Inconsequential but HIGHLY irritating things your DH does

[itslikecakesbutitsnotcakes]

I’m not talking ‘fails to do any housework’ or ‘won’t parent his own kids’ but minor irritations that make you want to scream but you can’t because its so petty. For me

Refuses to use the automatic windscreen wiper. Instead he waits until he has no visibility and then manually flips the wiper on once. In heavy rain he’s doing it every couple of seconds. Just put the bloody auto wipers on!!

Unloads the dishwasher but leaves select things stacked up ‘near’ the cupboard or drawer they live in rather than putting them away. Apparently they are left there to ‘thoroughly dry’.

Rage!!!

I must admit I do this. I don't trust it.

DH always has it on. There you are driving down some dark, unlit, twisty road with headlights on full beam when something comes the other way. Nothing happens! I say, you are still on full beam,he says it's ok they will dip automatically. Meanwhile the poor sod coming the other way is blinded and flashing their lights until the auto thing decides to kicks in. I much prefer to do it manually as soon as I see something coming the other way.

Yet another one here with a windscreen wiper weirdo! Drives me nuts.
Why don't they understand the concept of switching it on just the once when it's raining saves time, effort and wear and tear on the switch. Bonkers!

my dp is amazing-hes never let me down,pulls his weight on everything and is an all round good egg

however,he drives me insane when he uses the same towel over and over again (i think i counted 5 weeks between washes-and trust me,im not a 'use it once and boil wash it')
he cleans out his waxy ears on the corners and when the corners run out,he starts on the seams and then dries between each toe
it drives me mad-i chuck it in the wash once a week as part of the once a week white wash and he acts shocked every time

he will use a toothbrush until it falls apart in his hand
i cannot count how many times i've messaged him to say 'your toothbrush is the red one now' and i get a shocked 'there's still life in the blue one!'
mate,it had no bristles left!

'thats how my mum does it'
i adore my mil,i honestly worship the ground she walks on but shes set in her ways and there are different ways of doing whatever it is

he seems to think the washing machine is mine (to be fair,i like doing the washing) and no matter how many times i show him how to use it and the dryer,he just doesn't get it
he stands there,looking gormlessly at it like its going to set itself-the best laugh is,he's the one that saves any booklets that come with white goods and hes the one that studies them and saves them (i wouldnt have a clue where he keeps them!)

he sneezes like steam train-min 5 sneezes

he is amazing,i pulled a nerve in my hip a few weeks ago and couldn't have coped without him
he's always got my back,he supports me in everyway,we laugh at the daftest things and we adore each other

however,if he was the one writing this about me,he'd write pages of my bad habits (i have a few!)
i don't know how he puts up with me!

We decide we'll take the dog for a walk - I say 'where?' or suggest x,y,z he will not decide till we are sat in the car where we are going. (it's a joint decision) but different things are needed - i.e. a towel if it's a beach walk, the long lead if there might be livestock, water if it's a dry walk.... so one of always ends up going back in to get the thing.

Just bloody agree before we leave the house...

Bog seat up.

Every. Single. Time.

Having interrogated a former boyfriend about this I have the answer: hairy men retain a lot more water on their bodies. If they are therefore the kind of person who switches off the shower and instantly jumps out (instead of say, waiting a handful of moments for the water to drain off and then grabbing the towel and doing the bulk of the drying before you leave the shower tray) an extraordinary amount of water gets flung everywhere.

In my experience, people who do this have no idea there is another way.

I think the MN website would crash if I listed all the irritations

Yawns making a sound like Chewbacca.

Vomits making a sound like a squealing pig.

Puts new roll of toilet paper on top of the finished one.

Leaves shaving gel in and around ears so it dries looking like horrendous dandruff.

Unloads the dishwasher from the top, so anything still wet, wets the stuff underneath. Puts things that he knows cannot go in the dishwasher in the dishwasher.

I literally thought I was the only person that gets the rage from this. My DH knows I hate him doing it but he feels so compelled to do it that I will catch him out of the corner of my eye shuffling across the kitchen. I have to yell “Don’t even think about it” and then he pretends he want going to do if. I’m going to tell him now there is a diagnosis for his affliction and it’s “SPOONY FUCKER”.

