AIBU to struggle with neighbours' children screaming while working from home?

[fld]

One of the few things I am not looking forward to the next few days are screaming kids.

Two families that moved late last year and earlier this year have 5-6 kids between them and all they do is scream! They run outside and scream. As the properties are in an odd shaped quadrangle, their screams bounce off the walls. Making the screaming even more intense. The kids’ ages, c3-9 years old.

My job is hybrid, so didn’t get this issue last summer as properties the kids live in - one didn’t have kids and the other had kids and behaved.

I had to close a window to keep the screaming down. There is no way I would close a window when it’s 31c.

I do wish parents would tell their kids that screaming is not acceptable. My work is two thirds on calls ti various customers, other staff in other departments and my team’s colleagues. I can hear the screaming from wearing the call headset.

Any tips will be appreciated

I don't need to do anything.

I have ears and hear children screaming unnecessarily. Just because you don't hear it doesn't mean it doesn't happen.

It's fairly simple to explain - don't scream unless you are being murdered.

Anyway, no need to reply because you are now just attention seeking.

Same I’m 45 and they are a killer. Should be banned.

You think people who work from home are actually watching Netflix?? 😂😂😂

How the fuck do you think they'd hold on to their jobs if they weren't actually working? In the vast majority of jobs any drop in output would be noticed and questioned. But no, you didn't bother to think that through, did you, in your hurry to spit bile at WFHers.

As for lazy and slovenly, a lot of us are actually able to fit in a longer workday because we don't have to commute. And what about self-employed people like me, are we lazy and slovenly too simply because we don't go to an office to do our work?

Honestly so sick of the hate for WFHers from some MNers. And I can't help wondering if you are either jealous of people who can wfh, or someone who's too 'lazy and slovenly' to discipline their children. Or possibly both.

“Don’t scream unless you’re being murdered”

😂🤣😂.

And this is another thing people don't seem to want to take on board - if kids are routinely screaming while playing, it's harder to detect a scream that signals something bad is happening. I was once on the verge of calling the police out of worry for a little girl who was leaning out of an upstairs window of a house I passed, literally screaming blue murder, and not in a way that sounded or looked remotely like play. She then burst into fits of giggles and I could hear more giggles coming from inside the room - God knows what was going on but I can only surmise that the game was 'let's see who can scream the loudest and horribly while hanging halfway out of the window.' If kids think it's fine to do that, who's to tell when someone is genuinely in need of help?

@fld gently you are you going to have to suck it up. I have 2 kids 10 & 5. My 5 year old is loud! Me and my husband run our own business from home, it’s a professional business, we have to talk to clients, financial services companies and solicitors. During the school holidays my kids make noise, especially when playing out with the other kids in the street. Sometimes there’s 6-10 of them out playing talking over each other, arguing, screaming, jumping about, kicking the ball at the wall, falling over and crying. You don’t get many summers of kids being little they should be able to have fun.

Of course they should. But presumably you do realise it's possible for kids to have fun, and make some noise in the process, without protracted banshee-style screaming being in the mix?

Yes of course I do but it’s not as easy as saying tell them to stop screaming, kids scream. I’ll tell mine to stop screaming but then inevitably one of the others will scream and then it get louder. It’s not all day, it’s not everyday because they’ll be holidays and days out etc. but the OP working from home is not my problem as a parent who’s kids want to play and have fun. And I understand totally because I am on both sides. I have to deal with the kids noise while running a business but I also my kids are the ones making the noise

We spent all day in our back garden today as did our neighbours who live behind us. He’s a single dad of 4 boys who has them about 50% or the time. They have a football goal, basketball hoop and they were playing tennis. The ball came over once, DH threw it back, they apologised and said thank you. The dad told them if it came over again, no more ball games.

When it got to about 5pm they got a bit loud. They weren’t screaming, they were just playing and it wasn’t bothering us at all. The dad told them to “quieten down and have some respect for their neighbours…” IMO, and DH’s, they didn’t need telling but I can’t speak for the rest of the neighbours, but I did think what a refreshing change it was to actually hear someone parent their kids. Unfortunately he’s just sold his house and is packing up to move so I’m dreading who’s going to be moving in.

