AIBU to challenge the school’s wording about pupils rolling skirts up?

[GreenSalon]

Weekly newsletter today from DC’s secondary school contained a paragraph on uniform including the fact that there have been complaints from the public about “pupils who choose to wear skirts” rolling them up to wear them extremely short. It finishes with asking parents to speak to their children about why this is “not a good idea”.

Now, apart from the fact I assume that they must mean girls, is this not clearly implying that short skirts = making themselves vulnerable and if is, then if anything bad happens as a result it is their own fault? I thought we had moved beyond this kind of nonsense.

I only have boys at the school not girls but want to write to the head to point out how utterly sexist this is. DH agrees with me pov but thinks I shouldn’t write. AIBU?

There are probably many issues that parents would need to complain to schools about. This isn’t one of them.

Good to see a school doing something about it - it’s embarrassing seeing so much bum and leg on display!

if you’re the parent of a secondary school child, please do speak to them, and build their self confidence in any way you can. I feel sorry for so many of them as it’s a peer pressure thing too, but building self respect and confidence will help them to respect their bodies.

Because a parent can tell them to put there arse cheeks away
where a a school will have to address it with a political correct long winded explanation

more to the point why shouldn’t parents parent lets not kick every thing to the school to deal

Do these teen girls want everyone looking and staring at their underwear then?

I know people keep saying things like this have happened for years but not in my area in my school in the 90s it didn't happen in my daughters school it was the odd child my son has just finished high school he said its rife so something happened in the last thirty years to make this a thing

Ds high school has just changed the uniform to pleated skirts only the amount of parents who complained was ridiculous for once the school said tough titty thems the rules adhere to them or (fuking) leave

The school skirts are whatever length they are, it’s the uniform, wear it, as it’s intended!

And if the trouser wearers are rolling them up to be shorts, then they should also stop.

Apparently it's a thing

There is a school near me that has been trousers only for a few years.

I actually think that all school children should wear trousers, not skirts or dresses. They're far more practical. They could wear Bermuda shorts in the summer if trousers are too hot.

Could they also tell the boys to take their hands out of their pants and fiddling with their willys and pull their trousers up because I don’t need to see their underwear either

At their underwear, if you're lucky. At a great deal of arse cheek if you're not. Grim.

The school is 100% right. I am struggling to see how anyone could reasonably object.

As a grown woman who totally believes in people dressing how they like and also dressing a certain way doesn’t make you deserve to be a victim.

No - I don't think you should complain.

We do young woman no favours teaching them that wearing your arse hanging out of your skirt is ok. Pretending people won’t look panther truth. Pretending having your arse on show is acceptable.

Men and woman are sexual mammals who are designed to pro create.

anyone dressing in a way that drawls attention to themselves like that will attract attention of males. Doesn’t make it ok that male assaults them - absolutely not - but we seem to have topped into it being ok for them to show sexual features but not expect sexual attraction from it.

and I can assure you both I (45 yo woman) and my ds (21 yo male) feel equally that we don’t want to be driving along the road seeing someone’s arse cheeks hanging out.

It’s not necessary. There’s more fuss about topless men than there is about this 🤔

i agree the wording isn’t the best but the outcome desired form the message is important.

The uniforms at my DS's schools incorporate the school logo on the bottoms. For the trousers, this means that it's off to the side, on one of the pockets; and for the skirts, when worn at the correct length, it's just above the knee. It looks very smart.

When girls wear their skirts ridiculously short, to see the logo would mean you would actually have to look a few inches to the side of their genitals - which is surely not the idea behind proudly displaying the school badge in the first place.

It also puts teachers in an extremely difficult position if, when telling pupils that they aren't wearing the correct badged skirt, they're basically having to admit to looking at their private areas - which will naturally invite accusations of "Ugh, you pervert/paedo - why are you looking there?" and similar.

YABU

Why do some women / girls have such difficulty in following a dress code?

Have a bit of humility and follow the rules.

I get that teen girls are interested in boys and want to feel attractive, but they don't need to sexualise themselves to be attractive and tbh its kinda trashy to be walking around with your ass out, not to mention grossly inappropriate for who are still school kids.

It will invariably draw attention of older men too, then we will hear about the "male gaze" etc 🙄

Just follow the dress code, its there for a number of positive reasons, including the dignity of those who are subject to it.

Same. I live across from a school and it's shocking how practically undressed some are.

I also think it’s a good letter. My dd’s state school is very strict and there is absolutely no skirt rolling up at all. Some other schools nearby have no strict rules and to be honest it makes the girls look awful with their pants showing . No one wants to see that and I don’t really know what they hope to gain by it either.

Girls used to roll their skirts up and wear those short shorts under. Now they wear a g-string and it’s vulgar. There’s no other word for it.

Another one who wishes they’d do something at dcs school, I don’t want to see arses. It’s not really a problem in the winter with black tights.
dcs schools skirt comes in one length. Which seem ridiculous when pupils are not one height.

It is vulger, the girls should have more pride and self worth.
It may be the elephant in the room, but I see so many overweight young schoolgirls who are walking around showing the tops of their legs and even their knickers when they bend down....it's not a good look.

I personally think it's just so incredibly unflattering.
It's just looks odd.
On Call the Midwife on TV when the character of Nancy got married (so meant to be 1969/70 ish) she wore a tiny tiny mini dress (as did the bridesmaids) and I thought it was just incredibly ugly and didn't suit her at all.
The short length was just awful.
I really don't think dresses or skirts that barely cover underwear looks good on anyone.
Although I do think denim shorts are quite a cool look.

I have a DD. I told her why “it’s a bad idea”.

1. it’s against the school rules. She gets a detention/gets in trouble , she deals with the consequences.
2. it’s fucking impractical and awkward, especially given how many stairs they have to navigate. They can’t more as freely, or be as active as the boys if they’re always worried their bums will show.
3. It looks fucking stupid. Not just the actual look (though having shorts longer than your skirt is daft), but the whole hold my skirt with my hand at the back thing, again, particularly on the stairs.

I did not mention the male gaze , predators , being a distraction and all that stuff. You CAN have a conversation about clothes being a bad idea /inappropriate for the occasion without it.

Thanks for that.

That is a very interesting take on the situation - equating it, but not quite, to male flashing.

My local school has changed the uniform skirt this year to an overknee kilt. It’s rolling out for the new year 7’s and then will carry on. Years 8-11 will wear the old style until they leave.