CRP level and DP’s reaction, would you be upset?

[Treasdre]

I have felt extremely unwell in the last week. I eventually went to hospital despite DP (surgeon!!!) telling me I would be wasting hospital time and that I would eventually get over whatever was in my system.

Anyway while he was at work yesterday I was in so much pain I got a taxi to hospital. When I got there I was given an urgent scan with dye as CRP was over 400. I messaged DP and said I was staying in and he said he would be over after work but I was being dramatic about 400 being massively high and he’d seen higher. I just feel so hurt. We’ve only been together 2 years and he does have form for being a bit cold sometimes but AIBU to think this was a shitty thing to say to me especially from a surgeon who surely knows that is a high reading?

edited to add that I am not medically trained but the person doing my scan said the reading was extremely high and I urgently needed the scan. I’ve been googling since then and it says online too that it’s high. I feel like he completely invalidated how unwell I was feeling and how serious this is

could you elaborate as I have recently had a few dates with one

The man is a fool. A CRP of 400 is really high and as a doctor I am surprised he is acting like it doesn’t warrant an investigation and immediate diagnosis. Honestly you deserve better! LTB!

Ask him why he dismissed you, put it out in the light else it might keep happening...

I'd be tempted to only say 'as you say, it's nothing' if he asks after you then block him. If he is that dismissive I'd be very petty.

I'm suprised he hasn't tried to add in 'mine is higher than that' yet. I don't buy into :the way I show love is by dismissing others fears"..

400 is high and you are clearly unwell- Some medical professionals (being one myself) see such terrible things that they become desensitised, it may be that rather than he doesn’t care. I am actually on the opposite side, I over react to everything because I know bad things do happen and can come out of nowhere. Hope you feel better soon.

This in spades. He’s horrible.

I was so so relieved when she kicked him out. On top of everything else he was an alcoholic - it’s a miracle no one was injured when he worked on the labour wards.

I love this advice. Going to tell my daughter and all her friends.

Surgeon is supposed to be one of the careers that attracts psychopaths. I work with physicians and even they hate surgeons! (Obviously I'm generalising, not all surgeons)

Typical bloody surgeon (sorry). Yes I’ve seen a higher CRP but that doesn’t mean to say it’s ok - 400 is a pretty damned high CRP and you need urgent medical review to find out the cause of that. Agree, your DH is being an ass.

He’s a surgeon. Known for duck qualities.

This! Surgeons are not known for empathy, especially orthopods.

my ex husband (doctor) said i was ‘embarrassing’ when i cried during my lumber puncture and went out on a works night out with other doctors including (some who worked on the ward i was on)when i was subsequently admitted with a suspected subdural haemorrhage as there was ‘nothing’ he could do overnight so he might as well stick to his plans.
ex for many reasons including that one.
even now he minimises everyone’s medical issues which meant our daughters pyelonephritis was not treated for two days as i was away and he thought she was ‘playing up’.
OP he’s a typical surgeon with an ego bigger than his care for those he is meant to love. it won’t get better.

In his defence (only marginally, mind) CRP is very sensitive but it isn't specific. You can be extremely unwell with, say, a CRP of 150, but only moderately unwell with a CRP of 300.

For example, my DH went to the GP and saw an ANP who said he had flu. I disagreed, so took him to A&E. He was walking, talking, feeling a bit unwell and vaguely disorientated (but still orientated to time, person and place), but looked ok. His heart rate was within normal limits, but I pointed out to staff that it was double his usual resting heart rate. They also had difficulty getting a good sats reading because his fingers were a bit yellow and cold. He was sitting in majors when they swooped down on him to say they were taking him to get comfy. His CRP was 639. He had lobular pneumonia.

My point is, he had a sky high CRP but his body was compensating pretty well. He was heading for sepsis (lactate high) but the antibiotics turned it around in time. Someone with a much more severe infection could have a lower CRP.

As a surgeon, @Treasdre's DP will likely have seen necrotic infections with stupidly high CRPs.

Are Surgeons Sociopaths? What the Research Shows - ScienceInsights

Not speaking for all obs but most do have a God like complex. You know saving lives and all. Very good physical skills but not people skills.

That is so high.
I have an autoimmune condition and mine wasn't near that and i was so ill.

He's a prick.
A belittling nasty incompetent prick.

He certainly isn't a good doctor, man or partner.

Sounds like a narcissistic twat.

Rethink the relationship.

Ugh. 400 is high. My DH is a surgeon too and he's always been like this. I am another type of doctor so I'm fairly sanguine about it. But yes, I do sometimes idly wonder how close to actual death I'd need to be for him to say more than "ach you'll be fine". I did do the same to him during covid and felt guilty - he ended up with bad enough covid to be hospitalised and I had been telling him to just buck up a bit and have a lemsip. I'd never have said that to an actual patient!
I hope you feel better soon, and your DP gets his head out of his bum and shows some sympathy

I had the pilori thing and the pain was horrible, we almost went to the A and E

Did they give you two antibiotics and the stomach pill?

They say that doctors tend to go one of two ways when their loved ones are ill, due to having cared for so many ill people at work - either completely underestimate it and miss the red flags, or massively overly worry even when objectively it's fine. It seems he's in the first group. I'm an ex doc and am in the second group - massive hypochondriac when it comes to DD's health - which is also infuriating for DH. Surgeons are renowned for not being the sensitive type (to say the least). Is he insensitive/ mean in other ways, or mainly just weird around health stuff?

Accord8ng to all the healthcare workers I know, surgeons have attendance to be arrogant.
Whats the difference between God and a surgeon? God knows he’s not a surgeon.
@Treasdre I hope you feel better soon.

Was gonna say - bet he’s an orthopod

Same here, I'd been feeling terrible for over a week and it wouldn't shift. 400 is a very high CRP and he knows that full well - of course it could be higher but anyone getting that result is going to be given urgent treatment.

Ditch him unless you want a life of always having it minimised whenever you're unwell. And tell him he's behaved like a dick and that's why it's over.

I used to work with surgeons. An orthopaedic surgeon was extremely rude to me in front of a theatre full of staff. They are a law to themselves. Another surgeon once yelled at me for passing the instrument he’d just asked for.

I hope you feel better soon.