It's fascinating how so many men/husbands and male partners have such similar (annoying) habits. Chatting shit/talking too much seems to be quite common, and spending AGES in the loo, not stacking the dishwasher properly, yawning and sneezing very loudly, and following you around like a shadow when you're busy (whilst chatting shit at you!) all seem to be quite common! 😆

Cannot access things in kitchen cupboards. So we have an increasingly growing collection of pickles, spreads and sauces on the kitchen sides, meaning there is little space to set plates down.

Slams the front door by pulling behind him.
Leaves the downstairs loo door open.
TV too loud and never turns it off when he leans the room.

A lot of my irritation is noise based.

Can't see anything in the airing cupboard or pantry unless it is literally at the front.

"We've got no brown sauce"

"Yes we have"

"Nope can't see any"

I go and get it from behind the salt and pepper pots (where it always is) but still perfectly visible.

"It was hidden at the back!"

No ! It was 2 inches from the front of the shelf and everything in the pantry can't be at the front FGS.

I do love him dearly though.

Oh I think that's a long standing competition with my DH. Mine roars out the sneeze as if attempting to blast his head off. In fairness the 10th one does almost seem like it might happen!

Leaves his electric toothbrush on the dark tiled windowsill where it leaves toothpaste everywhere every single day! He says it shouldn’t go in the drawer as it’s dirty but I shove them all in there every day after I have wiped the sill.. grr!

Never tidies away the yoga mat after using it. Fed up of it lying across the living room floor or bedroom floor after every use!

Thankyou! I really do thing he shakes like a dog coming out of water!

Offers to “do” the kitchen after dinner… when I’ve already done it all while cooking, like all in the dishwasher apart from what’s on the table, normally wiped the sides down too. Never offers when I’ve not done all the pre work. I just say no thanks I’ll finish it, making a point of the fact it’s almost nearly done! He’s a chancer!

He uses the free drinks on my Costa app. I'm a SAHM and all money is shared, so there's absolutely zero financial impact. But it pisses me right off, I was saving those!

Oh I recognise this. infuriating. I am the finder of things that were never lost.

finds it impossible to use a pan without making a mess of the hob. I can juggle 3 and at worst it needs a cursory flash wipe, but with him it looks like the aftermath of the Somme.

He even managed it while poaching eggs the other day. I have no idea how.

Uses all pans/bowls so it takes me longer to wash up than it does him to make dinner.

WILL not bring down his empty shower gel bottles/cardboard tubes of loo roll then admits he was waiting to see how long it would take me to do it!

I really can't whinge, he does all finances (I have full access but can't be arsed to sort new mortgage offers/savings research etc), most of the cooking, walks the dogs three times a day and doesn't mind if I can't be bothered to go with him.

Any dodgy emails/messages I get from scammers, he looks at and dismisses/reassures me they're fake.

Mine does it while in the bin. I was struggling to get any more in it while making dinner, last night. He compressed it all down to make another couple of inches. I told him that if he left it like that, I'd be dumping the rubbish in his work chair.

My ex-MIL once boasted that she ironed everything including towels (?!) and knickers. Waxed lyrical on the loveliness of ironed undies. My now exH blithely stated 'oh, Bats knickers are too small to iron'. MIL made a cat's bum face, she obviously thought I was a hussy 😂

The online grocery shop is his job. But he doesn't get off his arse to see if we already have plenty of something so if it's a good deal, he'll buy it. So I have to try and neatly store the 7th jar of peanut butter without snapping. Sometimes if we have obscene quantities of an item I'll write on the shopping list NOT to buy it to prevent the future inevitable internal rage I'll get unpacking it. But having to write a do not buy list doesn't exactly fill me with joy either.

Also does the delayed wiper thing.
Always has his mouth open.
After washing up still continues to squash the dishcloth into a ball and put it in the washing liquid/scourer holder thingy.....after years of telling him not to.
Does everything at a snails pace.
Oh and breaths ⚰