to ask my neighbour to bring her laundry in?

[Lookingback01]

I've name changed for this because I feel a bit silly to be posting, but it's driving me crazy so I need some advice.

We live in a new build next door to another couple who recently moved in. Our gardens are pretty close together and only really separated by a small fence that we can easily see over when standing.

We're all mid-thirties and they're a nice enough couple, are polite and friendly, keep themselves to themselves and are pretty quiet, so no problems there.

The issue I'm having is that the woman is objectively beautiful, very toned, slim, etc. Today she's obviously taking full advantage of the lovely weather we're having here and has decided to hang her underwear out on the line to dry. When I say underwear, I'm not talking about the simple black briefs and maternity bras that I'm currently wearing, but beautiful skimpy Victoria's Secret type stuff.

I don't know if it's my hormones or what the issue is, but this is making me feel so jealous because I keep thinking that my DH is looking at her underwear and will start to fancy her, if he doesn't already.

I was thinking that I could write her a small, friendly note just asking if she would mind bringing them inside. I mean, they're so skimpy that they'll probably be dry by now, anyway. I don't have the nerve to ask her face to face because part of me knows I'm being ridiculous, but I can't help how I feel and have been sitting here crying all afternoon imagining her and my DH together.

He thinks I'm acting crazy and said that if I send her a note, he will go to his mum's for the night because it would be absolutely mortifying.

AIBU?

I'd like to think this is a temporary insanity brought on by pregnancy hormones.

No, OP, don't do anything. For the love of God.

Have a cold drink and a lie-down.

I would put up a higher fence between you.

I wouldn't want neighbours to see my underwear, so I get where you're coming from

But you can't ask her to bring hers in

Sorry hormones are messing with your head

Buy yourself some nice knickers

YABU, OP! You are reducing women (us) to visually appealing commodities like a nice handbag or pair of shoes and not factoring in any of the other aspects that go towards the formation of relationships and mutual attraction.

So she’s objectively good looking. While he might, just like you, find her visually attractive that does not mean he will feel attracted - that’s totally different! The aesthetic “beauty” scale exists and we’re all on it somewhere (you know symmetry, “easy on the eye”, and all that), but the dynamics of human attraction operate outside of it.

Calm down - just because your neighbour is high on the aesthetic scale, doesn’t mean she’ll be high on the dynamic one when it comes to your husband! 💖

This!

YABU on so many levels, sorry.
I know you’re feeling vulnerable but I fully clicked on this expecting this washing to be obstructing you in some way but this must be the most unhinged post of the day.

I am aware that I was rather irrational at times when I had DD1 but this really is bananas.

If it was the other way round and your DH was so consumed with thoughts of you shagging your male neighbour that he was crying with jealousy then people on here would be calling him abusive and begging you to leave.

I'm not surprised your DH said he'd go to his mum's if you sent a note. I would die of embarrassment in his shoes too!

🤣 Diabolical you are!

Rightio.

Haha that’s brilliant! Or should I say, frilliant 😁

Thank you for a wonderful post from a male voice of reason that will surely help the OP.

You can't help how you feel, but you can't ask her to take her underwear in because you'll end up looking like 'the crazy, possessive wife next door'. You could buy your own sexy underwear to wear, wash, and hang in your own garden!

This is off the scale bat shit mentality.

Do you let your DH walk through the lingerie section of M&S? Or are you worried he’s going to start humping the size 8 mannequin with perky tits?

Some people do naturally put on more weight than others when they're pregnant though. I only gained the weight of the baby, placenta, fluid etc. and pinged back to my pre-baby weight as soon as they were born both times. I then lost more weight while breastfeeding, but I didn't go around being judgy towards women who happened to have the opposite experience. It's mostly blind luck.

Would she be interested in him and is he better looking than her own partner?
If the answer is no then I suggest you get over it. He’s a man and if she’s attractive, he will have noticed but that doesn’t mean anything would happen.

Asking her to that would make you look unbelievably bat shit and she'd probably assume you were in some kind of mental crisis

Please tell me this is a joke,iam actually cringing for you.please do not embarrass yourself, you'll be the laughing stock of the neighbours

Sorry, it may be the heat. Please don’t follow with this idea. It’s a bit like a drunk text You’ll regret it

I wouldn’t be too gleeful just yet OP. I jumped on the circle line after work to run an errand and it was working fine. Am now on the Central line on my way home, also fine. Sorry to disappoint.

That’s possibly a bit more than just hormones, are you struggling in other ways with your mental health or general thought processes? The good thing about pregnancy is regular access to medical care, so perhaps have a chat with midwife who can refer you to perinatal mental health team in your area? Something to consider if you’re not laughing this off as a weird pregnancy moment later on.

Your neighbours are strange. I can’t see how any reasonable person could be offended by a line of clean washing blowing in the wind. It is a totally normal thing to do that people have been doing for ever all over rhe world.

Sounds like hormones to me, I cried over some silly things when pregnant. Please don't write the letter though.

My old neighbour asked me not to hang my skimpies outdoors as she didn’t want her husband looking at them. As they dry quickly anyway it’s no big deal to hang them indoors. That was years ago and im still careful that others don’t see my underwear drying.

You would make yourself look absolutely ridiculous.