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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Welfarisation has made people utterly entitled and unable to take responsibility for themselves and their families.

629 replies

hagchic · Yesterday 16:59

I grew up in a working class family. The values I was taught were that you stood on your own two feet and it was no one else's job to do what you could do for yourself.

If you were hurt, you were expected to get up and go and clean yourself up - and stop whining about it unless it was actually serious. If you were ill, you went to bed and if you were lucky some magic lucozade appeared.

If you were sad, then you were sad. If life was unfair then that was just how life was and you needed to deal with it.

You never ever sought charity or took benefits when you were able to work or put up with less. You lived to your own means, not to what you saw on TV or at school - and if you wanted that lifestyle it was up to you to get it.

Today everyone has the expectation that someone must help them, that they are obliged to help them - even before they have made any attempt to actually do the work of helping themselves. They expect luxuries like holidays, pets, new clothes and treats when they do nothing to earn this.

I think self sufficiency is a value that needs to return to our society.

OP posts:
Happytaytos · Yesterday 17:01

Hard agree.

Look at schools...

Lomonald · Yesterday 17:02

Well all that sounds uncaring and miserable, having that attitude doesn't make people as resilient as you think it does, usually make people stubborn judgemental and bitter,

vodkaredbullgirl · Yesterday 17:02

🍿 at the ready

FollowingSpiders · Yesterday 17:02

I think a good starting point then would be minimum wage. A massive increase.

XenoBitch · Yesterday 17:04

Here we go. The Friday evening benefit bashing thread. Like clockwork.

Preppercorn · Yesterday 17:04

Agreed OP.

hagchic · Yesterday 17:05

XenoBitch · Yesterday 17:04

Here we go. The Friday evening benefit bashing thread. Like clockwork.

and here you are, like clockwork

OP posts:
hagchic · Yesterday 17:07

@Lomonald I think I'll take that over feckless, lazy and entitled

OP posts:
ToKittyornottoKitty · Yesterday 17:07

Sounds like you had mean parents growing up.

MyFairLadyC · Yesterday 17:08

I agree completely. Personal responsibility isn’t a thing anymore. I’m sick of seeing decent, professional people who are up against it, social workers, police, teachers etc being demonised in the news for doing their human best but failing to be perfect robots and then seeing on the other side of the story even hardened criminals portrayed as very entitled but innocent victims of circumstances who don’t have to follow any rules or receive any consequences or behave in any kind of civilised way towards others at all. Baffling.

PurpleLovecats · Yesterday 17:08

Oh good, another benefit bashing thread. And people with MH issues were thrown in institutions, disabled children lived shorter lives due to less input, there were workhouses.
Sounds idyllic.

hagchic · Yesterday 17:09

@ToKittyornottoKitty It was the prevailing attitude in my community to be honest.

Those who whined about their misfortune, or made terrible decisions and expected others to bail them out , those who refused to do what was needed to care for themselves and those they were responsible for - they were not liked or admired or tolerated.

OP posts:
Bbcsounds · Yesterday 17:09

I’ll speak severely to my legs and tell them just to work properly shall I?

XenoBitch · Yesterday 17:10

Bbcsounds · Yesterday 17:09

I’ll speak severely to my legs and tell them just to work properly shall I?

Sounds like you need Lucozade.

ABOOO · Yesterday 17:10

YANBU in a way.

I was absolutely shocked yesterday when a neighbour told me how angry she was that her inheritance from her late mother, will mean she'll have to come off of benefits.

Rather than be pleased she doesn't have to claim them anymore, she was actually livid 😳

concertinacornflake · Yesterday 17:11

This is quite funny, really - because there's LESS support now than there was in the 60s, 70s, 80s.

Less welfare, less access to services now.

The OP is full of made up nonsense.

Bbcsounds · Yesterday 17:11

XenoBitch · Yesterday 17:10

Sounds like you need Lucozade.

In the orange cellophane.

Urgentbiscuitrequired · Yesterday 17:12

Boring thread.

Been done to death.

XenoBitch · Yesterday 17:12

Bbcsounds · Yesterday 17:11

In the orange cellophane.

Yes, that was the proper healing one 😄

Bbcsounds · Yesterday 17:12

PS. I work full time and pay higher rate tax.

I get PIP.

what say you to that?

PenelopeJoanSterling · Yesterday 17:13

hagchic · Yesterday 17:07

@Lomonald I think I'll take that over feckless, lazy and entitled

history proves your case weather your right or not, research the victorian era prewalfare society, and youll have your answer

hagchic · Yesterday 17:13

It's not about the services that were available.

It was more about the attitude that you did not use those services unless there were no other choices at all.

That you did everything you could to avoid the shame of asking for help - it was seen as personal failure.

OP posts:
KeenLemonPanda · Yesterday 17:13

You'll get flamed OP but I agree with you completely.

concertinacornflake · Yesterday 17:13

hagchic · Yesterday 17:09

@ToKittyornottoKitty It was the prevailing attitude in my community to be honest.

Those who whined about their misfortune, or made terrible decisions and expected others to bail them out , those who refused to do what was needed to care for themselves and those they were responsible for - they were not liked or admired or tolerated.

Oh give over, what is this fantasy land?

ToKittyornottoKitty · Yesterday 17:13

hagchic · Yesterday 17:09

@ToKittyornottoKitty It was the prevailing attitude in my community to be honest.

Those who whined about their misfortune, or made terrible decisions and expected others to bail them out , those who refused to do what was needed to care for themselves and those they were responsible for - they were not liked or admired or tolerated.

Not sure why you think being horrible and lacking any sort of compassion or empathy for literally anything is a good thing. Your community were mean and miserable. The alternative to that isn’t automatically benefit claimants.