2 doors one way there are 2 kids, they play outside everyday. I can hear them, they are having a good time, it’s like background noise.
2 doors the other way were 2 other kids. Literally screamed blue murder all fucking day. Being outside was hell. Didn’t speak at all, just SCREAMED. Thankfully they’ve grown up now but being outside was so unpleasant for years. Not once were they told to ‘pipe down’ but instead the dad would join in also shouting.
Not all children playing is the same. Children being told to turn the volume down and consider others will not harm them in any bloody way. No one is saying they can’t play ouyside.

“You don’t get many summers of kids being little they should be able to have fun.”

I think part of the problem is people thinking like this, when the reality is as a neighbour you potentially get an endless supply of such summers as new families move in and out of the neighbouring houses.

You say 'kids scream' like there's nothing you can do about it. Presumably you can get them to obey you in other matters, I'm genuinely not sure why getting them to stop screaming would be any different. 'Stop screaming or you'll have to come inside' seemed to work pretty well for my parents when I was little...

Yes I tell my kids to be quieter as do other parents but when there’s 10 excited kids playing out it’s not that easy.

also kids being loud isn’t always screaming and I would guess they aren’t just screaming they are being loud, children are aloud to exist and be loud.

as I have said, I run my own business during the summer I have to tell my kids and other people kids to be quiet I am on the phone etc so I have sympathy but they have 6 weeks off school and OP will have to either deal with the noise or find a solution that doesn’t involved making children be quiet because it’s near impossible when there’s loads of them

Maybe don’t invite loads of kids over if it creates a problem. Also aren’t you on the one hand saying you have to tell the kids to be quiet and on the other saying OP must find a solution that doesn’t involved (sic) making children be quiet.

I don’t know if it was just my mum who couldn’t stand it or she was considerate to our neighbours, but me and my sister used to get brought back in the house if we were shrieking. She basically trained us like dogs not to bark 🤣 this was the 90’s and obviously things were different.

I'd experiment with different soothing music next to your window.
Say, White Zombie or some Nine inch nails
All the way up to 11

Kids learn some new words to scream 😂

i am not inviting them over. There is roughly 30 kids living on our 75 house estate they play out.

and yes I am saying that. Kids will make noise OP needs to find a solution to work through it cos it’s not just as easy as saying parents need to keep them quiet because, mine make noise I tell them to be quiet, next doors kids will start, the kids further up the road come round on their bike. One falls off starts crying, my kids go back out and starting playing basketball with the kids from over the road it’s loud and annoying but they are just playing. It’s hot they all start having a water fight they are screaming/shouting running round. I ask them to be quiet cos I am on the phone, the kids over the road mum comes out and tells them they need to be quiet, the others start shouting. See how this goes. It’s not easy and it’s all about terrible kids or parents it’s about it being real life situations and needing to realise the kids exist

Yes it's not acceptable and I don't understand parents who don't intervene just for their own sanity. I have lived next to a school for 30 years and quite enjoy the sound of children laughing and playing games. However some years there have been screamers and actually just one is too much. They often carry on for a few years then peace again for a year or so. I'm not sure when it became acceptable to let them carry on regardless. Their behaviour can be altered and I don't think it's that difficult; it's not being liberal and child centred, they won't suffer irreversible damage. Not all children are that insightful, though most in fact are. If one kid is allowed to scream it can be infectious. It disturbs me as an adult, because my instinct is to think that something is wrong and that they are frightened or being attacked,which I think is a normal response, and of course stresses me. Actually thinking about it, a new Head started a few years' ago and I no longer hear screamers so she's probably fixed it.

If you are on conference calls, make sure you enable background noise filtering on your call software (eg teams etc) and or headphones. I work from home nearly 100% and with that setting even lawn mower outside or barking dogs or robot vac right next to me wouldn’t be audible on the call. And, don’t open the window when it’s hot out, open mornings/ evenings but close the windows to keep the heat outside during the day- my “hot tip” as an Australian!

I began reading this thread with sympathy for you but now think you need to work on yourself. Reporting people for commenting?! Those people have read your post, they have a different opinion.

It’s all very well people saying ’Go back into the office then’, but some people don’t have offices to go back to!

It’s absolutely not ridiculous.

Exactly! Along with the “‘move to a secluded area where you have no neighbours” posters 🙄

Kids shouldn't be screaming. Full stop.

There's nothing inherent in childhood that says children need to scream and telling them not to is stopping their fun.

If you wouldn't let them scream in a cinema or a restaurant then that applies to in the garden or outside.