Childbirth: "a disgusting moment"

[bojo7]

Cannot see this anywhere else.

Footballer Jeremy Doku plans to leave his Belgium team mates to be at the birth of his first child.

From BBC website:
However, Doku's plan to leave the USA and return home has brought fierce criticism from L'Equipe channel presenter France Pierron, who labelled a father "completely useless" at the time of their child's birth.
"The World Cup is an incredible joy," she said in a message posted to the Facebook page of French sports publication L'Equipe.
"There are hundreds of footballers who would kill to be in your shoes. It might never happen again in your life.
"You're living out a childhood dream, yet you're going to walk away from it all to attend the birth of your child - a disgusting moment, if you'll pardon the expression, where the dad is completely useless."

My DH nearly fainted both times. It was a tad annoying. He couldn't help it though.

Yes. Which is why the children whose dads were there, have a stronger bond with their fathers than the poor souls in the past who didn't give a flying one.

What's the AIBU here?

I feel so sorry for you x

"A tad" 😂Thank you. That's light relief on this thread.x

I'm glad my dh was there for all my births. I felt really guilty with dc5 though. He had gone to drop dc3 and dc4 off and the midwives turned up on the antenatal ward, put a cannula in my arm and said it's time to go to labour ward to be induced. I panicked, phoned dh from the labour ward and told him to come right now, and no he couldn't have his dinner first. He rushed over and they didn't actually start the induction until over 3 hours later.

I am assuming my support network is with me.

Nobody in my family has had a birth like that, which is genetically and socially lucky.

Yes, I would feel he was excelling in one way and I was excelling in another.

Mine too. His presence was pointless.

Sorry I was being dumb and misread it, I thought it was a male journalist who said it. I can’t even comprehend a woman saying something like that.

People on deathbed tend to say that they wish they had spent more time with their families and worked less to be there when their children were little. Career and achievements seem more important when you’re young, but once you’re older you realise life is about spending time with the people you love

Why is it okay for some women to just assume their partners will be at the birth? Some men don’t want to be at the birth. It doesn’t mean they won’t be a good father. Some women prefer to be supported by other women. There is no right or wrong!!!

But everyone is different and it was his choice so for him birth of his child was more important than playing in world cup

The father of your child should be your support network.

What century are you from?

A decision for the two of them. As regards the football fine im sure he discussed that this is what he would do with the manager. There is a lot of talent from that country and limited squad places so manager has decided his talent warrants taking a place though he will miss the semi finals onwards. I would be very angry as the manager if it was not clear.

She has apologised now, but it says Doku isn’t playing due to illness anyway.

Globally women giving birth are attended by other women.

I’ve just read that the Équipe journalist has apologised. So she should. Apparently she was critical of athletes who wanted their young children to accompany them to the Olympics in 2024. Her views aren’t typically French. Lots of people disgusted over here.

Think it is mainly partners and husband's in the UK.

Mine was great. With our first, he was the first to hold him because I was delivering the placenta. His face when he was looking at him was just sheer happiness.

Same with the second. We had a dodgy moment with him as the cord was round his neck and he was going blue.

There was not another person on the planet I wanted to be there more than my son's dad.

Oh yes, worse than useless tbh.

Well we are hoping for number three so he better stay upright if it happens lol.

In the UK yes, since the 1960s.

Gosh my husband got me through the birth of our children. He was there to support me however he could. And when our second ended up in NICU for three days we needed each other.

DH was an amazing birthing partner, wouldn’t have wanted anyone else. Also I had an unexpected complication after giving birth which could have been dangerous for me, unless sorted quickly which it was. Needed DH’s support through that, whilst also looking after DS. He would not have wanted to miss any of that or not be there to support me.

Just when you think you’ve heard it all…

Childbirth is an amazing moment, for all the pain and mess and sometimes trauma. An entire, brand new person comes out of your body! That still boggles my mind, decades later.

I have two DC, two different fathers. They weren't objectively useless and they were both very keen on being there, but I just found their presence a bit annoying through no fault of theirs. If I had another (I won't, I'm old) I think I'd prefer another mother as a birthing partner - someone who properly understood what I was going through.

I know it's important to a lot of women to have the father there for the birth but I don't like the automatic assumption that he must be there. A lot of people seem to think he has a right to be there which is totally wrong. Also, for second and subsequent children, he can often be of most use looking after the older ones and he shouldn't be made to feel bad about that.