AIBU to challenge the school’s wording about pupils rolling skirts up?

[GreenSalon]

Weekly newsletter today from DC’s secondary school contained a paragraph on uniform including the fact that there have been complaints from the public about “pupils who choose to wear skirts” rolling them up to wear them extremely short. It finishes with asking parents to speak to their children about why this is “not a good idea”.

Now, apart from the fact I assume that they must mean girls, is this not clearly implying that short skirts = making themselves vulnerable and if is, then if anything bad happens as a result it is their own fault? I thought we had moved beyond this kind of nonsense.

I only have boys at the school not girls but want to write to the head to point out how utterly sexist this is. DH agrees with me pov but thinks I shouldn’t write. AIBU?

No it just looks awful. It’s a uniform for a reason. No one wants to see any teenagers arses, male or female. Remember when boys seemed to have their arses out? Same deal.

Good point.

Also the pointing out you can’t look elsewhere if that person is stood right in front of you.

it seems to be a common issue - stand in front of people with your arse hanging out. Then tell said people who you are flashing your arse at not to look at your arse.

It’s like handing someone a black biro to sign a document and then telling theM not to sign it in black ink!

I have DDs. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with the wording. Although given the peer pressure to do this, I think schools should really change to kilts instead of skirts. I know some have.

I am old enough to have worn mini-skirts the first time around.
I don't remember seeing anyones knickers, and girls were much slimmer back then, so they did actually look classy without looking unsightly.

The difference was the girls were older, not school-age, which made it more acceptable imo.

I think theres been teachers on here who've said that you're walking up the stairs in the school or the corridor and theres no way you can avoid looking at bum cheeks.

You get the self righteous claiming any child (female child only really) who can wear what they like and show off what they like. Well no actually.

My daughter is 12 and the trend for super short skirts is definitely the thing in her school. She rolls her skirt a little to about 2 inches above knee. I’ve been clear with her that I’ve provided her a skirt that meets uniform rules, if she rolls it and breaks the rules and gets caught then she’ll get a detention and she’ll deserve it so I won’t fight it. So far that’s kept her from rolling it too high, I don’t know how long that will be the case. Girls have been rolling their skirts for decades, the school should deal with it as a breach of uniform code and stick to their policy.

Send a letter. You don't need to be a mum of girls to challenge patriarchy.

It's a ridiculous argument, and quite a dangerous one when youngsters are concerned.

Get a hobby. The school have enough to do. Ffs

It wouldn't be acceptable in most work places, so why should it be acceptable at school?

It really is beyond awful and I really think a female member of staff could be taking these girls aside and gently telling them their sanitary wear is on display.

First sensible answer on the thread!

THIS is how the school should have / could have worded their letter. I rather agree with the op - the letter is lazy - yet another example of schools expecting parents to do their job for them!

The letter should have reminded parents that school rules require a skirt to be x inches above the knee. This rule is set for XYZ reasons. And asking parents to support them by reminding children ... etc, etc

YABU but I also think uniforms are old fashioned and not fit for purpose anyway. It’s not like the typical worker wears a blazer and tie for work, especially in an office. I think more comfortable clothes that are suitable for learning and moving around would be better. A polo shirt and leggings or trousers works well. Shorts or skorts in the summer. Jumpers or cardigans in the winter. I think that would sort out a lot of issue and hopefully encourage kids to be kids and move around more. I also think kids should be able to wear trainers as this is likely better for their growing feet.

I’m a teacher and a woman. I was going up the stairs behind a girl yesterday and I saw a bum cheek as her knickers where tucked in on one side and her skirt was so short that with my eyes ahead of me, I could see more than was appropriate.

Men cannot go to work in vest tops. Women cannot wear plunging necklines with a push-up bra. Without talking about sexualisation, it it’s simply not appropriate workplace attire. Schools are a pupil’s workplace. Wear what you want at the weekend. 🤷🏽‍♀️

100% agree. Its also really unhygienic as they basically sit on the communal furniture with their bare arse! Yuk.

Our local High School has removed the problem in one swift move - every student wears trousers. Its been such a relief for those girls who lack body confidence but feel pressure to wear the skirts short to "fit in". They all look so much better. Previously skirts would literally be shorter than their blazers and you could definitely see their knickers and bum cheeks. They looked like they'd forgotten to put any clothes on their lower half.

I don't care what anyone wears, and I'm not a fan of overzealous uniform enforcement.
That said, I think these barely there skirts are ridiculous. You'd get a better idea of what others could see if you left the skirt off altogether.

.....there should be different standards of dress in education settings.

I don't want to see girls and young women's underwear and bums anywhere. And it's not different standards of dress in educational settings. They're not asking for anything most workplaces wouldn't ask for. I doubt very much whether Sainsbury's, for example, would think it acceptable if a Saturday girl turned up looking like many schoolgirls do.

Heaven forbid asking the parents to pick up on the actions of their children.

Why would kilts be any better? Just say trousers only. Solved!

Why would kilts be any better? Just say trousers only. Solved!

This is the first dress code letter I have seen that doesn’t bother me.

1. it doesn’t imply that skirts are female attire
2. it does not link how the skirts are worn to the male gaze

The vague “not a good idea” isn’t perfect, but this is tricky territory. Personally I might have chosen, “unprofessional”, but I am not sure that would be taken correctly by everyone.

Not a good idea

Is exactly the same as 'unprofessional', or 'inappropriate'

In my lifetime in public services I have seen all manner of new upwording (if that is a word, if not Ive just invented it), nothing is 'ok' or 'not ok' or just 'wrong', or 'bad', it has to be 'inappropriate' or 'uncomfortable' etc etc

Its why we have ended up with bullshit job descriptions for shop assistants or warehouse workers.

Just call something what it is

Its not a good idea.

Pushing for trousers only is a bad idea. Skirts allow girls with extremely heavy periods easier coverage of bulky pads. A pair of uniform trousers with little choice is a great way to make a teen who already feels awkward about a heavy menstrual cycle even more uncomfortable.

plus there are children with other conditions that can benefit from the more forgiving drape of a skirt.

The girls at the local high school wear skirts shorter than their blazers, its not about blaming or shaming girls its about decorum. If its too short for an office or church its too short for school.
Also some of the girls are 12 and 13 and tbh shouldn't be wearing skirts that show their knickers off.
If women want to wear short skirts out clubbing or on the beach or even about town thats up to them however they still shouldn't be showing their knickers as other people really don't want to see that.
Really its about teaching girls to have some respect for themselves

This is the right response. I think its about respect for yourself and also it just looks ridiculous. Yes we are aware that no women should cover up because of men etc but reality is that it does happen