AIBU to challenge the school’s wording about pupils rolling skirts up?

[GreenSalon]

Weekly newsletter today from DC’s secondary school contained a paragraph on uniform including the fact that there have been complaints from the public about “pupils who choose to wear skirts” rolling them up to wear them extremely short. It finishes with asking parents to speak to their children about why this is “not a good idea”.

Now, apart from the fact I assume that they must mean girls, is this not clearly implying that short skirts = making themselves vulnerable and if is, then if anything bad happens as a result it is their own fault? I thought we had moved beyond this kind of nonsense.

I only have boys at the school not girls but want to write to the head to point out how utterly sexist this is. DH agrees with me pov but thinks I shouldn’t write. AIBU?

Yabu.

Much as I’m a feminist and agree with the sentiment that a woman is never “asking for it” due to the way she dresses, it’s still inappropriate to have your bum cheeks on display at school.

I have teenagers of both sexes and I’ve told my daughter (and my son) that men (wrongly) still see some ways of dressing as provocative so although she can wear what she wants and assault is never the fault of the victim, it’s something to be aware of, sadly.

I support girls autonomy and not being judged for their appearance. However, choice isn’t something that exists in a vacuum and schools can and should set reasonable uniform standards expectations that should be upheld.

I also question whether girls actually want to wear their skirts in this way and aren’t just falling foul on peer pressure.

uniform standards often aim to reduce peer pressure and move focus away from clothes and appearance and towards learning and education.

Why do girls want to dress like this though ? I just don't get it

2 different young women! One wore the bikini top with i think jeans, the other had sensible top, but micro mini and stilettos. The stilettos wouldn’t have been a reason to send ger home if she had been able to safely walk in them. The skirt was definitely a reason….

Thank you, it does help.

I was referring to the OP's posts.

Think about this… is there any situation or outfit that your boys could wear that is not appropriate for the occasion, or not appropriate at all? If yes, it’s the same principle.

Well it's good to see girls are still following the old "legs or tits but never both" rule 😆

I used to be a bit ‘meh’ let them get on with it however, I have a teen boy who worries he will be accused of ‘looking up skirts’ when girls are going upstairs. It’s not just a quick flash of knickers, it’s bare butt cheeks in thongs, soiled sanitary wear, ill fitting gussets. Quite the anatomy lesson. I find it odd as aside from the Nike pro trend several years back, I don’t see girls dressing like this outside of school.

Girls have always done the rolling the waistband over, but now they have taken it beyond the realm of decency.
They really should be taught about self worth and valuing themselves and their bodies more.

If the skirts are so short that members of the public are commenting on it then it sounds like they are a length that’s unprofessional or inappropriate for school. I believe there is a time and place for different types of clothes. Plus, it is not pervy or weird to not want to see the bums/underwear of school-age girls. I think the school’s wording was very measured and other schools could take a leaf out of their book

I think it's been cleared up, but if it makes you better to keep repeating yourself, who am I to spoil your fun?😆

It's extremely anti-feminist to convey the idea that uniform is only something that all the boys are able to manage without any fuss, but it's somehow just too difficult for many of the girls to understand.

It's no more complicated than replying to "Are you trying to tell me what I should wear?" with "Yes, that's precisely what a uniform is".

Apart from anything else they look ridiculous especially skirts that have pleats that go out of shape because of the rolling.

That was bad enough, thank you! I very much do not enjoy these conversations…. but their reasoning was along the lines of half their body being covered.

I agree

"I’ll let it go".......eventually.😏

I agree with your sentiment, but we have to get out of this mindset of emailing in every single time we don't fully agree with the exact wording within the newsletter etc.

My general rule of thumb is a) do I actually support the main issue here (students wearing their uniform correctly), and b) is this a big enough deal that I would actually go into school, or even pick up the phone and call in? Or am I just firing off an email that I don't really need to send, just because it's quick and easy to do.

Perhaps they could have said “Please remind your children that skirts are to be worn with the hem at the middle of the kneecap, because this creates a smart appearance for our pupils”, @Cantthinkofanewusernameffs. I do think that would be better than what I think they are implying in the message the OP got.

Like the majority of replies on here, having some decency and dignity should be important.

Getting annoyed with the schools newsletter is ridiculous.
The fact that these girls are walking around showing their butt cheeks is the issue.
Schools are not wrong to say to dress smartly and appropriately.

I reckon it is about control, self
determination, fitting in, playing with attracting attention… all of those things are important to teen girls. I don’t approve, I just offer this as
explanation!