to ask my neighbour to bring her laundry in?

[Lookingback01]

I've name changed for this because I feel a bit silly to be posting, but it's driving me crazy so I need some advice.

We live in a new build next door to another couple who recently moved in. Our gardens are pretty close together and only really separated by a small fence that we can easily see over when standing.

We're all mid-thirties and they're a nice enough couple, are polite and friendly, keep themselves to themselves and are pretty quiet, so no problems there.

The issue I'm having is that the woman is objectively beautiful, very toned, slim, etc. Today she's obviously taking full advantage of the lovely weather we're having here and has decided to hang her underwear out on the line to dry. When I say underwear, I'm not talking about the simple black briefs and maternity bras that I'm currently wearing, but beautiful skimpy Victoria's Secret type stuff.

I don't know if it's my hormones or what the issue is, but this is making me feel so jealous because I keep thinking that my DH is looking at her underwear and will start to fancy her, if he doesn't already.

I was thinking that I could write her a small, friendly note just asking if she would mind bringing them inside. I mean, they're so skimpy that they'll probably be dry by now, anyway. I don't have the nerve to ask her face to face because part of me knows I'm being ridiculous, but I can't help how I feel and have been sitting here crying all afternoon imagining her and my DH together.

He thinks I'm acting crazy and said that if I send her a note, he will go to his mum's for the night because it would be absolutely mortifying.

AIBU?

She’s an adult wearing thongs so she’s probably too old for them. 🫢

WTF is the matter with you? I have never looked at a neighbour's laundry in my entire life and I'm 100% sure my husband hasn't either! That you've been crying imagining her and your husband together means you need psychological treatment sooner rather than later. This is not normal or healthy. Please get help.

She says he hasn't so it's an OP problem.

I have been on this site for about 16 years and I don't think I've ever written a harsh post before. But there's always a first time!

Either get a new husband whom you can trust, or get a life where you don't need to worry about such nonsense.

In a kindly way, this is a you problem. Unless your DH has given any indication he is thinking about straying, you are being entirely unreasonable to them both. Embrace being pregnant - your usual body size will be back after baby is born. Pregnancy is a wild ride hormonal wise. Do not understand any circumstances go to the neighbour about her washing - you will look unhinged and make her uncomfortable about something you have dreamt up that is not reality. Congratulations on impending bubba

Avert your eyes, dear.

Ahh but this woman is clearly a temptress, the church needs to know!

It sounds like the OP needs to purchase a decent set of underwear.

I would kindly tell you where to go if she approached me with this nonsense.

Pregnancy hormones are rough. Wishing you the best op.

Your thread suddenly makes sense now. Have you ever heard that pregnant women are totally hormonal and the slightest thing can set them off? That’s what’s happening here. Try not to worry!

It’s good you told your DH and his response is very reassuring and normal too.

Most of us have been there when pregnant (especially if this is a first time pregnancy?) where you suddenly face feelings of insecurity that you might never have experienced before.

Down the line, you’ll look back and laugh.

What?!

Wobble head under a cold shower.

Gently, I think you need to ask yourself why you're feeling so insecure right now? Have there been any hiccups in your relationship? Do you suffer from low self esteem? Has your body shape changed recently, or have there been unkind remarks made? You know, realistically, your partner is not going to suddenly jump the fence and suggest a shaggy. Sit for a moment and list all the reasons why you're just bloody great!!!

YABU - I would laugh in your face if you were my neighbour

Hormones can make you feel crazy things. I bet you’ll feel better in the morning and will be grateful you didn’t talk to her about it.

It’s normal to be frumpy during pregnancy and after. Her knickers are making you feel bad because you’re feeling unattractive - very normal during pregnancy. You’ll feel much more yourself soon enough. Hang in there!

Line dried washing is one of life's simple pleasures for me.
Your neighbour actually sounds pretty awful (unless your washing line is full of Ann Summers specials enticing helpless husbands away from their loving families like the pied piper of kinky laundry of course!)

Up your game. I wore VS when breastfeeding. Not in the early days, but later on when ds was a few months.

You should look up Hotmilk nursing bras. They are made for maternity, breastfeeding and then after weaning and they are actually pretty. The flawless one is very sexy and also incredibly comfortable to wear. Wish I had discovered them with my eldest!

This is an atrocious idea.

Why do you think it’s acceptable for an old man to potentially go and try make a younger woman feel uncomfortable and ashamed in her own home?

And even if an old man did make a comment about the OP’s neighbour washing line, it will be his pathetic issue to get over, not the neighbours.

Are you serious!?

You’re more batshit than op.
Myob is my advice.

My dm always comments on my knickers and how they can’t be covering much, It’s so annoying.

Do you mean to tell her you're afraid her undies will cause Dh to fancy her? Please don't do this, you will embarass everybody concerned and risk causing a fall out with your neighbours. Do you think you might have pnd and anxiety, I'm suggesting this kindly because it can cause your thoughts to spiral.

Seriously, schoolkids are not on Mumsnet! This tedious 'have the schools broken up yet' line is just so tired and boring and was never funny.

I would personally just put up 6ft fences and just mention it in passing, that your looking at putting climbing plants up which will need bigger fences. Mine was a new build with middle height fences, got 6 footers now. Mine is are actually now covered in climbers 😊 and looks beautiful x

Is everybody missing the bit where Op is wearing maternity bras? It's very possible she's pregnant or just had a baby and is feeling very vulnerable.please be kind

How would you feel if she wrote you a note saying “ don’t hang up baby clothes on the line as my husband might leave me for someone who can give him a baby.”?????

perhaps never writing notes to a neighbour would be a good start