Childbirth: "a disgusting moment"

[bojo7]

Cannot see this anywhere else.

Footballer Jeremy Doku plans to leave his Belgium team mates to be at the birth of his first child.

From BBC website:
However, Doku's plan to leave the USA and return home has brought fierce criticism from L'Equipe channel presenter France Pierron, who labelled a father "completely useless" at the time of their child's birth.
"The World Cup is an incredible joy," she said in a message posted to the Facebook page of French sports publication L'Equipe.
"There are hundreds of footballers who would kill to be in your shoes. It might never happen again in your life.
"You're living out a childhood dream, yet you're going to walk away from it all to attend the birth of your child - a disgusting moment, if you'll pardon the expression, where the dad is completely useless."

DH wasn't great with first birth - second he was downstairs MW up with me - third he was only other person there - as MW were being very slow.

I did want him in first half labour to help me get to MW support - he was calm and helpful and wanted him directly after birth. The actual birth bit not so sure we were bothered - but I wouldn't have been keen for him to be in another country if there was a choice and he wouldn't have wanted that either.

It's a view - not sure how influenced it is by Belgium culture and how much it's rage bait.

(corrected country)

2 things:
1 - it's a Belgium team
2 - where is your evidence that this is a stereotypically French opinion?

My partner actually delivered our second because it was a home birth and the midwife didn’t arrive in time so the opposite of useless in that scenario. First delivery in the hospital, I would’ve hated being there without him. He kept me sane, brought me snacks, held my hand, communicated to the midwives for me because the contractions were so bad at one point that I couldn’t speak. Sorry to everyone whose partners have been shit at the birth of their child/ren but this was definitely not my experience

I hate it when people apologise to be honest

I dont mind if they've said something unintentionally personally abusive to someone and apologise because it was unintentional and it hurt the person, thats appropriate.

But this comment was a general off the cuff remark about men in general, nothing personal to anyone. Own it. Say, yes I can see not everyone agrees with me. It is what it is.

She thinks men are useless at the birth, her view is not one I agree with but its not an usunal view

She thinks childbirth is disgusting, not a view I agree with but some people also do agree with her

She has the right to her views. People can disagree with them, doesnt mean she should apologise.

I'm in two minds here. My Ex-husband was at the births of all three of our children, and he was very happy to be part of them. However if he'd been selected to play for his country at the WC, I'd have excused him TBH.

We don't have to suffer that burden in most of the world these days. Stop martyring yourselves when it's a choice. If the human race dies out so be it, most of us wouldn't care. Meanwhile there are plenty of children in need of adopting so you can opt out of terrible childbirth.

A father who is there for their child and is present throughout its life is far more important than being at the birth. Obviously, most men are at the birth, but I don’t think men who are not are automatically going to make bad fathers.

Totally agree!!! Humans are a plague on the earth and cause nearly all the damage!!!

Regarding the “he’s only 24 and got plenty more opportunities to play in future world cups”, well not necessarily. A lot can change in 4 years. There are thousands of players who only played in a single tournament. Belgium is not exactly a footballing powerhouse and there is no guarantee they’ll qualify for the next WC or that he’ll be good enough to be selected in 2030.

I’m biased because I love football but in this specific case I personally wouldn’t want my DH to fly all the way back from the USA for the birth. If Belgium progress to the next round I’d be gutted for him if he missed out. The baby won’t know either way and if they go on to have more he can be present at future births.

And I wouldn’t call it ‘disgusting’ but childbirth is grim.

The player plays for Belgium, but the journalist who made the comments is French, I think, hence posters have commented on French culture/opinions.

Also, sorry to be a twat but people/language/culture from Belgium are Belgian. It’s a common error, in part because so many shops label their pastry products ‘Belgium buns’ 😩

Hmmm my husband was exactly the opposite from totally useless at the birth of my children especially my second where he caught him in his sack as he shot out of me whilst trying to climb into a birthing pool then literally catching me when I passed out in shock after nearly landing on the baby and my husband 😆😆 so yeah totally unreasonable to
think he shouldn’t be there

Sorry - I'm dyslexic (have posted about previously) and clearly not paying enough attention to spelling as doing something else at same time.

So was my ex- in fact he was abusive especially the second time round. My current husband was wonderful though and while I could have and would have managed fine without him giving birth I’m so happy he got to see our daughter’s birth and I was grateful to have him supporting me.

This is a completely personal decision to this man and his partner. I’m sure participating in the World Cup must have been a life long dream for him so the fact he’s apparently chosen being there for the birth of his child shows how important it is to him.

It's not a sport or hobby. It is his living. It is also a great honour to represent your country.
He should have turned down his place on the team if his family was more important. Lots of footballers would love the place

I agree with her. Luckily, my DH wasn’t interested in being at the hospital when I had any of my 3, because I didn’t want anyone there unless they were medically necessary. A husband would just have been in the way..about as much use as a chocolate fire guard /teapot . He’d pulled enough lambs and calves into the world to want to see any birth he didn’t need to. 🤣🤣🤣

Exactly, it’s his career and his wife knew this when she married him.

My dh is a dick at times but omg he was amazing during childbirth, absolute rock. Stayed calm, held me, was utterly encouraging. He says nothing more amazing than being handed tiny newborn. He held dc first as I want very well.
If this footballers wife died during childbirth (yes it does happen) he would never forgive himself

Sorry to hear you had a horrible experience. Not all woman do. We should work towards making birthing experience good for all women and children. We need a lot of understanding for pregnant women and the whole birth and postpartum process.

My apologies @AprilMizzel 💐

Women tended to have quicker and easier births in the days when they were on all fours scrubbing floors!! The muscles used to squat are the same that women use in labour.

My DH was wonderful - couldn’t fault or replace him. But….i might make an exception to someone playing in the World Cup. Think I would have tried to be stationed where they were playing.

Isn’t it their career, rather than a ‘hobby’? So it’s working in a different country rather than foregoing your local Sunday league football match? I think it’s only fair to compare like with like, whichever side of the debate you are on.

You should? I had absolutely horrendous childbirths.. twice. I rate childbirth zero stars. Do not recommend. Definitely the absolute worst experience of my life.. twice. Rated number 1 and 2 on the most horrific things I have experienced.

My husband was useless and so was I.

Precipitate labour meant I had zero control over my movements etc. It all happened so quickly.

The only thing I recall from my 90m start to finish labour was my husband saying, "go go go go go" and my pulling the gas out of my mouth long enough to tell him to shut up. The issue was not the lack of go go go!