to ask my neighbour to bring her laundry in?

[Lookingback01]

I've name changed for this because I feel a bit silly to be posting, but it's driving me crazy so I need some advice.

We live in a new build next door to another couple who recently moved in. Our gardens are pretty close together and only really separated by a small fence that we can easily see over when standing.

We're all mid-thirties and they're a nice enough couple, are polite and friendly, keep themselves to themselves and are pretty quiet, so no problems there.

The issue I'm having is that the woman is objectively beautiful, very toned, slim, etc. Today she's obviously taking full advantage of the lovely weather we're having here and has decided to hang her underwear out on the line to dry. When I say underwear, I'm not talking about the simple black briefs and maternity bras that I'm currently wearing, but beautiful skimpy Victoria's Secret type stuff.

I don't know if it's my hormones or what the issue is, but this is making me feel so jealous because I keep thinking that my DH is looking at her underwear and will start to fancy her, if he doesn't already.

I was thinking that I could write her a small, friendly note just asking if she would mind bringing them inside. I mean, they're so skimpy that they'll probably be dry by now, anyway. I don't have the nerve to ask her face to face because part of me knows I'm being ridiculous, but I can't help how I feel and have been sitting here crying all afternoon imagining her and my DH together.

He thinks I'm acting crazy and said that if I send her a note, he will go to his mum's for the night because it would be absolutely mortifying.

AIBU?

Pregnancy hormones do weird things to your emotions and rationality.

Add in this heat and 🤯

But DO NOT in anyway act on them 🤣

Congratulations btw

Duplicate

Is it only thongs you take issue with?
Are granny pants okay?
How do you hang items of clothing up modestly?

Dh puts our washing out sometimes including my bras and pants be them sexy ones or my bog standard black thongs.

So in my house it certainly isn’t me doing it for the neighbours pleasure.

Also though I couldn’t tell you what my neighbours put on their line or don’t as it very rarely catches my eye to end up on my radar. Maybe if I’ve looked out the window and see bed sheets and then I’ll likely copy and do a load of bedding because good idea! 👍🏻

If you are with someone who would leave you for the neighbours underwear it’s not going to last - this is a unreasonable and illogical thought process - there’s something else going on -

Keep your skidders - of all variety - indoors to dry perhaps.

I never see undies on neighbours lines and they're not seeing mine.

bonkers

Oh bless you 💐

You know objectively that you’re absolutely crackers, but pregnancy + heat can do the most horrendous things to you

Lots and lots of cold drinks, ice, ice cream and multiple fans needed, and a box of tissues if you’re still sobbing. You will look back on this one day and laugh/cringe, but at the moment it probably feels very raw and very real

Be kind to yourself, and don’t do anything that you’re going to regret later x

Seek therapy.

I'll have to see if I can find any sale items. I hate wearing a bra so that sounds like heaven!

You’re the one with the problems.

Yeah, it's your hormones.
When I was pregnant, I was watching Cyndi Lauper singing 'Girls just wanna have fun' on MTV. I started bawling my head off. When my husband got in from work I sobbed "I'll ever have fun again" at him 😆

Bat shit 🤣🤣🤣

She’s hanging her laundry out. She’s using her washing line for what it’s intended to be used for.

If you think she’s deliberately trying to upset the OP or “entice” OP’s husband with her “skidders” then I’m sorry but you’re another weird one with issues.

Well if yours are “skidders”, I’m not surprised you keep them indoors.

What on earth are skidders?

Aside from being a batshit thing to post, 9/10 the DH of women who are this insecure look like they’ve just trotted out from under a bridge and are not, in fact, cat nip to every woman around them.

Thank god in this case the DH seems to have his head screwed on despite the fact his partner has such a low opinion of him.

Are you the same women that thought her husband was flirting with the women on TV the other day? 🤔

Please get this in perspective. You need to reassure yourself. Is your self esteem really low? Are you insecure. These are the issues that need dealing with. Not the neighbours knickers. Or as you say it’s hormones. But. Remember. Hormones take the lid off things and allow the truth to come up. So maybe you’ve been suppressing insecurities? 💜

Jesus Christ. Absolutely DO NOT ask her not to hang her undies on her washing line.

I read the three pages hoping no-one else had made the point that I wanted to make, but you have @Butchyrestingface 😭 Anyway, you made your point nice and succinctly, and anyone who recognises my user name will know that I would much rather spend an hour (or more) writing a not nice and long response to whoever the OP of any particular thread might be!

So, here is the version I hoped to get in before anyone else had a chance 😉

@Lookingback01 I am so sorry that you are going through such a rotten time at the moment, but may I suggest another side to the one that has made you so unhappy?

What if your attractive next door neighbour desperately wants to have a baby, and that she and her partner have already gone through two attempts at IVF, but have had no luck so far? Your maternity clothes - not even necessarily your underwear - hanging there on your washing line for hours at a time, might cause her a lot of painful feelings, but hopefully she would be sensible enough to realise that it would be totally unfair of her to ask you to not hang your clothes on the line just because seeing them, triggers her every single time?

If you are reading this OP, please don't reply here that it wouldn't bother you if your neighbour asked you to not hang your maternity clothes on the line, as you would understand her problem and would, therefore, be happy you could help her to feel better. Why I am asking you to not reply with such a response is because that is not the point I am trying to explain! You wanting to ask your neighbour to not put her unies on the line would be extremely embarrassing for her, very unfair, and totally inappropriate. I'm sorry for being so brutal OP! I do hope that your hormones, and this oppressive heat, settle down soon, and that you can enjoy the rest of your pregnancy 🩷 xxx

Oh my love I think it’s the pregnancy hormones making you feel like this. Hopefully your DH can reassure you that he finds you very attractive as you are! But I’d try to contain your crazy jealous thoughts and not share with him going forwards as you do risk pushing him away. Highly recommend hot milk for practical supportive and attractive nursing bras.

It's your pregnancy hormones. I've blown things up during pregnancy before that we laugh about now!

An undergarment worn to cover the genital and anal areas of the body. Sometimes known as pants, knickers or grundies.

"Skidders" might sometimes refer more specifically to the above described undergarment if it has been, or regularly is besmirched by "skidmarks", "scooter tracks", "go-faster stripes" or "brown bruising".

Oh ffs she can hang wtf she wants out.😂😂😂

In other words, worn by someone who doesn’t wipe their arse.