to ask my neighbour to bring her laundry in?

[Lookingback01]

I've name changed for this because I feel a bit silly to be posting, but it's driving me crazy so I need some advice.

We live in a new build next door to another couple who recently moved in. Our gardens are pretty close together and only really separated by a small fence that we can easily see over when standing.

We're all mid-thirties and they're a nice enough couple, are polite and friendly, keep themselves to themselves and are pretty quiet, so no problems there.

The issue I'm having is that the woman is objectively beautiful, very toned, slim, etc. Today she's obviously taking full advantage of the lovely weather we're having here and has decided to hang her underwear out on the line to dry. When I say underwear, I'm not talking about the simple black briefs and maternity bras that I'm currently wearing, but beautiful skimpy Victoria's Secret type stuff.

I don't know if it's my hormones or what the issue is, but this is making me feel so jealous because I keep thinking that my DH is looking at her underwear and will start to fancy her, if he doesn't already.

I was thinking that I could write her a small, friendly note just asking if she would mind bringing them inside. I mean, they're so skimpy that they'll probably be dry by now, anyway. I don't have the nerve to ask her face to face because part of me knows I'm being ridiculous, but I can't help how I feel and have been sitting here crying all afternoon imagining her and my DH together.

He thinks I'm acting crazy and said that if I send her a note, he will go to his mum's for the night because it would be absolutely mortifying.

AIBU?

You have been crying all afternoon imagining her and your husband together because she’s drying her clothes on her own washing line. I think you need some professional support-talk to your midwife.

OP aside from this particular issue I would seriously consider getting a higher fence or plant something alongside the existing fence. I would hate not having that privacy.

Unless your neighbour is weirdly invested in your marriage - you should not ask her to help keep your husband's lusting looks in line!

If it seems reasonable - you could ask him to wear blinkers? Or just keep him so busy fulfilling many urgent pregnancy demands that he is too exhausted to think of anything :)

Really though - you have my sympathy. Pregnancy does terrible things to your self-image. Just remember that he really loves and lusts after you. The pregnancy is evidence of this - and something he is likely to be very proud of. Beauty and sexiness are in the eyes of the beholder.

Fair enough if she was hanging out gimp masks and leather straps but how on earth is a few bras and frilly thongs “grim”?

Maybe go inside and have a cold drink. Lay down and fan yourself.

Crying all afternoon because your neighbour hung her wash out including sexy undies is not healthy at all.

Yeah right 🙄🙄🙄

Haha! i was going to suggest buying some cheap white Y-Fronts a la Michael Winner (showing my age) ans staining them with tea.

Those are hideous.

If true, this is up there in top 5 of craziest things i’ve seen on here. I’d be leaving forever if I was your DH if you sent a note like that.

You’ve got issues!!!

Is this a reverse? Are your gorgeous undies on the line and your weird neighbour has sent you a note???

If I trusted my dh this little id be embarrassed to let on to my neighbours. Im cringing for you that you’d even think of doing this.

Could it be that because you are pregnant / a mum (maternity bras) you are mourning your old self and imagining the loss of your sexiness?

Neighbour sounds joylessly pert OP. Also lacy undies will go hard as hay in this sun,
what an amateur.

The OP is!! This place never fails to disappoint.

I don’t wanna see ya g string babes! Depends what the underwear is I suppose. I just find any a bit grim hahaaaa like I said you can hang it in a modest way 👌

This has to be a joke ....Right

This is the best answer. I'm not exactly hot stuff any more. Yet I wouldn't hang up anything like that if I owned it. I really do think it's attention seeking. Mine goes indoors no matter what. If you feel she is being an attention seeking person, I absolutely believe you OP.

So the issue is how to block view out. It's also looking at whether there is ever anything your partner does or has done to make you feel insecure. Wandering eyeballs too often for example.

If it's about you and your own appearance then think of ways in the future when you're ready to work on that.

The priority right now is block the undies parade and any other viewing access. Bamboo is great for privacy, trellis on top of fence for height. Lots of options. Block block block.

No letter. Tell husband the heat got to you yesterday and you're now laughing about it.

What have you said to your husband for him to even become aware of undies 🤣 I'm sorry op pregnancy hormones can be crazy and you are really vulnerable and not feeling your best but even you must see how utterly bonkers this is x

Don’t look at my g strings then babes…

And what is a “modest way” of hanging washing out? I’m intrigued.

You sound as insecure and weird as the OP.

Do it, and then report back.
Give me time to chill the wine though.

Sure.

It's not weird. I have a pretty good figure, I used to have an excellent figure.

I would not then - and do not now - hang out my skimpy skidders, and never would some lacy number, if it's easily viewable.

Neighbour is 100% aware what she's doing.

but I can't help how I feel and have been sitting here crying all afternoon

Please speak to your midwife or GP. This is not normal even with pregnancy hormones, but you do need help.

It really shouldn’t upset you this much - perhaps look for professional help.

Honestly your neighbour is going to think you’re some kind of unhinged weirdo if you do this. Please don’t.

hang them up behind a pillow cases and duvet covers I expect. Madness.