CRP level and DP’s reaction, would you be upset?

[Treasdre]

I have felt extremely unwell in the last week. I eventually went to hospital despite DP (surgeon!!!) telling me I would be wasting hospital time and that I would eventually get over whatever was in my system.

Anyway while he was at work yesterday I was in so much pain I got a taxi to hospital. When I got there I was given an urgent scan with dye as CRP was over 400. I messaged DP and said I was staying in and he said he would be over after work but I was being dramatic about 400 being massively high and he’d seen higher. I just feel so hurt. We’ve only been together 2 years and he does have form for being a bit cold sometimes but AIBU to think this was a shitty thing to say to me especially from a surgeon who surely knows that is a high reading?

edited to add that I am not medically trained but the person doing my scan said the reading was extremely high and I urgently needed the scan. I’ve been googling since then and it says online too that it’s high. I feel like he completely invalidated how unwell I was feeling and how serious this is

He was being a dick

Yeah - you’re not a priority for him.
Hope you recover well.

@AliceAbsolum i keep thinking I am probably being over emotional as I am feeling so physically drained but I just can’t stop going over what he said

So… have they got to the route of why your inflammatory markers are high? Mine was 320
when I had sepsis. There is no doubt that number is high. He sounds like a horrible man, gaslighting you! Or maybe he is just a really rubbish Doctor.

Yanbu. Get well soon. X

Does he invalidate you with other things?

@Ibwah yes I have campylobacter

That sounds awful. What a way to speak to you - I hope you have others who are looking after you.

@Ibwah could I have developed sepsis from that?!

@AliceAbsolum not particularly I don’t think but he is quite full of himself when anything medical comes up. I wonder if he was embarrassed he had told me to stay home now I think about it more

I would hate any doctor who responded like that, sneering at my alarm about something that was making me feel very ill and which another doctor had confirmed was alarming.
Doing that to a partner is even more contemptible. If he can't see that and apologise properly, I'd leave him.

Raised CRP is an indication of inflammation, which many conditions cause. You have an infection and inflammation comes hand in hand with that. Sepsis starts with an infection but not all infections lead to sepsis. Raised CRP does not = sepsis. Also, has your “d” P changed his tune and apologised now that there is a clear diagnosis?

Two years feels like a longtime, but honestly, out of your lifetime it's a blink!

you deserve much better!

you're not well enough to deal with it niw, take whatever help he can guve

when you're well enough, have a very good think about why you'd want to waste more if your life with him.

Hope you get well soon 💕🌷

Jeez. Mine was 284 with sepsis and I was straight onto heavy duty iv antibs with my dh not leaving my side until he had to go and get a hospital staying in bag for me!! How incredibly awful. I'm so sorry

In my experience, a lot of doctors are like this with their own families. They’ve seen worse cases so it can’t be that bad!

My sister (GP) told my mum that her bowel cancer was “only moderately serious”. It still managed to kill her 🤷‍♀️.

Your DP is being a tit. He absolutely knows that a CRP of 400 is bloody high. Why isn’t he concerned that you’ve been deemed unwell enough to admit to hospital? I’d never see him in the same light after this. He sounds insufferable.

I'm sorry you're dealing with this. Is he like this in other areas? I just wonder whether this is a blind spot for him, eg if he's used to dealing with very serious medical issues every day that his perspective of what is 'routine' is skewed compared to a layperson. Not that that justifies it at all, I'm just wondering if he's better in other areas whether this is something there's scope for him to reflect and change. If he's not prepared to change though - you deserve something better.

With campylobacter and a CRP of 400, there's no wonder you've been feeling very poorly. Your H sounds horrible.

Ugh campylobacter is awful, I went to hospital with that too as I felt like something was really wrong. I lost 17lbs and my hair fell out loads 3 months later

@Treasdrewell done for trusting your instincts and seeking help, I hope you are feeling better soon. As for your DP’s behaviour, it’s abysmal but I’m afraid in my experience it’s par for the course when having medics in the family. Growing up, unless there was severe blood loss/broken bones/impending organ failure then sympathy was in short supply! I hope your DP develops some empathy but I wouldn’t be holding my breath.

Maybe it depends on the specialty he’s in?
I have Crohns and my last crp reading was over 2000. Obviously I’m getting treated, but as an outpatient only. I’m functioning fairly normally. So maybe the figure needs interpreting depending on the medical issue and he did this wrong?

His attitude seems very unsupportive though.
I hope you’re feeling much better soon OP.

ETA Please ignore the above OP!
I was thinking of a different inflammatory marker, calprolectin, not crp 🫣

Ime the bad times can be a good indicator of how good a relationship is... For example my exh would never ever acknowledge my migraines. Even when I was puking relentlessly..
But you look fine was his fucking mantra.
Exh..
You need to raise your bar
. Which means raise the level at which you accept being treated...

He sounds like a typical surgeon to me @Treasdre l hope you feel much better very soon .

I am going to say this plainly.

This man doesnt care for you and doesn't even like you.

It would a huge mistake to do any of the following:

• not break up with him now
• marry him
• have a child with him
• give up work following children

Get far away from him asap.

Fucking disgraceful behaviour on his part.
I'd actually argue he is pretty much violating the hippocratic oath and "do no harm" in his treatment of you. He essentially dissuaded you from seeking medical care you clearly need.

A CRP of over 400 is astronomical, for reference normal CRP is less than 4, I’m not surprised you were feeling unwell.