AIBU to say no to my teenage daughter?

[NoTeaForMe]

My 15 year old DD wants to go to the beach tomorrow with a few friends (school is closed due to the heatwave). It’s around 1hr 15mins away by train and they want to stay all day. Trying to give bare minimum facts, what would you say?

The OP will probably say that her DD's school is closed tomorrow.

Unless op partner is a teenager then your point makes no sense. I don't want to sound mean but teenagers are idiots they think their invincible and don't see dangers like adults do. I was the same.

She's already said this. Does nobody actually read the OP any more?

Totally irresponsible to be going out for the day tomorrow as not necessary. The heat is a risk to life. Stay home

Too many risks IMO

Drowning - see France
Sunstroke
Bad sunburn
Train breaking down due to heat/tracks etc & getting stranded either there or worse on the train
Alcohol

A group of 15 year olds has a high chance of doing something stupid - and in a very hot beach scenario a stupid decision could be very serious. IME even if each 15 year old is usually sensible on their own , teens do more stupid things in a group and in a “holiday” mood.

Isn’t there somewhere closer by they can go? Water fight in someone’s garden (offer yours?) and pizza?

I’ve already said this actually. Not sure of your point.

Absolutely not. It’s so hot there’s a risk to life. What are the chances of them staying the shade, reapplying sun cream and drinking enough water?!

Although I do think her age makes a difference. (It concerns me she won’t think of getting out the sun, drinking water etc etc.) I do also see your point. And to be honest we wouldn’t be going to the beach tomorrow. It’s too hot and I do think it would be miserable and dangerous with very limited shade.

It's not essential travel so no.
Fine if they stick closer to home.

I’d only be worried about her being in the scorching hot sun all day. My DD15 hasn’t asked but had she I wouldn’t know if I’d let her or not, sorry @NoTeaForMe I’m no help with this.

if there’s no shade - and you’ve just said there’s hardly any - and you think they might be drinking alcohol ( when did this get normal for 15 year olds) then that changes everything

And to be honest we wouldn’t be going to the beach tomorrow. It’s too hot and I do think it would be miserable and dangerous with very limited shade.

Exactly. The fact that she hasn’t thought about this perspective demonstrates she isn’t grown up enough to think about dangers. Not a criticism, she’s only 15, I wouldn’t expect her to.

Being on a train for over two hours in weather like this is bonkers.

Why can’t they go next weekend when the temperature will be safer

Age definitely makes a difference. You’re responsible for the 15 yo, a 21 yo is responsible for themselves - and by then should have learned all the ‘take-care-in-the-Sun’ lessons when being guided through childhood.

Think I'd be concerned about the current train issues and being stuck on long bus rides in the heat getting back. That's without the lack of shade on the beach, forgetting to reapply sunscreen, risk of sunburn, dehydration and then the risks of swimming in the sea in the heat. Even the most sensible of 15yr olds can be swayed by their peers not to be sensible.
It's hard as you don't want to spoil her fun but there's probably other parents of the group that will be saying no. Can you text any of them to see what they've decided?

I let DD got to Crete with her bf for a week when she was 15 😂but they are still together 8 years now and are very happy so it all worked out fine. They need a bit of freedom at 15!

At any other time I’d say yes, but in this heat, I wouldn’t let her go. The trains will either not be running or will be packed, and there is unlikely to be any shade at the beach. The school is closed to keep everyone safe. Tomorrow is not the day to go to the beach. I’d be worried about her getting sunstroke! Have you got a garden they can come and hang out in instead?

No. Travel has been warned against unless essential and the heat makes the risk of accident or incident much higher. Having a 15 year old brain makes the likelihood of them forgetting to drink water/remembering to drink alcohol/take risks in the water/get burned/be impulsive much higher than even in.a year's time.
Any other non heatwave day probably yes depending on the group and her general maturity..

The train home might get cancelled

Depends on the railway. If Southern, I'd say probably not!

No. Too hot. Beaches are exposed with no shade.

And have you seen all the sexual assaults happening now at Bournemouth beach? No way.

I think it was more common for 15 year olds to drink in the 90s. It’s really not a new thing.

What kind of sea is it? Calm and sheltered or strong tides and windy? when we were 15 after GCSE’s four mates and I rented a cottage on the north west coast and had a few nights there . Maybe a couple of us were 16 come to think of it but fully independent at that age! Went on the train. Are your daughter and her friends sensible types?

The others are all going so she’s missing out. God, parenting a teenager is so hard. I hate for her to be sad and disappointed and that she’s missing out but I can’t say yes because of that. Why did I think a baby and toddler was hard?! This is next level!!