Home alone

[KillswitchMinge]

AIBU to leave my 16yo over night?

I'm dating and it's going well. I'd like to occasionally spend the night at his but I've never left DS before. He is sensible and I would be reachable on the phone.

I'm not ready for DS to meet him yet and I feel like it would be extremely awkward to bring him back to stay if DS is home even if nothing happened.

No judgement but I personally wouldn’t . Would you be able to relax ?

Absolutely not. 16 is still a child, he’ll feel abandoned even if just for one night. Could he stay at a friend’s house instead?

Personally I wouldn't either. Can he stay with GP or his Dad or at a friend's?

Surprised at the first few answers. I’d think most 16 yr olds would be totally fine for one night.

I think it’s ok if you are nearby & contactable. And he’s sensible. You know him best. Mine loved having the house to themself. Didn’t do it all the time and wouldn’t have done it if they didn’t want me to.

Plenty of 16 year olds are perfectly capable of staying alone for one night, many of them even go on holiday.
The suggestion that he will definitely “feel abandoned” is ridiculous, many teenagers are happy for a bit of space.
Just speak to him and ask him how he feels.

I remember being alone overnight at that age. I loved it!

I’d have been thrilled to have the house to myself for a night at 16.

of course unless your child would really hate it. He could live in his own flat with your permission....

Of course yanbu he’s 16 I’m guessing he’d be made up

Sure! I mean if he’s mature and responsible. Is there a neighbour of family close by he can call in an emergency? Or maybe a friend stay with him if he’s a bit nervous (or he stay with a mate). I know many kids would love a bit of independence for a night or two. One risk: unauthorised party!

No, not without a friend.

I can't believe so many people think an average 16 year old would be traumatised by being alone for one night. Legally, he could live on his own at that age. Surely people aren't waiting til 18 and off to uni before they ever leave their kids alone!

Knowing why might give him nightmares, and I'd not do it on a school night in case he stays up all night gaming or something (actually, he's probably left anyway), but as long as he's comfortable being in the house alone then go for it!

When I was 16 my parents were jetting off to France or Spain for a week.

Unless you’ve raised him so poorly that he doesn’t have an inch of independence at this age, he’ll be absolutely fine and would likely be thrilled to have an evenings peace.

Absolute madness. He's 16. He's not a child he's two years away from adulthood. What kind of parents are you who won't prepare your kids for adulthood? It's shameful.

Really does depend on the child.

DS at 16 no chance, DS at 14 absolutely.

But I’ve never needed to do purely answering on how they were at each age.

of course it's fine, he's almost an adult and it's one night.

Dd was staying at home on her own at 16 if the next door neighbours were home so she had someone available nearby if needed. It was her choice, she could have gone to a relative.

He is very mature, independent and sensible but I haven't been away over night before.

Not really sure why I'm questioning it - he will probably be quite happy to have the place to himself but I was never left over night as a teen (younger siblings so someone always stayed with us if parents were away).

Obviously I wont be telling him the gory details, will just frame it as going out and not wanting to drive home or something.

a 6 year old would feel abandoned. I very much doubt a sensible 16 year old would feel quite the same way. My parents were off to Greece for a week when I was that age. I loved pretending it was all my house 😂 I was also home alone in other peoples houses overnight at 15 babysitting their young children. how do you expect them to manage adult life if they are never left? He has a phone, you’re contactable. If he knows who to call on the very slim chance anything other than staying up too late gaming happens I’m not sure what the problem is.
you know him best but I think as long as he doesn’t know why you’re out (that may traumatise the poor lad- nobody likes thinking of their mum having a sex lufe 😂) then it’ll be fine

These comments are ridiculous I had my own flat and a baby at 16. People seriously need to stop infantilizing their children this is why they can't cope in the real world

I think it’s fine, you know him best. Pizza in the fridge for him and he’ll be okay!
I was left every other weekend from when I was 14 - used to have my best friend round and we’d make choreography videos on our camcorder, make flapjacks and eat them raw out of the saucepan, update our ‘who do you fancy the most’ list, and fall asleep on the sofas watching films. Idyllic days tbh.
Ds is 14, if he was happy to be left I’d do it if I wanted, as it happens there hasn’t been a need to. We have lovely neighbours either side of us who never really go anywhere and who we are good friends with so if there were any emergencies they’d be on hand to help.

Thanks for the sense check everyone 😁