Any similar child please

[BeWarmLilacBiscuit]

My 3.5 year old girl is confident in language skills , intelligent, polite, has an excellent vocabulary. I'm worried that she doesn't play on her own at home for long and a is a big big talker She follows 3 step instructions, never has meltdowns and tantrums are once a month and over in 3 minutes , very organised and excellent working memory and also extremely cautious about new environment, not a fan of excessive noisy places ( so am I )
No issues with changes of routine , very eager to help all the time .. waits in her bed to be picked up for 1 hour playing with teddies or talking to herlself . No impulsivity and always hold hand in public but also very anxious and scared …we took her at a restaurant and she was terrible , food was too cold or too hot , didn’t want to sit . ( that was our second time the first time she sat for an hour playing with me )
she loves other kids and is eager to play with them at the beach or toddler classes ( she plays independently there ) she loves adults as well and her excitement is great when new people come over and she shows them all her toys etc ... she is not keen on rough and tumble and always waits her turn at the playground but gets frustrated because the other kids are faster than her and don’t respect the rule of turn waiting lol but we taught her that’s the right way to do it ( have we gone too far ? ) . She loves 1/1 play with her peers and tends to follow the other child’s lead and very happily go with the flow .
she is totally trained for wees but poos are very difficult to handle at the moment .
she doesn’t go to pre K yet and i am starting to wonder that she is not stimulated enough . we don’t do classes or go out much ( just the playground and supermarket ) could that be a factor that she is bored with the house and her toys ? if we play with her she can easily do it for an hour . am I wrong in keeping her at home nearly all week apart from the beach , playgroups and playgrounds?
I know all of these might point to adhd but is it possible it is just personality or preference for social interaction rather than a disorder

Btw, it's ok to tell her to be quiet sometimes. "Mummy needs quiet NOW!!"

Kids need training for being quiet, staying still, being bored. Not just things like getting dressed etc.

She is mostly well behaved but it is the constant or what feels like constant talking and the fact that she doesn’t play alone much in the house

Go to any stay and play group - talk to some other mums and dads.

guarantee you that most who have kids of age 3-4 will complain about the relentless chatter

it is what kids are programmed to do - endless questions / endless ‘why’ , constantly interrupting you to tell you their thoughts on everything and generally talking absolute bollocks about things they’ve seen on tv or seen in real life…

ThiS IS KiDS for you.

toddlers once they get going with chatter just love to do it constantly.

there is nothing wrong with your child.

seen your posts before. You’ve had assessments - everyone thinks there is nothing wrong with your girl.

go and get some help for the obvious issue that is here - you clearly have a major anxiety disorder and that can be helped. See the dr.

Get her into pre-k, wait to see if the teacher notices anything. If the teacher doesn’t notice anything, believe her and let this go.

personally I don’t care if she is ND or not but it definitely worries me beyond belief that she might struggle in school and that the school is going to push for homeschooling because they don’t have any staff or resources especially if my child is very low support need and I cannot homeschool for obvious reasons etc …

Seriously, I think you are worrying for worrying's sake. A school won't suggest homeschooling, and in a room with her peers your daughter will fit right in. Enjoy her younger years, they go way too quickly, and it's a long wait for grandchildren!

Do you catastrophise about other things too?

You have a perfectly ordinary child
She will go to school
There's no indication from anything you've written to suggest she will struggle in school
If, however, she does need any additional support, school will tell you and normal processes will be followed
No one is going to push for you to homeschool her

She sounds like a very normal three-year-old. They won’t even look at diagnosis of ADHD until a child is at least 6 because being talkative and energetic is very normal for that age - as is being quiet and shy, not energetic, and a myriad of things in between. Just relax, accept her for who she is, and stop trying to compare her to what is ‘normal’, because there’s not really any such thing.

Nothing wrong with your child, but I agree you are the sane poster who returns constantly attempting to get everyone to say they have neuro-developmental differences. Get help for yourself.

You need help for your anxiety, as a pp said you're just finding things to worry yourself about. Time and time again, posters have told you that your child is developing in a way that's typical for her age. Stop trying to find problems that aren't there.

By the way...my Nd niece attended a small, rural primary, there was never any suggestion of her being homeschooled, despite the school not having extra resources or staff. I'm not sure where you got the idea from that nd children are pushed into being homeschooled 🤷‍♀️

All of what might point to ADHD?

Maybe this poster is a bot as I see no reason for going round and round the same topic over and over again.

Why do you think she will struggle in school?

This is the weirdest thread I've ever read. There is nothing that points to neurodiversity or that she will have support needs.

I was pushed in to home educating my youngest by her school, I certainly never wanted to or planned to.

However nothing in the op suggests her daughter is neurodiverse and if she is worrying about it so much she needs to keep seeking reassurance on mumsnet it is possible she has OCD.

My 5yo doesn’t particularly like to play on his own. He prefers company 🤷‍♀️

Your child sounds absolutely fine, I have a daughter the same age with similar traits and i’m not remotely concerned about being forced to home school
it might be worth looking for some help for yourself and managing these thoughts rather than worrying about what sounds like a lovely 3 year old girl finding her feet in life

You should go to the GP. You are catastrophizing and it’s not normal.

Everyone seems to be missing the key thing which is yes, she’s probably bored witless at home with mum all week. At 3.5 she needs mates and stimulation - home with mum all the time other than park and shops is fine for <1 year old after that they need more. At that age my kids were out every day. Park, museums, galleries, playdates.

Stop trying to diagnose your daughter. She sounds lovely. The best thing you could do for her is get her in to some groups or clubs.

My daughter did her first ever smile at the age of 3.5 years, she was born with such profound brain injury that she wasn't expected to survive. 30 years on, she's here and if she could do even one of those things on your list I'd be announcing it to the world. Please, for your own sake and your child's, relax and enjoy motherhood, it's not easy, but the years fly by and you'll look back with sadness if you keep up this constant looking for problems, when the likelihood is, none exist, I recognise you from previous posts too. Be kind to yourself x

I think this is a bot, theres a post the exact same word for word from last week from the same OP

So you have a well-behaved, moderately advanced 3 yo, who shows no signs of any neurodiversity except that she talks a lot and does not play alone, except for in 1 hour stretches every morning.

If you're just here to brag then stop it, it's not going to do her any favours.

If you're genuinely anxious, get some help.

Having quiet gentle girls is the easiest life - enjoy this serenity until you can , lady

You have described a perfectly normal 3.5 year old with a bit of anxiety.

And here we have a parent who is WORRIED about a child despite everything being normal.

So perhaps what is coming across is that you are passing your anxiety onto your child?? Are you a worrier?

But it's normal for kids to be anxious. They're learning.

OP you will never be happy until you force some sort of diagnosis on this poor kid. Focus on getting one for yourself instead.