Inconsequential but HIGHLY irritating things your DH does

[itslikecakesbutitsnotcakes]

I’m not talking ‘fails to do any housework’ or ‘won’t parent his own kids’ but minor irritations that make you want to scream but you can’t because its so petty. For me

Refuses to use the automatic windscreen wiper. Instead he waits until he has no visibility and then manually flips the wiper on once. In heavy rain he’s doing it every couple of seconds. Just put the bloody auto wipers on!!

Unloads the dishwasher but leaves select things stacked up ‘near’ the cupboard or drawer they live in rather than putting them away. Apparently they are left there to ‘thoroughly dry’.

Rage!!!

The father of my children (an ex) had a habit when he was dropping the children home after a weekend, of standing at the open front door (in the middle of winter) saying 'well I'll be going now then' and not going for about 20 minutes - by which time all the heat had gone out of the front door.

My adult daughter and her family came round for a meal last night and I mentioned to one of my grandsons that he was acting exactly as his grandfather used to do - in that he said he was going but made no move to do so. Everyone laughed - apparently my ex still does that.

Oh god, this! And mine then continues a 10 minute monologue conversation based entirely on what he decided I said.
Him: "Have you seen the next door neighbours this morning?"
Me: "N.."
Him (interrupting): "Yes? Oh that's good, they must be back from London then. I'll go over and ask them if they still need the strimmer."
Me: "But I haven't..."
Him (interrupting again): "I'll go over there in a minute after I..." (blah blah blah...10 minutes of absolutely nothing of consequence)
Me: (sigh) Ok, fine

I'm considering getting a life-sized cardboard cut out of myself to leave in the kitchen for him to talk at so I can go round the house getting on with something else!

I'd leave them in a pile on the bed (unwashed) until he stops pairing them. Could you get him one of those bags that keep things separate in the laundry. He can put his socks in there and the bag can go in the laundry.

Mine will also spend a good 15 minutes answering a question if he's interested in the topic, by which time DS or I have lost the will to live.

Comments about what I'm doing, while I'm doing it. Example would be I'm in the kitchen making a sandwich, and in he walks....

"You making a sandwich then?"

No shit Sherlock!! 😂

Him "John Smith died"
Me. Who's JS
Him. You know who it is. Bob Smiths son
Me. Never heard of him
Him. You know him, he worked at Blah
Blah. Big bloke with a beard.

This would go on until I eventually caved and said I remembered him.

Brings a pint glass of water to bed every single night… but never drinks ANY of it. So have to carry the glass to the bathroom to empty it before carrying it back downstairs, or carry back down a really full glass… then brings another one back up! Dishwasher full of stupid pint glasses that are basically unused. He does the carrying etc not me but it drives me distracted even watching him do it

Ooh I thought of another one. Never actually says the name of an item so I have to guess.
“Should I put the thing in the fridge”
the what?
the butter
ok so say butter.
Or from another room “is this supposed to be in the bag,”
what? I’m not in the room, what is “this!”

Does the washing up but never washes the washing up bowl or the sink. E er washes mugs or glasses, just leaves them on the side.

I just chuck them in the machine in whatever state they are, I leave it to him to un ball, pair up, whatever . No extra work for me !

Ours go on the socktopus to dry. If he can’t be arsed to pair them then I take it upstairs, open his drawer, and unclip with gay abandon. Nary a care for whether they are matched.

Mine does that.

"What shall I do with this" he says, when he's behind me, or in another room.

"I don't know what you're talking about, I don't have eyes in the back of my head. And if I stop what I'm doing to supervise what you're doing I may as well just do it all myself, but it will take twice as long."

Last week I had a story about Phil. I interrupted and said "who are you talking about?", he says "I told you, Phil"

" I don't know who Phil is"

"Yes you do, my lodger"

"Oh, I thought his name was Paul?"

"Yes, that's who I'm talking about"

FFS! I don't even care about his lodger (who I've never met) and some story about his job anyway!

Mine also does this, all the inside bins full and yet the outside bin is just wheeled further from the house. I’m also notified that he has done the bins like he has done me a huge favour,

Now I have the opposite problem. My DH will just go and sit in the car and turn it on whilst I’m still completing 3872439847239479384 million jobs to get three kids and a dog out the house. Gives me the rage to see him sat there choosing music whilst I try to navigate shoes, coats, snacks etc, I then often flop in the car and realise I still haven’t had my wee that I needed an hour ago so go back in to have one and I get huffed and puffed at.

OMG! Yes this is exactly my experience! I get hugged and puffed at cos he's having to wait for me while he sits there and I'm running around like a mad woman doing all the last minute jobs! The audacity!! I feel your pain!

Eugh. It’s so annoying. I totally lose my train of thought as I then feel him getting cross with me for keeping everyone waiting. So bloody entitled to just waltz off and calmly allow all the things get checked and double checked by me whilst muttering under his breath.

Stop being a martyr and tell him to come back and step up.

He has the misfortune of a partner who thinks that's an acceptable thing to say.

I’m on a roll now see.
TBF he does all the cooking which means he’s often in the kitchen (while I’m lolling on the sofa drinking wine) so he’s amazing but almost every night there is an exclamation or expletive that indicates we are all in serious danger.
“AAAAAAAAAGGHHHHHHHHH FAAAAAAAARRRRRRK!”
Me imagining the roof has caved in or he’s chopped off a limb “ OMG what?! what’s happened?”
Silence
”WHATS HAPPENED?!”
More Silence.. then
”AAAAAAAAGGGGGH!”
Okay then I actually get up from the sofa
“Hello? What’s happened?!”
Probably more silence then general grumbling and then he’ll say something like ‘these garlic cloves are really irritating to peel’.
At which point I’m standing in front of him and I have to do this face 🫤 because I think he’s used up his emergency energy on minor irritations. It’s like the man who cried garlic… so if we were indeed in any danger from intruders or collapsing roofs I’d just be swigging wine assuming he’s struggling with vegetables.

I'm with you on the loud dramatics, itslikecakesbutitsnotcakes. My DH will shout "Oh no!" from a different room on a regular basis. It's usually nothing more than our cats fighting, or he's put too much pasta in a pan. I usually get up and check, in case a UFO has landed in the back garden, or he's chopped a finger off.

The one time I thought I'd let him deal with whatever crisis it was by himself, a fox had come in through the back door. His "Oh, no," seemed quite mild in the circumstances.

This reminds of a quote I can’t remember who said it though, it was something like I always wondered what my mom was doing when we were leaving the house, waiting for her in the car and she was always late, and then I grew up and realised, it’s everything. She’s doing everything.

My daughter is obsessed with receipts she has autism. She just likes to see the shop name on them. She doesn't actually understand what they are for. But she walks proudly out of shops clutching the receipt until she sees the shop sign outside. Then it's handed to me. I'm always emptying them out my bag sorting through what we need to keep and throw away.

I shouldn't complain because I should be grateful but I hate the way DH does dishes!! He loads them all in the bowl, adds (way too much) fairy liquid and fills the bowl with water. In my opinion you can't wash them properly like this as you have no room to move anything in the water

My older sister used to be like this when she came round. There was one time she kept saying she was going but didn't. DD was about 4/5 at the time she has severe autism. So DD starts pushing her out the house singing go go go go bye bye bye bye. I was absolutely pissing myself laughing. When she pushed her outside she ran back in the house to look out the front window watching her get in the car laughing at her. Wish I had the guts to do that. I'm no contact with her now my sister not my daughter.