to ask my neighbour to bring her laundry in?

[Lookingback01]

I've name changed for this because I feel a bit silly to be posting, but it's driving me crazy so I need some advice.

We live in a new build next door to another couple who recently moved in. Our gardens are pretty close together and only really separated by a small fence that we can easily see over when standing.

We're all mid-thirties and they're a nice enough couple, are polite and friendly, keep themselves to themselves and are pretty quiet, so no problems there.

The issue I'm having is that the woman is objectively beautiful, very toned, slim, etc. Today she's obviously taking full advantage of the lovely weather we're having here and has decided to hang her underwear out on the line to dry. When I say underwear, I'm not talking about the simple black briefs and maternity bras that I'm currently wearing, but beautiful skimpy Victoria's Secret type stuff.

I don't know if it's my hormones or what the issue is, but this is making me feel so jealous because I keep thinking that my DH is looking at her underwear and will start to fancy her, if he doesn't already.

I was thinking that I could write her a small, friendly note just asking if she would mind bringing them inside. I mean, they're so skimpy that they'll probably be dry by now, anyway. I don't have the nerve to ask her face to face because part of me knows I'm being ridiculous, but I can't help how I feel and have been sitting here crying all afternoon imagining her and my DH together.

He thinks I'm acting crazy and said that if I send her a note, he will go to his mum's for the night because it would be absolutely mortifying.

AIBU?

Just sending you a massive hug. Pregnancy is so bloody tough. Is your husband still giving you reassurance that he fancies you / thinks you’re beautiful and so on? I’d chat to him about how insecure you’re feeling as that sounds like the root of the issue. But you definitely can’t ask your neighbour to bring her pants inside!

Given that husbands and fathers commit child sexual abuse at a far higher rate than clergy, perhaps the hot neighbour only has a chance with seducing wives.

I feel sorry for you that you’re that jealous 😔 I used to be the same and it’d taken me a long time to become more secure in myself. I’m surprised you told DH as you’ve now just brought it to his attention! If you trust him and don’t want to cause issues you need to work on this. Hormones make you act irrationally.
PLEASE DONT SEND A NOTE! She will think you’re crazy and it will cause an issue that doesn’t exist.

You need some CBT therapy to work on your trust and jealousy issues.

The reason I clicked on this thread was that I had just walked past my neighbour's washing line and thought how cheerful her pretty sheets looked, and wondered if I should make more use of my washing line.

I thought someone would have hung something outrageous to dry like a giant striped marquee blocking everyone's light, or something unusual like ritual witchcraft robes.

Maybe I should have envied my neighbour her Sex Sheets.

This can’t be real!

You sound insane! You would give your neighbours the funniest anecdote if you made this request 😂

Tempted to hang my skimpy lingerie out to see if any neighbours make a comment 🤭

I mean, coveting one's neighbour's undies is exactly the kind of thing that eats away at the soul, no joke.

Temptresses sometimes turn into great saints..

It would be simpler if Hot Neighbour could be suspected of turning into a water serpent on Wednesdays, and then one could simply burn her at the stake.

You cant ask that of her !
If it bugs you so much hang one or two sheets on yours so you cant see them.

If this is serious, a pastoral chat with a GP or doula or chaplain really would be in order. Jealousy will also make a child's life miserable when there are children to 'compete with'.

Absolutely not insecure, just not weird hun. Agree with pp, she 100% knows what she’s doing. It’s grim behaviour 😬

Honestly, who marries, and breeds with, a man dumb enough to be so easily led by a pair of frilly knickers…? 🙄 And why is it your neighbour’s responsibilty if he is? Get a bloody grip woman.

Hi there

I found the pregnancy hormones sent me quite peculiar and look back feeling really aghast at the way they made me feel, and the things they made me think, say and do.

These utterly plagued me following the birth of my first child too, and I became what I would consider (many years on) slightly unhinged, very frightened, very paranoid and overwhelmed.

So, these feelings are not really “yours”, they belong to the bloody hormones.

I am really sorry you are going through this particular wringer, but I think the hormones caused me to fixate on the strangest things. If it wasn’t your neighbour’s underwear on the line, it could be something even more off the wall.

I did find counselling really helpful when I finally got it- and I had it during and after my second pregnancy because I think that these crazy hormonally induced thoughts can sometimes be a prelude to post-partum depression. So I wish someone had said to me what I am saying to you now, back then.

Were I you, I’d look for some sort of counselling intervention right now.

FWIW it’ll be ok, eventually. These hormonally induced feelings/beliefs/paranoias will pass, but you need to take really good care of yourself and your mental health as long as you are being rocked by this hormonal onslaught.

Thoughts are with you and feel free to message me privately. Laughter can be a good antidote and I can share with you my own hormonally induced peculiarities which are funny (only retrospectively). ❤️

TMI, but I am in sturdy M&S period pants at the moment, and it would be a whole different kind of discomfort to a different demographic if I hang those out to dry in public.

I don’t have them on show! I hang socks and underwear on the smallest line, and then t shirts, tops, etc ok the outer lines. I have one of those washing lines you hang on the side of your house and it springs out!

You’d be surprised tbh if you check out the relationships board on here…

WTAF, do ppl not hang laundry out in the best way for it to dry?

I have a scarlet bra and a purple bra dangling on an airer by the window.

No you absolutely must not do this. It will make you look a total nutcase.

Festoon the living room with them and excite your guests?

Sunshine is really good for laundry. Antibacterial, stain lightening, disliked by clothes moths.

Try therapy

Hun, if you feel some type of negative way about seeing a woman’s underwear drying on a washing line then you’re 100% the weird one here…

how old is your baby OP?

Then we can be kind @Lookingback01 and blame your hormones for your absolute batshittery.

Good luck with your pregnancy. You’ll look back on this and laugh! (I hope!)

sorry just read you are pregnant, it sounds like your hormones are affecting you. Maybe mention this to your midwife, not underwear story but more so that you are feeling very emotional. Some people are really really affected by hormonal shifts, if you tell your midwife they can look out for Post Partum depression and so on, as it can even start before baby is born

I thought you were going to say they were massive old style bloomers and keeping the sun off your veg patch.

I understand this has pushed your buttons OP. You’re feeling insecure and sensitive, but you know you shouldn’t say it write anything to your neighbour. It won’t have occurred to her that it will be an issue. 💐

@Lookingback01 You likely complain about men trying to control women, yet, you are seriously considering telling a female neighbour to put her underwear away because she is too sexy.