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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to say no to my teenage daughter?

163 replies

NoTeaForMe · 25/06/2026 22:15

My 15 year old DD wants to go to the beach tomorrow with a few friends (school is closed due to the heatwave). It’s around 1hr 15mins away by train and they want to stay all day. Trying to give bare minimum facts, what would you say?

OP posts:
TheJuryIsOut · 26/06/2026 14:37

Yes I'd absolutely let her go, there'd be a few of conditions (sun cream, hat, at least one bottle of water, no swimming in the sea) but there's not a chance I'd stop her.

waterrat · 26/06/2026 14:41

I live.on the south coast and am astonished by this thread. I would consider it completely normal behaviour for a teen to go to the beach with friends. Our very long local beach is covered in groups of teenagers from about 12 up really.

As for the miserable people saying kids should stay indoors or do homework....give over. ..let them live a little ! They are in school bloody hours every day this is a rare treat.

TheJuryIsOut · 26/06/2026 14:43

NoTeaForMe · 26/06/2026 12:57

It is a shame for her, I agree, I feel bad for her and she’s not happy today, but at 38 degrees I still feel it’s unsafe to be out all day. For anyone, her age adds to it because I’m not convinced she’d drink water, find shade or replace sun cream enough.

she is a confident swimmer, but has only swum in the sea a handful of times so that’s a totally different thing in my eyes.

10 degrees cooler would be 28 degrees - we’d count that as a hot day in the uk under normal circumstances! But ok, say 8 degrees cooler that would be 30. I feel that’s getting a bit nitpicky. At the end of the day it’s so hot here we have a red weather warning and are advised against non essential travel.

Ah it really is a shame op, it could have been a good opportunity for her to show you that she can be responsible for things like water intake/sun cream and keeping herself safe. I'd try and make an effort to say yes next time just so she doesn't start hiding stuff from you. And I'm not saying you should say yes to everything just because she might hide things, but if she really is the only one that isn't going she will probably be extremely annoyed/upset about it and might just sneak off next time without telling you.

Coconutter24 · 26/06/2026 14:51

PollyBell · 25/06/2026 22:53

It gets cancelled and? how on earth did parents raise kids in the past without neurosis?

Show quote history

Well you couldn’t think of a reason so I pointed out one reason. The train gets cancelled then the DD is stuck an hour and 15 minutes away from home. Which then inconveniences the parent if they have to go get them. It’s nothing to do with neurosis, it’s just it’s too hot to be put out like that

CurlewKate · 26/06/2026 15:11

Is it a beach they’re used to? Are they sensible? I’d probably say yes if so.

Kim5678 · 26/06/2026 15:21

I live near the beach and it’s been 37° here, it’s unbearable for me in the sun with the heat of the pebbles and glare of the sea. But obviously when you’re in and out of the sea it’s much cooler as the sea is very cold and even a paddle is enough to cool you down. I think sunburn from spf washing off and potential train delays would be the only issues for me

Lovingmynewlifestyle · 26/06/2026 17:31

Doing the day trip would not be my issue. It is the sun and heat, that is the issue for me. No matter how much I taught my children about burning, the first holiday on their own as adults they burnt themselves badly.

Vaxtable · 26/06/2026 17:58

No

GoldInYourSmile · 26/06/2026 18:52

If she and her friends are sensible, let them go. I was taking two trains and bus on a 3 hour trip to Alton Towers with friends at her age.

Original poster
NoTeaForMe · 26/06/2026 19:13

GoldInYourSmile · 26/06/2026 18:52

If she and her friends are sensible, let them go. I was taking two trains and bus on a 3 hour trip to Alton Towers with friends at her age.

In 38 degrees heat though?

OP posts:
CurlewKate · 27/06/2026 09:20

Wtafdidido · 25/06/2026 22:22

I would say yes but on the condition her life 369 remains active and she checks in regularly and answers her phone if we call her. If she’s not happy about this then she does t go

How does Life 360 help? Genuine question, by the way. I just don’t understand what good it would do.

Sillyme1 · 27/06/2026 09:31

I would say go, withe proviso of heat/health/safety issues being followed. Better she goes and you know where she is, than if you say no and she goes anyway! I was going all over the place at 14 and I think it is a shame young people do not have the freedoms we had. She’s got to grow up one day

ForPlumReader · 27/06/2026 09:42

She'll be absolutely fine as long as she is mature enough to remember and put plenty of cream on and drink enough. Most 15 year olds are perfectly capable.

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