AIBU to say no to my teenage daughter?

[NoTeaForMe]

My 15 year old DD wants to go to the beach tomorrow with a few friends (school is closed due to the heatwave). It’s around 1hr 15mins away by train and they want to stay all day. Trying to give bare minimum facts, what would you say?

That is so tough when you're the only parent saying no but I think as long as you explain to her your reasoning, and that you just love her too much to allow her to take those risks, that's all you can do.

Nine people died in water during the last hot spell.
Trains are utterly unreliable in this heat.
It’s going to be 35c+ in certain areas tomorrow - beaches are not known for shade.
School is closed because there is a danger to life -not to go for a jolly.
Im all for kids being allowed to be independent-but this would be a hard no from me.
It sounds like a recipe for disaster.

The op said in her post school is closed

Yes, let her go. Make sure she has her phone on her, charged.

Any other time. I hear it will be up in the mid 30's tomorrow.
I'll barely get out of the house.

She’s 15? Surely she knows how to keep herself safe in the sun and water?

The OP literally said very clearly in her post that her DD’s school is closed tomorrow.

At 15yo I would have said yes and just really re-inforced how important it is to re-apply sunscreen. I'm confident my children can swim in the sea though and could from an early age. If they weren't I may be hesitant.

But I'm not really sure how you would stop a 15yo going anywhere that they really want to?! I was quite headstrong at 15 and would have just gone anyway😂

Sorry, are you saying I’m not worried about the heat? I can assure you I am. What do you mean “definitely on my watchlist” ?

There are hundreds of plane loads of people jetting off to holiday destinations a similar temperature to lie on a beach. Struggling to understand how someone doing the same thing in the uk is risking their life?

She’s 15? Surely she knows how to keep herself safe in the sun and water?

At the temperatures now hitting Europe? Up into the mid- and late 30's.

It's unprecedented. People are dying in France - 40 I last heard. And Spain, more like 400.

Let her go to the corner shop OP and get a pint of milk, bring it straight back home. See if she still wants to go out again.

I wouldn't. Chill out at home I say.

Well my 16 had been to the beach with his mates multiple times in the last few weeks but he has just finished school. He eas allowed to go mast year when he was 15 too. However, we live near the sea so have spent a lot of time with our kids at the beach. Ds surfs and knows all about rip currents and how cold deep water is not nearly the same as a swimming pool and is very sensible.

Seemingly not & the they sneer. 🙄🙄

Because it's a whole day at the beach, I'd be concerned about shelter, a pop-up shade tent, for instance. I know as I write this that no teen is going to the beach by train carrying such a thing.

I'd probably say yes, they can cool down in the sea (and sewage!) and the sea breeze. Sounds like a fun day that they may remember.
Getting a train home may be troublesome if they're cancelled due to the heat though.

I’d let mine go. We’ve pretty much lived at the beach these past few days: the water is great to cool off in and the lower temperature of the sea compared to the land causes a lovely breeze that keeps you feeling fresh. The kids have been playing about on paddle boards and inflatables and having a whale of a time. UV shorts/rash tops and hats to stop them burning is all you need and it’s much nicer than sitting in a hot house with the curtains drawn all day!

Also most of the recent open water deaths have been kids jumping into deep reservoirs or rivers where they’re plunged straight in to icy water or caught out by hidden hazards. A safe beach where you wade into the water and gradually acclimatise is completely different.

I would let her go. Fifteen minutes away by train is not far. It will be nice at the beach but do ensure she has adequate sun screen and stays hydrated.

Why are people saying, "No"? She is fifteen, not eleven.

1 hour 15 mins

I live by the coast, the trains have been messed up and cancelled for days (hot tracks), my biggest concern would be getting home

I think it means you have an MN stalker! And I would say no too, my DD is Y10.

How can she "ensure she ..... stays hydrated" if @NoTeaForMe isnt there? You can send a teenager with three gallons each of sun cream and water but if they wont use them then they dont use them.

It’s an hour and fifteen minutes away not 15 minutes.

You haven’t said if she is sensible or not? What are her friends like?

Ny DD is the same age and went to the beach today, but we live in a seaside town. I had reservations as she is not always sensible and was worried about her getting burnt or dehydrating but she was fine. I figured that I won’t be able to forbid her in a year or so.

Friends on a different section of the beach said there was a lovely cool breeze compared to a couple of miles inland.

However, I had to travel for work yesterday on the train and it was an absolute shit show it took me many hours and multiple diversions to get home, so I wouldn’t let your daughter go unless enough parents were willing and able to go and get them if required.

I would only say no because of the travel advice by train companies. Our infrastructure in this country is shit, and they can’t cope. It’s not worth risking traveling over an hour by train if there’s a chance the return journey could be cancelled or severely delayed.

Otherwise, on a normal “none heatwave” summers day, a group of teens going to the beach is absolutely fine. Although you need to be sure she’s fully aware of the dangers of swimming in the sea, and knows she needs to keep hydrated and regularly top up sun screen.

They are recommending not using the trains unless you have to, loads are getting cancelled.

Oh, yes, I now see the '1hr', missed it on first glance. Sorry.

Still not that far for a day out and she will be with friends, Just drill in to her to keep head covered when sitting on the beach, wear sunscreen, drink plenty of water and she will be fine. They'll all have a good time as long as they are sensible, no doubt the other parents are giving strict guidelines.