Poor soul having to manage his own childcare...

[Diamondcushions]

I know IAB and I'm sure his current situation is difficult and painful, but in the last week I've been in two meetings with a very senjor man who manages a large workforce, and who is going through a separation. They've gone for 50/50 and there are soooo many things he can't possibly do, that he used to do, because childcare.

It's like watching a cartoon lightbulb moment.

@Bluehouse14 Do you think Oxbridge educated women are less likely to marry abusive men then?

Well yes, it clearly does.

I imagine the ‘leap’ @Bluehouse14, was from when you said that…

I didn't report it FYI, someone else must have. Good for them. May more of your wacky posts get deleted.

You’re just making assumptions based upon an inability to actually understand how single parenting works. A single parent does 100% of parenting on the days they have the children. Anyone taking that on will have to adapt massively. There seem to be an awful lot of rather nasty mean spirited and frankly thick people commenting on this thread who lack the capacity to do simple maths.

Hope that makes sense.

I think we all know @Bluehouse14, that you were the only one that reported it. No one else has agreed with you on this thread.

So, you're on here gloating over someone else's misfortune... yet HE'S the bad guy!? 🤔

Or maybe they had equal partners until the baby came along?!? I used to bring more money to the pot. After baby, (back at work 16 weeks) I did everything except put the rubbish out and petrol in the car. I've had 2 very understanding female bosses. I currently have a male boss - he might just(!) be the most understanding because he's so hands on with his own kids! Unsurprisingly I offered more than EOW, so far XH has done 3 overnights in a year.

I thought you were no longer engaging? Another hot tip: never, ever announce a flounce. Flounce or don't flounce, but never ever announce it, because then you just come back and, well. It's the best advice I can give after "stop blaming women for being treated like dirt and making spiteful posts about them".

'I AM LEAVING!'
.
.
.
.
.'HOWEVER.......'
😂

Just because you haven’t experienced something doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. No one is pretending anything they just have a different experience to you.

It’s like saying everyone is fibbing when they say they like wine, when you’re only ever tried Blue Nun.

Oxbridge degree
Didn’t report post
Amazing marriage
Friends all have amazing marriages
Everyone else bitter

✅

got it

Sorry I haven't read any of your posts, thanks for scrolling through mine though. I also don't intend to read yours or any of the other exceedingly bitter posts which seem comically hellbent on twisting my words. It is literally not worth my time. And nope the post you have quoted still doesn't justify the leap I'm afraid. Alas.

It must be very lonely living with the belief that everyone is so awful.

Literally all true (not the everybody else is bitter part - only one or two on this thread). But now you write it like that, I have a bloody good life don't I?! No no, I said I was out. Must not engage. Must go to bed. Must find my degree certificate and husband to make sure I didnt make it all up.

.

@Bluehouse14 regardless of your intentions I take these accusations personally.
I did things by the book. I met a partner, lived with him. Then got married and had a baby. I went to a 'red brick' uni, albeit not Oxbridge. What else would you recommend?

Do not take anything that person says as any kind of worthwhile reflection on you.

On a serious note, it is actually perhaps a good thing they turned up, because it shows the level of thought and reason (and general attitude) that goes into blaming women for being treated like shit, and that should be a comfort to you.

The mythical woman scorned.

How pitiful that anyone would consider that a valid opinion.

Prioritising his children or ensuring he doesn't have to pay maintenance.

I find the enthusiasm for 50/50 seems to drop off in most of my friend's ex's ... They want it "on paper" so they don't have to pay maintenance but are often less keen on the reality

No, it's not one bit lonely. I have several friends who ended up with ex husbands realizing too late what they had signed up for in hopes of sticking it to women they once promised to love, honour, cherisn, blah, blah.

We'd all be laughing a lot more at the ex's were it not for the fact that children ended up bearing the brunt of the incompetence and immaturity and sheer, unadulterated selfishness of their fathers.

Oh and the arrogance..

I thought the OPs point was that women are expected to fulfil their entire roles at work regardless of their parenting arrangements.

Exactly.
I know too many mums who agreed to 50/50 thinking they were doing the right thing and being progressive only for one or both of the following to happen

• dad only wanted 50/50 on paper and rapidly reduced contact /became flaky leaving mum hugely financially disadvantaged
• dad resented /didn't care about basic parts of parenting - optician,,, dentist, doctor, vaccinations, hair cuts, homework,hobbies. play dates, sorting medication, actually administering medication, .... So mum had to cram all that into the chunks of time she had the children in

Thank you @ThatCyanCat! Despite knowing I'm doing everything by the book. I get the occasional wobble. But, for the stay at home parents please remember that afterschool clubs or similar are that parent's cost that day!