Any similar child please

[BeWarmLilacBiscuit]

My 3.5 year old girl is confident in language skills , intelligent, polite, has an excellent vocabulary. I'm worried that she doesn't play on her own at home for long and a is a big big talker She follows 3 step instructions, never has meltdowns and tantrums are once a month and over in 3 minutes , very organised and excellent working memory and also extremely cautious about new environment, not a fan of excessive noisy places ( so am I )
No issues with changes of routine , very eager to help all the time .. waits in her bed to be picked up for 1 hour playing with teddies or talking to herlself . No impulsivity and always hold hand in public but also very anxious and scared …we took her at a restaurant and she was terrible , food was too cold or too hot , didn’t want to sit . ( that was our second time the first time she sat for an hour playing with me )
she loves other kids and is eager to play with them at the beach or toddler classes ( she plays independently there ) she loves adults as well and her excitement is great when new people come over and she shows them all her toys etc ... she is not keen on rough and tumble and always waits her turn at the playground but gets frustrated because the other kids are faster than her and don’t respect the rule of turn waiting lol but we taught her that’s the right way to do it ( have we gone too far ? ) . She loves 1/1 play with her peers and tends to follow the other child’s lead and very happily go with the flow .
she is totally trained for wees but poos are very difficult to handle at the moment .
she doesn’t go to pre K yet and i am starting to wonder that she is not stimulated enough . we don’t do classes or go out much ( just the playground and supermarket ) could that be a factor that she is bored with the house and her toys ? if we play with her she can easily do it for an hour . am I wrong in keeping her at home nearly all week apart from the beach , playgroups and playgrounds?
I know all of these might point to adhd but is it possible it is just personality or preference for social interaction rather than a disorder

Oh and the restaurant thing - haven’t you seen the memes of parents trying to eat and a kids legs sticking up in the air?

That was my eldest son. Bloody nightmare in restaurants. Had to take a bag full of toys and fiddle things and make aeroplanes and draw for him. Cars he could drive under the table.

Now he orders adult meals, especially fish and chips, and lies prone groaning as he’s eaten too much.

She is not struggling, she doesn't have a problem, she's 3. STOP expecting her to behave like a much older child.

It's been pointed out to you on other threads that very often, kids her age don't want to spend large amounts of time on their own. She doesn't have siblings and she doesn't attend nursery, so she'll want to spend time with the adults around her, since she seems like a sociable kid. Why won't you take any of this in? The fact you keep talking about the same non-issues over and over and over is just further proof that you need to speak to a professional - for yourself.

Your 3 year old is just behaving like other 3 year olds. You refuse to recognise that her behaviour is nothing out of the ordinary and nothing to be concerned about. Your expectations of her are so unreasonable.

Poor girl, your post is reading Munchausens.

Sounds like there's nothing wrong with the child but that there's something wrong with the mum...

Your daughter sounds like a bright and healthy 3 year old.

Eating out with a preschooler is always a nightmare. I had a bag with busy books, toy cars, colouring stuff, fidget toys, board books, little toys... And I would swap them around every couple of weeks because novelty helped. We played I spy, counting games, tic tac toe etc.

You just have to keep children that age busy.

I did some research on lack of independent playing and it could be an indicator of inability to self entertain and regulate attention

Maybe do some research on 3 yos. Like meeting any 3 yo, that would be a start. Do you not have Mum friends with same age kids? If a 10 yo cannot entertain themselves for 15 minutes, that's an indicator. If a 7 yo follows you around the house whining for attention all day long, that's an indicator. If you have a 3 yo who sometimes plays for an HOUR by themselves but needs attention during the day then what you have is ridiculously good luck.

Back away from Dr Google. Your daughter is fine.

You, on the other hand, sound like you would benefit from counselling.

whatever your reading and fixating on just stop and enjoy your child! I feel worried for her this is so beyond strange your hell bent on her having a disability

Mine didn’t play solo, ever.

"I know all of these might point to adhd"
What???
Sounds like a completely normal 3 year old. Where did you get the idea that it's ADHD?

I think you need to get a job or hobby and stop obsessing about your perfectly normal child.

This OP has been posting about her daughter since she was 9 months old, listing all sorts of normal behavior but fixating on a diagnoses of ADHD and/or Autism. She ignores the 99% of responses that say it's perfectly normal.

Different medical articles found on the internet about adhd and the inability to play independently in toddlers as an early sign that can be easily missed

My nearly 10 year old still prefers to follow me pottering around whittering away, even if he's on his tablet he just likes to be close by. He's not neurodiverse,just likes to be with me.

My 14 yr old is actually ND,and he is just the same.

I take it as a compliment tbh,even tho draining at times

Neither sat still beautifully at 3.5 :/

As this is clearly the same frequent flyer, Ive reported the OP to mumsnet in the hope they can reach out with some support.

First off stop reading articles on the Internet. They are written to generate ad revenue. Not to inform. They are not written by professionals who actually know things based on evidence. Professionals write papers that get peer reviewed and published in journals.

Second, your child can play independently, you said so yourself. For an hour with her teddies. That is independent play. It counts.

Third, your kid is normal. Typical. Standard. Usual. Average. Run of the mill. Nothing to write home about.

Forth, get yourself some mental health support before you actually harm your child's development.

You know that your anxiety is the biggest threat to your daughter's wellbeing? Seek help now!

Was it the same OP who was convinced her child was autistic a while ago? She def needs help- professionnal- not anything MN can provide.

Yes and countless other times. I'd have too far to scroll back to find the first one I commented on but I'm sure the daughter was only about 9 months old at the time

Poor little girl, I feel so sorry for her.

So do I.

FFS why do you want your child to be ND, is it some sort of "badge of honour" in your circles....a bit like how some people view having a trans kid. Let your child grow and develop in her own way and stop looking for problems that aren't there in order to satisfy some warped fantasy of yours.

Because she is THREE YEARS OLD

@BeWarmLilacBiscuit Drs will not diagnose ADHD until at least 6 years old and a massive reason for this is that many of the indicators are identical to standard toddler behaviour.

I'm going to say this again, as the parent of a child who is diagnosed as autistic and may have ADHD but it's too early to tell for sure (he's 6 btw) ... Your child sounds as if she is doing just fine.

Please please step away from the internet, enjoy your child and seek professional help for YOUR anxiety.

There would be many other indicators.

And adhd is very variable. It’s also based on observations at school because many of the indicators are also completely normal. And a diagnosis isn’t always needed. There’s actually a renowned psychologist who doesn’t believe it exists at all, Sami Timimi.

He says: “Young people are being medicalised for behaviours that might be explained as entirely normal in other parts of the world.”

my 21 yr old device was diagnosed with adhd while doing alevels. She can’t focus on anything unless on meds. But she could always play by herself.

She sat and played by herself for hours as a toddler.

I’ve taught send children who have adhd for 20 years.