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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DH being an ungrateful **** or is it me?

269 replies

Fathersdaycry · 21/06/2026 22:08

DH moaned he didn’t get a breakfast in bed today. Fair enough I could have thought of that but it’s been a stressful few days for other reasons. This seemed to set the tone for the day. He moaned the table at the pub we booked was outside and too hot. DS shouldn’t have got him a big bar of chocolate as it will just melt this week and he doesn’t want to eat it in one go today (he doesn’t keep chocolate in the fridge).

He has had a couple of drinks tonight which he doesn’t usually do on a Sunday night and I’ve come upstairs after he’s insinuated he ‘deserves’ a particular sex act to salvage the day (something I am not against doing but only with some notice for his birthday etc).

I feel like he has been totally ungrateful - nice cards, chocolates, a meal out, dinner cooked at home etc.

OP posts:
JumpingRabbit · 21/06/2026 22:10

I’m most intrigued by what sex act he only gets on his birthday with notice?

HortiGal · 21/06/2026 22:10

A sex act you need notice for? that’s rather transactional. Although he does sound a moaner.

Ibi · 21/06/2026 22:10

I’m intrigued now about the act! What sort of preparations do you need to do that requires advanced warning and is an annual event?! I’m expecting literal fireworks, possibly perfectly timed to a soundtrack.

Reportingfromwherever · 21/06/2026 22:12

I’m also curious about a sex act that needs preparation for……

Strawberriesandcaviar · 21/06/2026 22:12

What a cunt

DurinsBane · 21/06/2026 22:13

Reportingfromwherever · 21/06/2026 22:12

I’m also curious about a sex act that needs preparation for……

I would assume anal….

TheTealHiker · 21/06/2026 22:13

Reportingfromwherever · 21/06/2026 22:12

I’m also curious about a sex act that needs preparation for……

Me too.

Does it involve ordering in special "equipment" ? 😳

Fathersdaycry · 21/06/2026 22:13

JumpingRabbit · 21/06/2026 22:10

I’m most intrigued by what sex act he only gets on his birthday with notice?

Sorry, but that’s not the point of the post. It doesn’t really matter. It’s context to his overall behaviour today.

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 21/06/2026 22:14

FFS it’s probably anal. It’s always anal.

And he’s being an arsehole so no, I wouldn’t feel very sexy.

Esmeraldathe3rd · 21/06/2026 22:14

Highly likely to be a blow job. Not everyone likes doing it and need to get tin the mindset. Or anal, lots of people like to prep by eating light, taking immodium or douching. Not surprising not every considers all parts of sex to be daily sex or that people like to prepare themselves for things.

Anyway. Ain't no one ever entitled to any sex act, ever. And sex isn't transactional. You're not a prostitute I assume.

What did he do for mothers day? If the bar is so high.

rainraining · 21/06/2026 22:15

Fathersdaycry · 21/06/2026 22:13

Sorry, but that’s not the point of the post. It doesn’t really matter. It’s context to his overall behaviour today.

Why does he need to give notice?

Pippa12 · 21/06/2026 22:17

A sex act that needs notice… bloody hell, talk about derailing a thread!

He sounds like a knob, I think his behaviour would cause my fanny to turn into stone and drop off. So yeah, I’d need a good weeks notice to cement it back on.

Laiste · 21/06/2026 22:19

A sex act to salvage Father's Day?
🧐

He sounds like a miserable cunt who doesn't deserve anything let alone sex acts. On - i'll say it again cos i still don't get what it's got to do with sex acts - Fathers Day.

PurpleLovecats · 21/06/2026 22:19

I think he’s being really unreasonable and to moan and then suggest a sex act will salvage the day is disgusting. Sex is mutual and should not be expected.

Gardenisablooming · 21/06/2026 22:20

If it's anal. Agree. Shout SURPRISE and pull out a huge strap on...

MrsTerryPratchett · 21/06/2026 22:20

Laiste · 21/06/2026 22:19

A sex act to salvage Father's Day?
🧐

He sounds like a miserable cunt who doesn't deserve anything let alone sex acts. On - i'll say it again cos i still don't get what it's got to do with sex acts - Fathers Day.

Edited

It’s pretty Envy isn’t it?

DollopOfFun · 21/06/2026 22:21

Or anal, lots of people like to prep by eating light, taking immodium or douching

And they say romance is dead.

DustOffAndMoveOn · 21/06/2026 22:21

Wow! After everything you did you, you still need to ‘salvage’ the day!

Say no, and give him something to actually moan about the ungrateful pig!

Flamingojune · 21/06/2026 22:21

Esmeraldathe3rd · 21/06/2026 22:14

Highly likely to be a blow job. Not everyone likes doing it and need to get tin the mindset. Or anal, lots of people like to prep by eating light, taking immodium or douching. Not surprising not every considers all parts of sex to be daily sex or that people like to prepare themselves for things.

Anyway. Ain't no one ever entitled to any sex act, ever. And sex isn't transactional. You're not a prostitute I assume.

What did he do for mothers day? If the bar is so high.

Do you know/talk to lots of people who do this?

Laiste · 21/06/2026 22:21

Is anyone else's phone a bloody prude?!

I just had to go back 3 times to edit my post because my phone kept changing cunt and sex to random words !!!!

FiveStarMadness · 21/06/2026 22:23

Gardenisablooming · 21/06/2026 22:20

If it's anal. Agree. Shout SURPRISE and pull out a huge strap on...

Literally funniest thing I've read today!

ETA: Sorry OP your H is a dick.

DreamyScroller · 21/06/2026 22:24

Who are these supposedly grown men complaining about not getting breakfast in bed or a bigger bar of chocolate?? Why is this a thing now? So called 'men' throwing tantrums like a spoiled teenage girl. Smh.

DustOffAndMoveOn · 21/06/2026 22:27

Gardenisablooming · 21/06/2026 22:20

If it's anal. Agree. Shout SURPRISE and pull out a huge strap on...

Hilarious!

Why do they happily give it but won’t take it though? I’d love for my DH to experience why I don’t like it and never will.

GOATYOAT · 21/06/2026 22:28

There would absolutely be no sex act. I hope his son doesn’t know what a dick his dad has been.

kidsbeingloudagain · 21/06/2026 22:29

What did he do for Mother’s Day?