club, run home, make dinner, bed, bath. Glass of wine because I’m exhausted.
if I stayed at home I’d save 20k on commuting, wraparound childcare, cleaner, gardener, etc.
fine, I can afford a house, but the maintenance, the upkeep, the bills.
not sure why I’m ranting. Know I’ll get pulled to
pieces. Just exhausted

Is your salary really the problem? There are loads of women in the U.K that do exactly what you're doing now, except they're 1/3rd of your salary, or less even.

Sounds you are disillusioned that 150k isn't getting you a better quality of life, which I wouldn't blame you for because that is a lot of money, but I wonder what you were expecting with children? They need time and input. Unless you have a live-in nanny to look after them and do all the boring parts 24hrs a day, that is just parenting.

Sorry haven’t read the full thread, just wanted to say that I was in a similar position, fairly high salary to pay for the house in the commuter belt to London, a lot of travelling, long hours, high stress. A few years ago we reassessed and sold up, moved to a cheaper part of the country and are mortgage free. We now both work in less stressful roles, and I have a much better work life balance.

The feeling you have of being trapped in the expensive area to access the work to pay for the expensive area…I had that as well and we did make the change. I thoroughly recommend it if you can!

Oh, the old bitterness comment 😜😂
If that’s your argument, you’ve lost
But then we already knew that

You’re missing the point
If we all lived frugally, you probably wouldn’t have a job
If everybody decided to do everything for themselves, I wouldn’t have a job
And therefore there’s been nothing for you to invest in and no on paper or physical gains

OP I very much empathise. Same career choices, income etc.

I realised I had a choice

• to worry about bills and howi manage to keep a roof over our head and feed our kids
• worry about work, responsibilities

I realised, as I’ve been poor and lived on income support as a single mum when that was a thing, that work stress is easier than worrying about my family.

Both my husband and I are changed to our jobs / companies we work for after having two kids to make life easier for everyone. We both work from home. Don’t need after school club, I set out to work for a flexible employer and was honest in my interview about needed to be present to pick kids up etc. and it works because I can make up the hours. Yes I may not be getting paid as much as maybe if I went for an onsite role in the city we live near but I didn’t want our lives to be this endless treadmill everyone describes, it shouldn’t need to be chaotic and exhausting all the time! Some people where it as a badge of honour but ultimately the time we get with our kids when they are small is so short! I can work more when they don’t need my as much when they are in high school!
you need to figure out what you want OP and what’s most important. Could you downsize and work less?

I earn a pittance considerably compared to the high earners on here. In spite of my university degree and working my way up the publishing career ladder, I'm worse off now aged 45 earning less than minimum wage than when I first started out, aged 25 earning nearly twice as much.

My health issues over the past decade, including a movement disorder and three concussions, haven't helped, plus three children obviously affects things too.

But I probably stand to inherit a lot from my Boomer parents and PIL, both of whom have houses worth lots (PIL's Home Counties house was bought for £27k and is now worth £800k (!)).

I would love to have been blessed to be someone whose skills were.in maths, science or something else equally higher earning. The arts pays a pittance unless you're a brilliant high flyer in a cut throat industry and then it's probably not worth it either with the work life balance. I'm not sure I'd bd cut out for it but it isn't something worth worrying about at this stage in my career 🤔🤣🤣

To be honest a lot of our friends and family are selling up and moving abroad, so keeping the salary and not facing such a punitive tax system. And not to the Middle East - Europe, Singapore, Australia, US etc. It’s something I’m resisting currently as some of my family live close and we have a good group of friends (the ones that haven’t left yet….!). But my partner is from another country, and it’s amazing what they get to keep out of their salary, and universal help with childcare. So he’s also really wanting us to leave soon also

Well yes. Exactly. He criticises people not making their own sandwiches but maybe they save by cleaning their own windows….

Makes no sense to move to Australia to escape taxes. It’s not massively different to the UK I found.

I would think the same is true in many European countries too.

Super high earners would save in Australia.
And I’ve heard a rumour that they are considering removing Visa restrictions but to be fair I’ve been hearing that for 20 years so let’s see if they actually do it

I think some coaching would be a good idea
Flexibility is worth an awful lot.

stop apologising!! You are allowed to feel how you want but feelings aren’t facts. You say working four days is frowned upon, no one died from being frowned upon ! You can’t please everyone, someone has said yes to four days I assume so crack on.

Their highest rate of tax (over A$ 190k or approx £100k) is 45% .

Ours is 45% over 125k. Now of course you need to add on NI. But there is still Medicare charge above a certain income in Oz. I just meant it’s not a massive enough difference to select Oz if your main concern is tax.

I doubt very much Australia would consider a free movement arrangement with the UK given that anti-immigrant sentiment has also hit Australia too. There current model I think has lead to them managing to avoid the intensity of the anti-migrant backlash seen in Europe or the USA while still having high rates of immigration.

If you stayed at home, you wouldn’t save 20k. You’d lose 150 (or whatever it is after tax). It would be a different type of stressful life if you suddenly took a minimum wage job.

They are also struggling with an aged population who want their pension

I often have this thought too but don’t earn three figures. We live very comfortably.

if we didn’t earn then:
how do we holiday abroad?
how do we afford our cars?
what if money becomes a worry?
how do we pay for all our days out?
how do we pay to eat out regularly?
and of course without the cleaner, we’d hVe to do it.

I totally understand your point though, like I say I often think it.

I just remind myself we’re fortunate to live comfortably and enjoy so many luxurious.

Now back to the rat race…

Yeah make sure everyone is equally struggling and reduce the incentive to earn or have anything even further. That'll learn em.

Our highest rate is 60%, between £100k and £125 k. Plus childcare bills went up a crazily to subsidise the free hours and NI - mine went up almost one third. You get no childcare help, but that’s not the same as in Aus and Europe. In Scandinavia for example taxes are spread out across the population. Rather than much more heavily loaded to higher earners.

In Aus, things are cheaper also, even in Sydney due to the exchange rate. Our friends have done their sums, have a nicer quality of life etc

It wasn’t that long ago that no one was entitled to subsidised childcare, you do realise that? It’s a few years of hardship (that you chose by choosing to have kids) and then you’ll be back to building wealth.

I haven’t seen that he criticised anyone. @Comicsareback just gave examples of things her parents didn’t buy.

And if nobody bought window cleaning Services, the Dad would be no better off than the sandwich maker 🙄

Weird that you're so judgemental towards the couple who spent THEIR money on cars and holidays. We all only get one life and if thats what they chose to do with theirs, then fair play to them. You cant take your money with you but id like to think we get to take our memories.

I used to be like this but it just wasn't worth it. Instead I have a job 75k with WFH 4 days a week. Much less stress and commuting. Downgraded the car ... Never cared about cars anyway! Still have holidays etc and more quality time now. I don't care about climbing the ladder, the people at the top were often exhausted, highly stressed and worked weekend never seeing their family. It's not for me.

But what I am saying is that people that aren’t eligible for the free hours are further subsidising those that are. I was paying less that £2k per child for 4.5 days. Then the bill went up to closer to £5.5 k. Without any free hours to deduct, we just had to pay this. If I was just paying for my own childcare at the previous rate, that would be fine