Disillusioned when earning 150k

[Littlezonedout]

I know these threads cause trouble, but this is how I feel. I can’t help but wonder when does the merry go round stop. It is worth it waking up crack of dawn, kids to breakfast club, nursery, after school club, run home, make dinner, bed, bath. Glass of wine because I’m exhausted.
if I stayed at home I’d save 20k on commuting, wraparound childcare, cleaner, gardener, etc.
fine, I can afford a house, but the maintenance, the upkeep, the bills.
not sure why I’m ranting. Know I’ll get pulled to
pieces. Just exhausted

I know exactly what you mean op. It’s like a never ending cycle. Both my kids are teenagers now, so life isn’t quite as intense as it was, although there are different pressures. It does get a bit easier.

Like you have said, you do have the option to make some changes, although they would come at a cost. I guess it depends what you’re willing to give up.

Hire a work coach.

And it is your identity that would have to change. The rest is just logistics.

No it's not worth it if you're not sure what you're doing it for, doesn't sound worth it to me. Do you have other options.

I don’t feel I have other options. I work a niche role
so wouldn’t be able to move. Even if I did it’s the same shit ima different logo

Ive done it on a 26k single parent wage and a combined household of 100k..... it doesnt matter how much you earn. You are outsourcing as much as possible to try create a balance. It does get easier the older they get..... the question is, at what cost is it to you? Do the children crave your attention? Are weekends spend doing mental tasks or quality time with the kids?

If you are sacrificing quality time.with your child over a nice house, car etc then id def be looking to reduce workload.

I stayed at home until my youngest was 5.

less logistics but psychologically lonely.

Any way you can change an aspect to make it easier. The rat race of long hours and commuting is exactly why I still live in a 2 bed flat near work. Little upkeep and maximise time with the children, no commute costs.

I guess I just feel trapped. If I was to try something new, and it didn’t work out, I wouldn’t be able to return to my previous industry.

We recently moved to the country, my idea, my persuasion. The commute is not too bad, an hour. The inflexibility of my employer is getting me down today I think

Yanbu. I don’t think it’s worth it. I was like you once (Lol not as well paid!) but I realised I was miserable and missing out.

Your job - Is it niche because of where you live geographically, or because of the job itself? I wonder if relocating to do a similar or related job might be a better option.

I managed to get myself in a job away from London where I earn 20k less than I did 15 years ago, but I only work 25 hours a week. I stepped my career down, instead of pushing up into a higher level. Life is so much better and I don’t regret it for a minute.

It’s niche because of the job itself. I doubt another role
would come up in the next 10 years.

I quite enjoy the work, but the hours and presenteeism are wearing on me.

we couldn’t afford the house without my income. I can’t quite place my unhappiness

Can you afford to drop a day? 4-days-a-week is a lot more than 4/5 of the money because of the tax, and hugely reduces the rat-race feeling.

I paid 10k in tax this month and 3k in nursery fees. My neighbour pays £200 a month for nursery. Sorry if it’s wrong but I feel resentful

I’m currently working a 4day week post maternity and it’s very much frowned upon

You might do this already but if you’re on 150k (120k for 4 days) then definitely look at your adjusted income (after pension) compared to the tax free childcare threshold. You might find that putting a bit more into pension reduces your childcare bill quite a bit.

Also, realistically, even if a 4-day-week is frowned on can you not stick to your guns and just be frowned on? If it’ll be hard for you to find a new role because it’s very niche, it’ll also probably be hard for them to re-recruit….

I'm balancing the same things on 70k. There are loads of people out there on the same merry go round earning minimum wage.

I have looked into this. It’s a balance between needing the money for our outgoings and pension contributions. I can everything I can into pension but with recent expenses it’s not been possible.
I will get slated here I’m very much aware .

You’re 70k is probably closer to 90k with childcare? Whilst I pay full whack on a cliff edge

This sort of comparison is unhelpful and will get you nowhere.
As they say, resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.

Objectively you are only trapped by your own fear. You could do a wide range of things.

I know people who live happy lives earning much less and taking more risks (not wild risks, but for example running a business or working for a charity they care about).

You need to decide what you want to do with your one life, and stop worrying about other people's finances.

Yes I do, but it’s difficult when colleagues make comments about it. I rise above, but it grates.
i would also lose company benefits going part time

You won't get 'slated' but you're only trapped by yourself. If you don't want to live the life you've chosen, choose to change it. If what matters to you is your pension contributions, embrace it.

Don't moan about other people, you've no idea what they're dealing with.

I need to know what the job is, genuinely curious.

But that aside, its easy to be filled with a false sense of security whwn earning high. Then it feels like you are living a champagne life on beer tokens.

Living in the country, fab!! But you are not getting to enjoy the lifestyle that it comes.with.

Genuinely I think id need to.weigh up sucking it up til school years start or move back closer. Gaining that extra hour a day isnt alot to some but can be mindblowingly the difference between burn out and living.

No I’m very much aware of that. Hence trying to find a way out. Yes I agree, I’m trapped by a fear of a life I won’t be able to afford. Don’t get me wrong, we’re not big spenders. But we leveraged heavily on a mortgage but a house we love - yet dictated by our commute

IT jobs. Cyber security. Software. Data analyst I know earning 350k.

theres loads of engineers.

Maybe I could change, but if I sack It all in and start earning. 30k how do I pay the mortgage?I have to uproot the whole family. It impacts everyone